About three weeks ago I was listening to my mom and her best friends conversation about a nearby twelve step program. They were only kidding when bringing it up but it was the only thing filling my mind from that moment on. A pull in my gut, and this guilty feeling I started to get was my only motivation to actually looking into what it was. Although it was easy finding the website for it, I haven't thought out how I would attend without my mom questioning me. I could never tell my mom about what was wrong with me, I just couldn't stand to see her eyes change in the way she looked at me after I admitted my addiction.
I noticed I was beginning to shut my family out. Spend more time alone in my room just thinking about what I should do. I never thought I would lie to my family the way I soon will. My family is built on trust, we are all as open as books and the only time you kept secrets was when you're buying presents and don't wanna spill the beans. But I knew I had to do this. For years I would try to convince myself to quit, but thinking about it made it worse. Being a seventeen year old girl always surrounded by temptation, it's not easy making promises to myself anymore.