I wake standing up. Hovering above five different bowls. Five different personalities. The elements that formed our society. All I could think was that I wished there would be a sixth. One created just for me. A future suited just for me. In reality that sixth option was no longer, as that choice was to join the factionless.
I remember my considerations before. Remember the thought of running. The thought that only a logical soul would think in that situation. I was erudite born, erudite bred. I was erudite, and that's why I had considered running. Yet fear had taken over me. As always.
I looked down at my blue clothing, inhaling the scent of only the most sufficient washing powder. Displayed on each individual fiber of my formal yet practical wear. My glasses sliding the course of my nose's bridge. A thin strand of blonde trailing down my cheek, escaping from behind my ear. I again look at my clothing, and then the clear content of the bowl in front of me, reflecting the blue material.
Blue calmness to make your mind focus. As blue as the sky that I had witnessed merely an hour before. I could not turn that sky grey for the sake of others. Blindingly sunny forcing me to forget all purpose. Black, just to act as the nights spy itself. Both the night and the illuminating moon, honesty shining through. I had in fact only one option. Not the five that they made it out to be. Not the sixth that they had used as a consequence. One. I reach for the knife.
My eyes flash at the pain, the thin slit gaping down the center of my palm. I come back to reality. I was in my fear landscape. I had to choose all over again. I wonder what would happen if I chose differently this time. Is that what would set me free of this memory? Once more my sense cowers with my minds illogical imaginings. Then the calm and straight celebrations of my home faction.
I watch as a redness too pure to be natural protrudes through the hole in my flesh. I watch as it slides the course of my fingers, right to the tip of the smallest. I watch as my hand turns in unison with the drip, I just wanted it to happen faster. I watch as it's honorable colour bleaches the clear liquid in a coral explosion. I watch as I define myself. As I define my future. I watch the melting ripples in the bowl. I watch in regret.