My story of eternal pain

I'm going to tell my story. How i live with cancer, and how i'm fighting it every day, and how i been thinking about life and death.


9. The accident

I have brain-cancer. I had a seizure. My tumor is sitting in my feeling center, and that means that sometimes I can't control my emotions.

I would give the roses, which I had gotten the day before by Jonas (my boyfriend), some water. I dropped them on the floor, and couldn't stop crying. My mom called him, and told him what had happened. She knew, that he was the only one I would listen to. He said he would hurry up, and that he would be within five minutes.

My mom had waited for 20 minutes,when my dad called. I had been sitting on the floor and cried, the hole time. I looked up at my mom, while she was taking in the phone. Then she started crying. I stopped.

"Mom, what is wrong?" I started panic.

"We need to go to the hospital." she sad.

"Who is hurt?" I already knew who, but i didn't want to believe it.

"Jonas and his mom has been in and accident." 

When we came to the hospital, he was in surgery. His mom was okay, and we went in to check on her. 

Then i started cry again.

"You okay?" My mom asked Pia (Jonas's mom)

"Yes. Is he out yet?"

"No" I answered. I was finally stopped crying.

What happened thereafter is a little hazy, since I fainted. But he died on the table. I never got to talk to him again. I remember that day so clearly, because it was the worst day in my life. Every little detail.I remember what clothes i had on, how my hair looked like. I remember everything. And now you know how it happen. It was my fault. He wouldn't be in that car, if it weren't for me. So it's all my fault. Pia lost everything, because of me. She still comes visiting me, and then we talk about Jonas. That's how we getting trough it.


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