Chapter four-- The Hurtful Effect Of Hate
Images fly though my mind. Images of the past. A trickle of sweat runs down my back.
She takes a deep breath.
It feels like this is going on forever but I'm well aware it's only been a few seconds.
"Veronica..." She whispers.
"What about Veronica?" I ask.
"Sh-she and Jasmine..."
Ugh not Jasmine... Why does she have to be involved. I bet you Jasmine did something dumb to Veronica. I hate that they hang out.
"They," Tears rush down her face, "They couldn't take it. They killed themselves together."
I knew they were friends but.. I never expected this...
My fingers intertwine with the bedsheets.
I can't.. I can't loose her too. I have no family now. I already know I have no real friends they all hate me.
I can't cry. No. Not now.
"Why are you telling me?" I mumble.
"Because... Veronica wrote this for you. She wanted me to give it to you."
I ignore the note and I storm out of the building.
I unlock my car.
Natalie chases after me.
"Aaron you need to read this! This is your sister's last words!" She yells.
"I don't want to read it okay!" I yell catching her off guard, "First it's my brother, then it's my parents, now it's her!" I scream.
"Y-You had a brother?" She asks.
"Just please tell me it's a dream..." I mumble.
"Aaron I could, but it wouldn't be true."
"No," I whisper.
"What?" She asks.
"No! I'm going to wake up! My sister, she wouldn't ever leave me like this! She wouldn't leave her family! Sh-she wouldn't ever-" I stop myself and I get into my car.
I don't want to cry. I'm angry.
She would leave me and her family behind without a second thought!
"It wasn't an accident because she wanted to die! She wanted to leave her family! She wanted to leave her friends she had an amazing life but is so goddamn selfish she ended up killing herself!" I yell.
"Aaron the note-"
"Enough with the note!" I yell.
I take the note and I rip it up.
I throw it at Natalie and I drive home.
She killed herself. Jasmine killed herself.
I later find out Jasmine was abused and that's why she killed herself. I didn't listen to Veronica's reasoning. She's just selfish.
I don't cry.
I will never cry over her death.
She left me alone, she left her family alone.
That moment I decided to do something that I've been dying to do since the day my parents died that I never brought myself to do.
I turned off my emotions.
In other words I decided that this is the day... That I don't care anymore. This is when I stop caring about everything and everyone.
This is when all future emotions leave and past emotions burn in hell.
What hurt me won't anymore.
My pain and suffering will no longer hurt me.
I don't go home.
I drive to a local bar that doesn't ID.
I had two too many to drink.
I get back into my car then I drive home.
Shockingly enough I didn't wreck.
I come home and I have a weed then I lay down.
I go to sleep.
When I wake up I don't go to school.
But Brianna comes over.
I don't talk to her and she doesn't talk to me, not much a shock on her part though.
She grabs her white board an writes 'Will you sing the song' the white board plainly asks.
"No." I say.
I stand up and I walk away.
She chases after me.
She writes something but I don't look, no matter how much she struggles to have me look.
I grab a smoke and I start to smoke it.
I look at her and her face is red with anger and her eyes are full of tears.
"Really? Crying?" I blow smoke out of my mouth, "You're pathetic." I say.
A tear runs down her face.
"You know what?" She says.
Well that caught me off guard.
"Aaron you're a bigger douche than usual... I have no idea what's gotten into you but... Stop." Then she storms out.