Every few minutes I checked my phone hopping to see a new call or message from Harry. We haven't talked all day, which was very unusual.
"Is everything okay?" Audri asked just before sipping her Starbucks drink.
"What? Oh yeah sorry. It's just... Harry hasn't text or called all day and that's not like him." I explained scrolling through our old messages.
"He could be buzzy?" She suggested pushing her bottom lip out.
"Yeah, I guess so..." I said turning off my phone sliding it in my back pocket.
"So!" Audri yelled after she chugged down the last drops of her drink, slamming the empty cup on the table. I jumped. If I was in another world she definitely shocked me out of it.
"What's next?!" She asked excited.
"Oo I know! Here; the next adventure is my treat."
"Oh alright ha-ha."
Standing up we both walked over to the trash throwing our empty cups away. She lead the way out the door and to the car. Right before walking over to the passenger side she stopped.
"What?" I asked unsure why she wasn't going in the car.
"It's not going to be a surprise if I have to tell you where we are going." She explained blankly with a small grin.
I rolled my eyes laughing taking my keys out my front pocket, I tossed them to her. She easily caught them with a huge smile, it's not very common for me to let her drive. "Awesomeeee," she sang unlocking the doors.
Both hands on the black steering wheel, and both eyes sharp forward, she was silent. Even though she has her license she looks like she barley just got her permit. While she drives she stays silent giving all her attention to the road ahead. I wasn't complaining because I was also lost in thought over Harry. Did I do something wrong? Was he mad at me? Leaning forward I connected my phone to the car and played the playlist I made for Audri. Turning up the volume; I sat back in the seat laying my head back, and shut my eyes trying to focus only on the music.
Whenever I stand I'm pulled back to the ground. The world around me is blurry and constantly moving. I
Went to grab the almost empty bottle of vodka, but I missed and it fell over, spilling all over the black counter. "Damn," I whispered placing both hands on the counter making a splash. I guess I will just have to drink it off the counter.
"She's dead. Harry I'm sorry. She's dead," my mothers voice still ringing in my head. It made me angry every time i heard her voice. I slammed my fist onto the counter then sat back up straight ignoring the liquid dripping from my chin. Why isn't the pain going away? Why can't I forget?
Images of her flickered in my head. Images of her laughing. Her bright yellow hair, her bright blue eyes. The way her face lit up when she would smile. It made me smile but then I remembered again.
She shouldn't of died. It's my fault anyway. I should be the one dead. Not her. I'm the one that was so into drugs. Not her. I took her to all the parties. I made her drink that first beer. That first smoke. I should be dead. Not her.
Scooting out of the wooden stool I collapsed to the floor. If I didn't place my hand on my thigh I would of forgotten I even knew how to walk. It's as if my entire body shut down expect for my brain.
I miss home. I miss looking around seeing familiar faces. I miss being home. But then I remembered Emma. Oh Emma. Guilt swirled through my body beginning in my chest. Why am I getting involved with her. She doesn't deserve to be around a monster like me. But it's so hard for me to stay away. Why can't I just stay away, push myself away from her. Far away. But I love her. I can't hurt her.
Confused in thought I closed my eyes not recognizing my body falling into asleep. The floor was cold, but felt good against my boiling headache. My nose was running but I was too weak to do anything about it. I slid my hands under my legs to comfortingly lay on my stomach. Drifting into a black sleep.
"Emma wake up! Wake up! We're here!" Audri said excited shanking my arm. The car was parked and turned off. The sun was blazing bright into my eyes blinding my vision.
"What time is it?" I said exhaling and widely stretching.
"Oh uh well. It's about noon." She replied looking at the car clock. I could tell she was expecting something else.
After collecting myself, I sat up to look around. We were in a small parking lot surrounded by nothing but green. Looking up the trees seemed to go up to the clouds. I assume wherever we are, its not very buzzy because we are the only car here. Looking back at Audri all I could see was her white, perfect teeth behind her giant smile.
"What is this? What are we doing in a...forest?" I asked confused making my eyebrows squeeze together.
"Well since it's lunch time, I though it would be cool to have a fire! Like...a camp fire!" She said grinning then wiggled her fingers doing jazz hands.
"Do we even have wood?... Or food to even cook?" I asked a little doubtful about the whole fire thing.
