There is no right way to make salad nor life


4. Hey Stranger !

Now I kinda feel sorry for myself .

In the past when I used to look at myself in the mirror I'd get scared. trying to look in my eyes and getting lost in them like if I were an outsider. It was kind of scary sometimes like i was a crazy monster any moment I'd break out and eat myself. 
some other times I wouldn't recognize myself at all. but now I see myself differently, I see this beautiful young girl with so many disappointments on her face and sadness in her eyes. bitter sweet on her lips. 

her face telling thousand stories , on her hair lies the oceans of complications , ugliness and at the same time perfection. sins have marked her hands and all the bad things she done are carved in her scars. they often heal but underneath that skin is the deeper wound that she's carrying around like a gift and a burden.
In her thoughts is this wonder , why is she lonely if she looks so bright when she smiles? why are you so alone if you look so bright when you smile? 

why can't they see her beautiful as much as they see her invisible or quiet or lonely?
all this pain makes her face old like a pyramid that carried lots of secrets within. the years can't be counted on her face since they are unknown. 
the looks of disappointment,depression. screaming out for help to break the loneliness but she is afraid because she knows that no matter how hard she tries she will still be lonely inside herself and her inner battles. 

she is looking at me with a silent face that carries thousand words, that is crying for help and begging for my company... I thought we were one but I still have not come any further. 

I. Am. Looking. At. Myself. As. An outsider.

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