I finally came back to school. I've been off for 3 days and all for the same reason. Nathan. I still wouldn't let myself believe that I will never see his beautiful face ever again. His gorgeous scruffy hair with chunks falling in front if his ears. I missed him already, how was I going to manage the rest of my life? Let alone today. I dreaded this so much. My hair wasn't done and I had bags under my eyes. I was skinny as ever! Not eating much of my food (mum eventually forced me to). Life was horrible. Life was mean. God was mean. Why did he have to be so selfish to take somebody I loved away! I started crying again. Dad insisted on driving me to school. I was sobbing in the car.
"Honey, are you sure you want to go in today?" He wondered. "It's not too late to turn back," I shook my head rapidly, wiping away the tears.
"I'm fine," I said, obviously not fine. "I really want to go in today," I whimpered. The head teacher was waiting by the gates. He went over to dads car and looked at me through the window.
"You are a very brave girl, Zoe," he greeted me. "I am so sorry for your loss," he told me as though I was related to Nathan. I shrugged which made me cry again. Dad looked at me very sympathetically. He then whispered something to sir.
"I'm off work today so if she needs collecting I'm available,"
"Dad I'm fine!" I rudely told him. He nodded.
"Okay, baby cakes," he kissed my cheek. "I hope you have a good day," he waved bye. I got out of the car. People were starring at me. Probably because I had big red puffy cheeks from crying, or they knew about Nathan and how close I was to him, or because I was walking next to sir.
"I'm sorry," people kept saying as I walked past them. Even people I didn't know that were in the year above or below. I felt a deep ache in my heart.
Olivia spotted me.
"Not now," sir told her, as if he was my security guard. Olivia looked really torn.
"I'm really REALLY sorry Zoe," she sobbed. This time it was real. I could tell she really was sorry. "I honestly didn't know he had problems at home-"
"Neither did I until last Friday," I said looking down. She held her arms out for a hug. As much as I hated Olivia, I could really do with a hug. So I went to her and hugged her, crying. To be honest I haven't stopped crying since I started. I heard liv sniffing. I bit my lip so stop me from screaming in agony and continued walking with sir.
First thing today was a big assembly. I knew what it was about already. I was last to enter the hall. I sat right at the back. They had already started. It was a sort of memorial for Nathan. Sir stood on the stage at the front of the hall and was giving us a speech.
"Now I'm sure many of you heard the situation with one of our pupils at this school. I am very sorry to say that Nathan, a hard working lad, has unfortunately passed away Saturday morning. I am even more sorry to say that this was an amazing boy, god has gained another angel. And yet some of you have treated this amazing boy with disrespect and dishonour. I will not tolerate any of that kind of behaviour. It is unacceptable in this school. Nathan, he didn't deserve any of it. At least he's free from it now," I heard a sob come from the audience. I was certain it was a kid messing about making me really mad. I didn't know if I could take it anymore. Sir had reminded me what I have forgotten and that is the torture Nathan lived all his life. Of course as you can imagine, I didn't make it through the day. I hardly made it through the first half of the day. Dad came to get me at break. God, if I couldn't do it today who knows what am I going to be like on Sunday at the church for his funeral.