Secret; not known or seen by others. Also not meant to be known or seen by others.
My definition? My definition is a hell of a lot more different.
A secret - whether yours or others - could make or break you. It could make you lose your footing and knock you six feet under; the paranoia of someone finding out can slowly but surely take over your life.
It's a constant terror that this event, information and/or secret is let out. It's being afraid; that that six letter word can be a reason for people to see you as a whole new person. For people to distance themselves from you. To not want anything to do with you.
They could use it to their advantage. As a bribe - blackmail. With a few words you can be their little puppet. They control you through threats and warnings - hoping to gain some form of reaction from you. They're the manipulative puppeteer, while your the victimised puppet, a single secret being the strings to this torturous game.
Then there's the issue that your secret is actually let out. A single person holding the information. They tell someone, who tells another and it's a continuous cycle - each time the story getting more and more twisted like a game of Chinese whispers.
A secret is hidden pain. A secret is a chance to be fucked with, a chance to fuck up.
I drove at a speed where if a cop even glanced in my direction I wouldn't have my licence for a couple years, but right now I couldn't care less.
Tiffany had looked so confused. Her cyan orbs kept looking up at me then at that bastard - but that glint of curiosity within them couldn't be missed.
It's been 5 years. Five years of a constant fear that Tiffany would discover my secret. That she would despise me and not even want to hear the sound of my name. If she hates Colton I don't know how she's going to feel towards me.
This is why I never associated myself with her; the more we spoke the larger the chance for her to begin to ask questions. I've wanted to talk to her ever since I met her sarcastic ass. She wasn't like all those girls who threw themselves at you but more intriguing.
God I sound like a pussy.
I swerved into my driveway and ran inside, the keys jingling to the bounce of my footsteps. I flew into my room and looked through my draw for what I was looking for.
I grabbed the small, worn out book and tucked in the photo that was threatening to fall out, into my pocket before turning and running back towards the car. I drove out of the driveway and took a quick glance in the direction of Tiffany's house, seeing that indeed Tiffany must have driven straight to the lake since her car wasn't there.
I parked up upon the isolated hillside next to Tiffany's silver Toyota Corolla. With one last breath I jumped out of the car with the little bronze book in my pocket.
C'mon Miles grow a pair.
I walked towards Tiffany who was sitting skipping rocks into the lake.
"You need to bend your wrist a little more so the rocks bounce further." she seemed a little startled but composed herself quickly. I dropped myself next to her and grabbed a flat stone, with a quick flick of the wrist I threw the rock and it bounced a couple times before sinking, taking all confidence I once had with it. I went to grab another rock before Tiffany gently grabbed my wrist and caused me to look at her - a small shiver shooting through me.
"Why were you ignoring me Miles?" she spoke so quietly I almost didn't hear her. You could tell rejection had played a big part in her life.
"Colton made me." she seemed perplexed.
"No one can make you do anything."
"I guess this is where I have some explaining to do. Colton had told me that if I didn't stop talking to you he'd tell you about what happened in the past; a secret I've tried hiding for a while now." I paused and looked up at her, her eyes were boring into mine, proving that all her attention was on me - something that for once I didn't want. "When we were younger, I don't think you realised but we still lived next door to each other. I had never been one to be a friendly loud kid, I was the more shy, don't talk to anyone kid. That's why when funny enough Colton and Adrian had offered to become my friends I instantly joined them." I pulled out the photo of us three boys standing by each other with large smiles on our faces.
Bastards know not to talk to me anymore.
"Your mum and my own were good friends. They worked together and I remember my mum telling me that they'd been friends since secondary school - they were practically inseparable."
I realised she'd tensed at the subject of her mum. "Both our mothers were walking together the day of the accident. It was a crossing so they'd both expected all cars to stop right? When Colton's dad, Bailey, was driving it was kind of obvious that the speeding hit was intentional. But Bailey was not only drunk, but had hit the wrong person."
I stopped speaking for a moment to let all the information sink in, but soon continued. "Bailey was drunk and when he was driving I guess all anger he felt kind of rose up at that time. Colton's mum, Bailey's wife, was having an affair with my father. From what I know, Bailey had found out only a couple nights before. When he was driving he was practically a delusional bastard. He went to hit my mum, for some reason thinking that may have broken up the affair, but your mum had pushed her out of the way...taking her place."
Her eyes were wide and slowly but surely everything I had said was tumbling into her mind. I pulled out the small journal that was in my pocket and laid it on the grass between us - Tiffany's eyes following my every move. "Your mum, in the hospital, had given my mother this journal. She told her to give it to you when you turned 18, and my mum gave it to me saying it would be more suitable if I gave it to you because we were in the same grade. I guess I may as well give it to you now."
Her trembling hands wrapped around the book and she laid it in her lap. I stopped talking and the thick tension hung between us, me waiting for a reaction and her just receiving cathartic news. We stayed like that for what felt like hours but was probably only a couple minutes. For the second time since I arrived she spoke up, her words pain to the ears of even an ass like me.
"Fuck you and your family Miles Sole."
Hello all!!! First I'd like to ask how are you all today? Anyway this is quite an intense chapter but if you don't understand anything just let me know : ) First time writing in Miles' POV so let me know if you want more of that : ) Thank you all so much for reading and please vote and comment as it makes my day.
Stay fabulous x
Until next time lovelies x