15. When the puzzle piece falls into place
"Niall has been looking for you."
I took off my jacket and went into the kitchen. Mom sat at the table and drank coffee. Dad stood talking on the phone with someone from work. I swallowed and sat down.
"What did he say?"
She looked at me and smiled weakly.
"I just wonder why you broke up with him? Were you in love with Louis instead?"
I couldn't tell her the truth. I couldn't tell my own mom about why I chose to dump Niall.
"There are a lot of things." I said low and looked down at my hands. "I love Niall, but I also know that I can't be with him. He needs another girl than me."
Mom sighed lightly and seemed to understand me. Perhaps she sensed the truth? I doubted it, but still, I hoped that she understood.
"You're not in London." she said, and I gave her a puzzled look. Mom smiled and drank more coffee. "I know you had many boys there and you were popular, but you can't take advantage of them."
"That's why I broke up with Niall."
She put down the cup.
"And he loves you? What's the problem? Are Louis tougher and he attracts more than Niall?"
"Niall needs a girl who adores him and that ...." I paused and looked down again. I couldn't tell the truth that I had been unfaithful.
"He loves you." whispered mom. "And you love him? What's the problem?"
I just wanted to cry. I changed the subject.
"Louis wants me and I can't just hang up on the feelings."
"Yeah!" she exclaimed instantly. "You'll get hurt."
I laughed a little bit.
"Mom, I'm not at risk of getting hurt. It's Niall."
She shook her head.
"No, it's you, baby." she said honestly. "You are together with Louis just because you think you aren't good enough for Niall?"
"Something like that."
Mom took my hand and looked straight at me.
"You're good enough for him and he knows it. Niall told me to tell you that he wont back down."
I looked up at her.
"He talked about Louis using you and he said you will realize it."
"Louis has done everything to get me."
Mom laughed a little bit.
"And once he has gotten you, do you think he will stop then? He will find a new girl and he'll break up with you."
"How do you know?"
She laughed a little bit and blushed.
"Niall's pretty smart and he told it to me."
I couldn't think clearly. Could it be the fact that it was Louis who thought he could do whatever he wanted? Once I loved him maybe he would dump me? I understood that there was something in those words, and I chose to think through my choices carefully.
Eleanor called on skype and I chose to talk to her, I answered.
"I'm not mad at you." she whispered, but I saw that she had been crying. "Louis has done the same in the past and he always picks the girls who don't want him."
"Why had no one told it to me?"
"We didn't think you'd fall for him."
I gulped and looked at her through the computer.
"I don't love Louis."
"I know, everyone saw it at the party and even I realized how he steered you. You left us and that was proof enough."
"Eleanor, I've had sex with him."
She laughed a little bit and looked at me.
"He's had sex with half the school, so I don't understand what the problem is?"
I was embarrassed anyway.
"That's why I chose to put an end with Niall."
She shook her head.
"You're crazy. He loves you, and today I spent half the day with him. He forgives all that has happened. Only you see the truth and break up with Louis."
I saw that she was serious.
"Are you saying that Niall ...?" I fell silent, and she nodded.
"He wants nothing more than to be with you and he loves you so much."
I looked down at my hands.
"But can he forgive?"
She looked at me and hesitated.
"You have to atleast try?"
I nodded and swallowed.
"He was here looking for me, before today."
I looked at her again.
"How do you know?"
She laughed and leaned against the computer.
"I was the one who convinced him to be brave and say what he felt to you."
A hope was lit inside me.
"So I have the chance to ..."
Eleanor heard that I didn't get the words out.
"Yes, you have the chance to make everything right again and you know what, I will still try to get Louis. I know he's the wrong guy for me, but I love him."
I smiled at her.
"He's your ..."