"Yeah! I got it all while you were sleeping. Uh I got stuff to make pizzas and s'mores. I hope that's okay." She explained proud of her skill, and achieving her goal to not wake me. I chuckled, now really excited to be doing this.
"Alright then, let's go!" I said leaning over taking my seatbelt off and opening the passenger door.
Opening the back trunk, the first thing I saw was all the wood. There must if been five bundles of this stuff!
"Oh my gosh Audri!" I said in shock. Are we burning all this?
"What?" She responded giggling grabbing all that she could with her two tan, small hands. Reaching down I grabbed the rest not paying attention to what I was getting.
We walked towards an opening between two giant bushes. The path was marked with gravel and dead leaves. From here I couldn't see the other side, and we had no idea what to expect.
After about three minutes of walking, we finally made it off the trail. The park was bare with nothing but land and places to sit. Lots of running space. In the far distant I could see a little kids playground painted yellow. The grass was light green with blotches of yellow grass I'm random spots all around.
"There!" Audri yelled with the biggest grin pointing towards a fire pit using her elbow and head. Looking at it I slightly nodded and we walked over to it placing everything on the table. Finally I got to see everything she bought and it looked like a lot. Cheese, tomato sauce, gram crackers, pineapple, pepperoni, mushrooms, everything! And not to mention all the pizza dough we could survive for days.
"Oh and I got your favorite," she said pulling a pouch of something red. Examining the white bag I read the text that said 'bacon bits' and i imagined my pizza with its delicious pizza sauce, yellow cheese, pineapple, and bacon.
"Oh yay!" I said clapping my hands doing a little dance out of excitement.
"Now first we need to get the fire set up, and going. I'm just gonna run to the car and grab the oil stuff. I forgot to get it." She said double checking the table, and ground. "I will be right back okay?" She said walking towards the bushes.
"Okay, do you need any help?" I asked holding the little pack of pre cooked bacon bits.
"Nah I got it," she shouted back
"Alright.. Have fun I guess ha-ha," I replayed
She laughed and turned in the gravel path, out if site. Quickly I grabbed for my phone turning it on. Anxious I watched the grey apple appear. Finally the lock screen appeared, and I unlocked the screen. Moments later the phone repeatedly vibrated and beeped. A little happy I assumed they were from Harry. Looking at all of them; I saw none from him. Feeling a little disappointed I closed out all the useless notifications.
I quickly opened up my messages and went to Harry's name. I started to type, but paused not knowing what to say. I wanted to talk to him but I don't want to be rude to Audri. Rolling my eyes I groaned turning the phone off. I could hear a twig crack so I assumed it was Audri.
Sliding the phone in my back pocket I started to grab some wood. Walking over to the pit I stacked them in a hashtag pattern. Looking around I found some small twigs to put in the middle, so it could start. I could hear Audri approaching but gave no attention to her.
"Oo what's that?" Audri asked placing the oil onto the table.
"Oh I like to call it 'The Hashtag Fire'" I replied grinning, I was quite proud of my good work. Slightly nodding her head she opened the cap taking off a silver sealer. Putting the lid back on she handed me the bottle.
"I have the lighter, just put that on then I will light it." She explained grabbing the long, red lighter from off the table.
We cooked a fire having half burnt, half uncooked pizzas. They were highly delicious! We had lots of fun hanging out and making a fire together. After about two hours; we got rained out and headed back.
"I should probably get back home." Audri said as we were driving back.
"Okay, yeah me too." I said then took out my GPS quickly pulling up her address at a red light.
"Go straight," the electrical voice demanded and i obeyed. After a few minutes I could hear a quiet snore. I looked over seeing Audri dead asleep. Her olive skin smooth and calm.
"Okay, wake up we're here." I said softly shanking her awake.
Not saying a word she opened her eyes and stretched. Leaning over she took her seat belt of and sighed. N
"Alright," she mumbled sitting up turning towards me. "Thank you...for today. It was fun. Harry will call... And if he doesn't then man up and call him." She said with her eyes shut, but she was very determined.
"Okay, thanks." I said slightly laughing rubbing her arm. We hugged then she left for her house.
After leaving her house I headed home thinking about what she said just before she left. So when I got home I went upstairs and called.
"Wha- uhh...ello?" Harry answered with a slight slur in his voice.
"Hey... Is everything okay?" I asked confused, was he high or something?
