I walk out of my new and recently unpacked room and down the stairs to see Kellin cooking something in the oven.I plop down onto one of the kitchen chairs and watch him.I still don't freaking get it.Why would he choose me out of all them?I'm the walking freak show of the agency,well,was.The other girls and boys are normal and good looking,I honestly don't believe I have any beauty whatsoever.
"You like lasagna?"he asks with his back still turned to the oven.
"Um...yeah,"I answer softly.
He turns around and sits in the chair next to me.I smile half heartedly at him and he sort of frowns.
"What's wrong?"he asks.
"Don't lie Holly,"he says.
I avert my eyes to a corner of the countertop and try to pretend that I'm thinking about something.He doesn't buy it though so I just come out with it.
"Why would you choose me?I just don't get it,"I admit.
He frowns and looks at me with a look of sympathy.But I'm not sure,nobody has ever been sympathetic towards me.
"You don't have good self esteem do you?"he asks.
I shake my head,amazed.I've only known him for a couple hours and he already knows me and how I feel.
"I picked you cause I saw something different in you than the rest of the kids,"he explains.
"Like weirdness?"I mumble.
He glares at me with a sad look.I glance away from him and pretend to study my hair in my compact mirror.
"No.I saw a girl with a spark.A girl who was different and not afraid to show it,I bet a lot of those other kids didn't show their complete true selves,"he smiles halfly.
I nod my head and he pulls me into a hug.It's the first hug I've gotten in four years.It feels nice to be cared about at least an ounce for once.I hold onto him,not wanting this only act of attention I've gotten in years to end.He pulls away after a few minutes then kisses the too of my head.He then walks back over to the oven.
I raise up and walk into the living room,I flick on the television with the remote and browse through the channels.I get excited when I see Identity Thief is on,I switch it to the channel and luckily it only has been airing for ten minutes.
After about twenty minutes Kellin walks in with two plates of lasagna.He hands me one and we both glue our eyes to the screen.After the movie ends we've laughed so hard it almost hurts.We throw away the paper plates and I walk upstairs to my bedroom.
When I see the picture of my parents when I was born on the table by the bed I feel the wind knock out of me.I grab the knife under my bed I snatched from the kitchen drawer when I arrived and start to dig it into the skin of my arm.Blood instantly starts to slide down to my wrists and I start to cry even harder.
I walk upstairs to Holly's door.I want to ask her if she wants to watch another movie with me.I swing open the door and what I see breaks my heart.She's sitting there with a tear soaked face,cut up arm,and a bloody knife.Before I can think I race up to her and snatch the knife out of her hand.Tears well up in my eyes,she sits there with an alarmed look.Then she starts to cry even harder.
I sit down and hold her while she cries into my shirt.I stroke her hair gently and she clings to me as if for dear life.
"I hate myself!Here I go again with being the wimpy little emo girl.Who even fucking cares?I'm ugly,fat,stupid,and a fucking worthless waste of human air bitch!I was a mistake!"she sobs.
I'm stunned into silence.I can't believe she feels she is worthless,she's just a kid!Nobody should treat her wrong at such a young age!I wonder what happened between the movie and now to make her like this.
"Why did you start cutting?"I whisper soothingly.
"That picture!"she gasps as she points toward her dresser.
I look at it and then realize all this is my fault.The desk lady gave me that picture out of her file before we left.I framed it and put it there for her,not expecting this to be the result.I lay down on her bed with her and try to calm her down.But we soon both fall asleep on her bed.