I stood in my room looking at myself in my mirror with a blank look on my face. To be honest I didn't really know how to feel. How are you supposed to feel when your dad dies. Adults try to help you with loss, they tell you about the symptoms, the emotions you might be feeling and how you can feel better but nothing can prepare you to how it really feels. "Katie, come on honey" my mum said as she popped her head into my room.
"OK" I said just above a whisper. She just sighed and came to stand behind me now joining the not so happy picture in my mirror. "We'll get through this as a family. OK?"
"OK" Just as I had said that Noah came into my room.
"Um, there's someone at the door" He said to my mum. They then both left my room to attend to probably yet another family member. I missed all of my friends, I could really use them at a time like this but unfortunately they couldn't get a flight down here in time for the funeral. I went on my phone to check the messages that people had sent me, you know the same old 'sorry for your loss'.
I quickly turned my head around to the sound of a knock on my bedroom boor. My eyes widened in shock when I saw Hayes standing there in his black suite and tie. "Hey" He said quietly as he stepped in the room.
"What are you doing here?" I blankly asked him.
"To say sorry"
"Now really isn't the time Hayes"
"And I thought you might need someone to hug."
"Well I don't. Especially not someone who thinks who thinks that I'm a slut."
"Babe, you know I don't think that"
"Don't... call me babe." I walked out and downstairs leaving him in my room alone.
Everyone was silent as the coffin was lowered into the ground .
Twenty minutes later and everyone had gone back to my house for the after gathering and I was the only one still there and hadn't moved from my position once. I just stared into space thinking about how shit this year's been so far. It's only the beginning of February. As I was thinking a stray tear rolled down my face, I just really needed a hug right now. "Still don't need that hug?" I turned around and yet again Hayes was standing there. "Come here" he whispered holding his arms out, giving me exactly what I needed. As soon as I reached him I wrapped my arms around his waist and sobbed into his chest. "I'm so so sorry. For everything. For not believing you and for not being here for you soon enough. I should have come as soon as I heard but I just doubted that you really wanted to talk to me at a time like this especially after what had just happened."
"Hayes, it's fine I forgive you OK. I love you and no matter how stupid you've been I'll always love you and you'll always be the one to cheer me up."