My story of eternal pain

I'm going to tell my story. How i live with cancer, and how i'm fighting it every day, and how i been thinking about life and death.


16. It's been a awhile

I'm sorry that I haven't been writhing. But now I'm here. 

My tumor has grown. It's bigger now. So it's not only my feeling that I can't control, but also my power to know whats right, and what isn't. what I mean is, that I'm slowly losing my power to discern fantasy from reality. So when I think of accident, it's hard to believe that it happen. I have called Pia so many times, to know why Jonas don't pick up. And she tells me what happen every time. But they are giving me some kind of new medicine. They think it would help.   

But today's my birthday. I'm now 15. It has been a good day, without tears and any seizures. I don't like presents, and I don't like being celebrated, because the only day there is worth celebrating, is the day I'm cancer-free. And it's not gonna happen. So why celebrate that I have lived for 15 years, when they has been hell. Of course it first started when I was 11, but that's how long I have lived, because the last 4 yeas, the last 1456 days, has been pain after pain. And now I'm giving up. I can't do this anymore...

I'm sorry guys, but I'm gonna stop writhing. I have no fate anymore. I can't survive, so I need to stop believing.

Goodbye guys, have a great life.

- Amalie


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