Starting fresh

I had an old acc. But I deleted it do this is the same Starting Fresh I wrote about a month or so again))))) Keaton Liles is just a 19 year old girl with a secret only few know that's killing her. She had a summer love with Harry but now that she's in college will she be able to forget all the hurt he caused her? ((Self harm included in this story)) p.s. Sorry I suck at blurbs but the story is better than the description

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4. 16

Keaton's P. O. V.

The air outside is quite chilly and crisp if you ask me but that's just it. Asking me. One of the many perks of eating disorders is that even if it's hot out, I'm cold. Cold. Cold. Cold.

The nurses let me wait outside but I know they're still watching me through the crystal glass to make sure I don't try and leave on my own. They need to "make sure I'm safe" but hell they let me leave the building to catch a ride with a stranger for all they know.

When Harry arrives I almost wish it was a stranger...that would be less painful. Although I told him I would try and I have spent more time with him in the last week than I have in 6 years it still pains me just to see his face. I brace myself before I walk over to the sleek car.

I don't even have time to get there before he's opened my door and hold his hand out to help me. I ignore the unneeded door opening but in my mind I can't help but think why he has to be such a gentleman. I turn down his offer of a hand somewhat rudely but I don't care much. I should. But I don't.

"Hey Keaton!" He says cheerfully considering the slight sting of rejection in his eyes from the help he just tried to offer me. "Harry." I counter almost ominously. He tried to make small talk in the car but it ultimately fails so I motion towards the radio silently asking permission. I search for an aux cord to plug my phone into so I can play music I prefer. "You don't mind do you?" I say I dig the plug into my iPhone. He shakes his head happily and appears to be getting ready to see what I'm listening to.

The drive takes about 20-30 minutes and I'm only on my 2nd song. First was 'Jersey' by Mayday Parade, and second was 'Satellites' by Sleeping with Sirens. The last cord of the song finishes up and I turn to Harry. "You listen to this type of music? You've sang along to every single word so far" I almost giggle. It's far from his boy bands style. Not that I don't like their style. My point is proved wen little things begins over the sound system. I immediately skip the song, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. Only to make my face the shade of a tomato when yet anther one of his songs comes on. He laughs but lets it go. Thank god.

We reach the dorms after the slightly-less-than-awkward than I had imagined car ride. "Thank you Harry. Really." I briefly smile at him and close the door before he charms me into letting him in. Damn myself. I really thought I was stronger but the feelings I have...had for Harry are beggining to come back. I don't know if I can do it.

Shit I almost forget about Ryan and my mom as I walk into the dorms and pull our my key. My worry is magnified when I open to door to see Deni barely halfway through a blunt. "Shit Deni! My brother and mom are going to be here in like ten minutes!" I yell. I don't think she even knew I walked in because she jumped from her bed and hid the thing behind her. I'm assuming it's just habit. "Damnit Keaton! I thought you were campus police for a second there but then I remembered your voice!" She giggles. Fuck. This is somewhat funny though. "Haha. Well will you put that out for now. Once Ryan and my mom leave you can take it out again and we can get belligerently high together. Deal?" She smiles so big at me I wonder if she has ever not been happy. But I know otherwise. She walks into the closet and does something with the object. I don't really care for now. I'm stressed. "Do you have any eye drops?" She asks me. I pull some out of my bag and she thanks me quickly. When she's done she puts them back in my bag herself. Now, we wait.

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