I walked out of Freddie's shop, hoping to come back later. I can't believe he didn't know and I really can't believe I was the one to break it to him.
I know it was a bad idea but I decided to go to Nathan's building. Obviously not in his flat because people would be living there now with his mum in prison and Nathan, well, gone. I just wanted to see it to bring back the little memories we had. I faced the building and there was a skip outside. An old lady was chucking stuff inside the skip. Stuff I recognised.
"What are you doing?" I asked, walking up to the old lady and looking through what was in the skip. "This is not junk!" I shouted at her.
"People living in room moved out. Didn't take," she told me, she was obviously foreign.
"Of course they didn't take! Don't you know anything?!" I said as though she had any idea what happened to Nathan and his mum which she obviously didn't.
"Take what you want," she sniggered, abandoning me with the skip. She went inside, probably to get more stuff that was Nathan's to throw out. I followed her in. I entered the apartment, Nathan's apartment. This was strange. Really strange. The silence and stillness of it gave me a shuddered. The lady went into his room and came out holding the record player.
"I'll take that," I said quickly, removing the heavy object from her elderly hands. She nodded and went back in to get more stuff. I wanted all of it. "You know what, why don't you leave and ill take care of everything," I told her, placing the record player by the door. The old lady shrugged and walked out of the flat leaving me alone. I tied my hair up and rolled up my sleeves. I got out all the records from Nathan's self and started to flicking through them. I couldn't take them all, he had a lot. A few that survived when his mum destroyed them and my dads. I took the ones that he made me listen to and a couple others. All the other records weren't going in the skip, of course not! They are not rubbish. I'll just drop them off later to Freddie.
Next to sort out was clothes. I wanted all of that too. I took his hoodie off from the hook behind his door and took a deep smell. It smelt of him. I hugged the hoodie as though it was him and then folded it neatly and placed it by the records I was taking home. His reeboks sat by the door. All of this brought back images of Nathan. I had almost forgotten what he looked like and smelt like... I was too busy thinking what he was like, personality wise. I never had chance to tell him how beautiful he was. Course I thought it but he never heard it and now he never will. I continued looking through his wardrobe. There was his top he wore on our last date, it was white with a black shoe on it. And next to it was the shirt I wore after our 'water fight'. I giggled at the memory. It was a happy memory. I missed him. I started crying again, dropping the tops to free my arms so if have something to wipe my tears with. I then knelt down to pick them up. I heard footsteps behind me. It was the old lady. She starred at me, fascinated. I was still crying my heart out and picking up the tops and she was saying nothing. She just looked at me like she'd never seen someone cry before. Then she smiled at me in a sympathetic way and walked off. I cried harder. And turned back.
I had all the stuff I was taking home in 5 boxes, that's how much stuff Nathan had that I was interested in. All the rest was either going to Freddie or chucked away. I didn't want to chuck anything away but that's life. I looked around quickly before closing the door for good.
"Goodbye Nathan," I whispered under my breath, blowing a kiss into thin air. I closed the front door of the apartment and left.