The slut out in the hallway is just about to go into the elevator, but my husband stops her. What would he want with a whore like her?
He tells her that she looks familiar. Then goes on to ask if she knows a girl named Holly Quinn.
Why would he ask that girl about her? A year after she died he stopped visiting the graveyard as I did also. We wanted to move on from those two who meant so much to us, visiting their graves would only bring us down. We never even spoke about them again.
I never met the Holly girl. I could never get Kellin to talk to me about her to understand his relation to her either, it seemed too painful for him to talk about. Could she be an ex wife? No. She was a minor even if she did have his last name. A sister maybe? No. Kellin's parents have told me that he's an only child.
It's all too confusing to try and figure out. Why would she have his last name if she wasn't related or married to him? Who is the mystery girl who seemed to rip out Kellin's heart and take it with his when she passed?
I only know three things about her excluding her name. Only because in the earlier times of her death Kellin would slip up and say something about her without thinking, he doesn't slip up anymore. All I know is that she was only fourteen when she died...just two months away from fifteen. She was emo like Kellin and she was very fragile and broken on the inside. What has broken her Kellin never said.
The last thing I know about the child is the cause of her death. Something I thought of a lot after my father died...such an ugly, horrible word. Suicide. She cut her arms up and died of blood loss, the doctor said that the way she did it was very painful. That's a girl who didn't care anymore...she scared me. Only because my depression was getting so bad and I never knew anybody could reach a point like that. I didn't want to reach that point.
"Because that name belongs to me Kellin," the girl admits.
I feel my jaw drop to the tile floor in shock...this girl is supposed to be dead, has her own tombstone and death certificate and everything. Yet here she is standing right in front of us.
I take in her every detail. She looks older than in the pictures Kellin has hidden in his wallet, of course she does, she's not a kid anymore. Her hair is kinda different too. It's still black, but instead of red streaks she now has red tips. Her eyes are a little different too. Instead of beholding the look of a drowning child, they show the look of a long dead young woman.
Her eyes hold desperation, desperate for what I don't know. Tears start to roll down her ivory cheeks and she runs down the staircase, ignoring the elevator. Kellin chases after her, and I chase after him. When all the running is through, we're in front of the check in desk.
Holly attempts to run out the door, but Kellin grabs the sleeve of her sweater and pulls her close to him...too close for my liking. She struggles to get away, but she's powerless against him. He too starts to cry, and the next thing that happens gives me a mix of emotions. Holly puts her hand on Kellin's cheek and leans her forehead against his. He takes a step back, rejecting her.
"What we had was a long time ago. I'm married now and you're so different. Can we at least be friends?" Kellin pleads.
Holly shakes her head, shoves him back, and races out the door sobbing. I feel angry at the girl for trying to steal my husband. I feel sympathetic for her because she has nobody. More than anything I feel like a horrible person.
I used to have what Kellin is to her...a painkiller. He's her painkiller. When you have so much pain that you can't get past it, there's always one person to numb that pained feeling. He's my husband...but in a way I stole him from her. Lord what should I do?