Rin changes a lot quicker this time round, with the promise of catching Roan alone for a few moments, she swaps outfits without me even seeing her undress.
Not that I’d want to.
I may be uncertain about Leo but I was sure about my preferences.
Rin’s little quick change act serves her well, when I make my way into the canteen, her and Roan are all cosy on the sofa, Leo looking moody and uncomfortable on the end.
Grabbing a chicken panini, I join them, all eyes turning disconcertingly to me, Roan and Rin smiling.
“So,” Roan begins, voice holding the promise of embarrassment. “Saw you and Alex rolling around.” Rin starts giggling. “Why did Ma’am say you were being inappropriate?”
I glare at him, aware of Leo beside me.
“Says you! What you two were doing was more like foreplay then fighting!”
“But were not talking about us.” Roan smirks, leaning forward, clinging to Rin’s legs so they don’t slip off his lap. “What were you doing?”
I feel my face heat, a small ball forming.
“He was just saying stuff. Can we leave it?”
“Yes, can we? I’d rather not hear about that jerk.” Leo grumbles.
I aim my glare at him.
“Well you wouldn’t have to if you’d thought with your head rather than your libido. If you hadn’t gone off with Devil Barbie, I wouldn’t have had to bite his wrist till he bled just to get him off me!”
His jaw becomes firmer as he clenches it, teeth grinding together.
“Oh come on, if you’d wanted him off you, you would have zapped him.”
“We weren’t allowed!” I cry, Roan and Rin looking uncomfortable.
Good, they’d freaking started this argument.
“Like that’s ever stopped you before. Just admit you like him and let us all…. deal with it.”
I narrow my eyes but feel my heart pinch.
He honestly thought there was something going on between us. He was hurting.
Well so was I.
“Admit you like her.”
We sit glaring at each other, Roan and Rin shifting awkwardly.
“You know, I’m still kinda hungry.” Rin pipes up.
“Me too, let’s… get some chocolate from the machine.”
Roan grabs her hand and they jump up, scuttling over to the vending machine.
“You know,” Leo sighs angrily, looking away. “If you don’t feel the same, you should have just told me. You don’t need to shove it in my face by messing around with someone else.”
My mouth drops open.
Does he really think I’d be so childish?
How screwed up does he think I am?
I feel the familiar burn of tears start in my throat, swelling and making it hard to swallow.
I need to go.
I walk away as fast as I can, looking away from Roan and Rin as I pass so they don’t see my tears.
Once I’m out of the canteen and around the corner, I find a secluded spot and sink to the floor, tilting my head back and closing my eyes to try and stop the tears.
Once I’ve finally managed to force them back into the rapidly filling well they came from, I stand up and duck into the toilets, using the mirror to make sure I don’t look like I’ve been crying.
The harsh overhead light makes me look even paler than I usually do, my eyes seeming like the empty sockets of a skull.
I look away from my reflection, take a breath and walk back out.