"Yeh," he mumbled, but I wasn't so sure.
"Oh nothin he-he don't worry bea I love you, don't worry."
"You what? Uh Harry what's wrong with you"
"EMMA NOTHING! Oh sorry I don't mean to yell. But uh what you doin tonight?"
"Nothing really, it's Saturday."
"Great! Come over I got something to show you." He said sounding quite sexy, which worried me.
"Uh I don't know where you live."
"Aw shit. Uh okay I will text you the address babe."
"See you soon?"
"Alright. Text me."
After I hung up I went and changed into something so I wouldn't smell like a fire. I put on a pink lace top with my favorite jeans that made my butt look ace. Just before walking out I sprayed some lavender perfume on and headed on my way.
"I'm going over to Rachel's house for our art project. I might be back late but I don't know for sure." I said to mom just before walking out the door. She was stuck in a movie she was watching on the tv. "Okay, have fun." She said not looking away from the screen.
Sitting in the car I plugged the address into the GPS and headed on my way.
Walking up the stairs of his dark apartment complex to his room, I found his door. Standing there for a moment I could feel my heart race. I'm about to be in Harry's place, alone. I mean...we have been alone before, but not like this. Taking a deep breath I knocked on the door.
"Oh!" I could hear Harry yell, then a slight moan as if he was standing up. Suddenly something crashed making a huge thud noise.
"Damn!" His voice sounded closer to the door. I bit my tongue trying to stay anything, I wanted to pretend I didn't hear him. There was a thud against the door then it was unlocked. Slowly he opened it.
"Heeyy there babe." He said with a slur and a half smile showing his dimples. I could smell the alcohol when he breathed. He was drunk.
His hair was a mess, but wrapped up in a brown headband. He looked as if he didn't know what a mirror was. His skin was white with a soft tan. He was shirtless, and very fit. I never noticed he had so many tattoos. And when I saw his giant butterfly tattoo on his stomach, I bit my lip so I wouldn't laugh. His eyes showed pain but he tried covering it with a smile. It made me feel worried that something bad happened to him.
"Come in babe," he said with a seductive look in his eyes. He grabbed my shirt pulling me in his place, then shutting the door and locking it. Walking backwards he almost tripped over his feet but quickly caught his balance.
The apartment was dark, the only light on was from the television. Empty bottles of vodka and wine were laying on the counter, and floor next to his kitchen. It was a small place and surprisingly very clean.
"Harry what's wron-" I started to say but was cut off by his lips on mine.
I could taste the alcohol on his lips which burned a little. My lungs stopped moving when I got a big whiff of his scent. He grabbed the back of my head firmly making our lips push more together. It just didn't feel right. It felt as if he was trying to distract himself from a pain deep inside. I tried to push away and at first I was successful but then he pulled me back in. I couldn't move, he was stronger.
"Harry-," I tried to say through his lips,"Harry stop," at this time I was using everything in me to push him away to at least breath.
"Harry stop your hurting me! Harry!" I yelled pushing at his bold shoulders. Finally he paused, then stepped away looking into my eyes. Not saying a word he walked over to his couch and sat down looking at his hands. A bit confused I slowly walked over, and sat next to him. I noticed a tear fall off his cheek, I opened my mouth to say something but nothing followed.
Sliding my hand over I placed mine on his. Slightly turning his head in my direction, he flipped his hand over and held mine. Sitting there for a moment he sat up straight, whipped his face, then turned towards me with a cheeky look.
"What?" I said trying not to smile, but failed horribly.
He stood up grabbing my hands pulling me to stand up with him. Walking backwards he lead me towards a room and I'm guessing it was his bedroom. His bedroom. I've never been in a guys bedroom before. My heart started to race, and my face felt like it was on fire.
"I wanna show you something," he said with a smile. He turned me around so my back was facing his huge perfectly white bed. I was impressed. Leaning in he kissed at my neck. I could feel his tongue swirl around my skin. My eyes rolled back and I couldn't help but moan. He made me feel so good.
I could feel his arms wrap around my me and gently; he laid me onto his bed. His lips moved from my neck to my cheek bone, then to my cheek, following with a kiss.
I could smell the alcohol on his breath but I decided to ignore it.
Fear swarmed in my chest, I was nervous.
But I decided ignored it.