I woke up in the morning to my alarm ringing in my ear. I feel tired and achey.. I got up and got a quick shower. Maybe it'll get rid of some of my tenseness. After the shower I straightened my hair and put a little makeup on. Next I changed into my ripped skinny jeans, 5sos tshirt, and a cute beanie. My phone went off signaling that I got a text message. It was Brandon.
*Hey Autumn, pick you up in 10?*
*Sounds good!* I texted back.
I sat down on the couch and held my head. I've only been awake for about an hour and I already got a headache.. Ugh, great. My phone vibrated again so I quickly glanced over to the screen, having just a little bit if hope that it was Niall, but it's not. Oh well! I don't care. Instead it was Emma calling me.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hey, we need to talk." She replied. She sounds completely wide awake.. I'm still half asleep.
"I can't, Brandon's gonna be here any second." I replied putting my phone between my shoulder and ear, while putting my converse on.
"Autumn, it's important. Wait, who's Brandon?" Shoot, I forgot to tell her about him. Before I could answer I heard a honk. He's here.
"Gotta go I'll call you later and we'll talk." And with that I hung up and made my way out to Brandon's familiar black range rover.. It looks like Niall's but Brandon's is a version made a couple years ago. I wonder what Niall's doing right now.. Probably in bed with Amy.. 'Oh my god, Autumn, quit thinking about him!' My conscious yelled to me.
"You alright?" Brandon asked, worry filled the expression on his face.
"Yeah, yeah. Just thinkin." I replied staring out the window.
"About Niall?" He asked switching lanes effortlessly on the highway and not taking his eyes off the road.
"Yeah.. I just don't know what to think anymore." I sighed but was taken aback at Brandon pulling to the side of the road as cars zoomed passed us.
"What are you doing??" I questioned him as he put the car in park, got out, and walked to my side of the car. I opened the door and he pulled his hand out for me to take, which I gladly did. He pulled me in for a tight hug.
"You did this just so you could hug me?" I chuckled.
"I think we're both going through a lot and deserved a big friendly hug." He smiled and I hugged him tighter. I've only met this boy yesterday and I already believe that he cares more about me more than anybody else I know.
We finally decided on getting back in the car after staying in the hug for who knows how long. I bet people were wondering why two people were standing on the side of the road just hugging each other, haha. With a couple more minutes of driving, we arrived at the restaurant. The outside was cute. It looked small and only one car was parked in the parking lot next to Brandon's. As soon as I walked in the smell of coffee and pancakes hit me.
"Brandon! I haven't seen you in awhile! Sit anywhere you'd like." A lady wearing a stained white apron said to us. She looked around 40.
He guided me to a table in the back of the small cafe and we sat down. The only thing you could hear was the sound of the tv that was hanging on the wall behind me and pots and pans in the kitchen. Soon enough the same lady came over to the table.
"Hey! Got yourself a new girlfriend? When did you and Jen break up?" The lady asked in her thick British accent.
"We broke up a couple months ago." Brandon replied avoiding the other question.
"Well you can do better than this girl.." She replied before taking her notepad out to write our order down. I tried to ignore the fact that she just said he could do better.. We're not even dating. What's wrong with me that everyone wants better.. We ordered our food and the rude lady finally left.
"I'm sooo sorry about that. It's my ex's mom and I didn't wanna tell her that her whore daughter cheated on me the other day and don't listen to her because I'm 200% certain you'd or anyone for that matter, would be better than her daughter." Brandon let out in one breath. I couldn't help but laugh at him.
We made small talk until our food came. Some stuff I learned was that he has an older sister and a younger brother, a German Shepard dog named Rex, and he's allergic to strawberries.
My chocolate chip pancakes looked delicious. I'm so hungry too. I finished my pancakes in about 5 minutes. I thought I finished eating before Brandon but I didn't.
"Hungry?" He chuckled.
"Not anymore." I laughed. I noticed him look up at the tv behind me, his face fell.. "What's on tv?" I questioned him before turning around to look myself.
'One Direction's, Niall Horan admits to one of our sources that he's not sure if him and his long term girlfriend Autumn are a couple or not at the moment and that he doesn't have feelings for her anymore.' The lady on the gossip news channel read. No matter how much I pretend I'm okay, that's where I draw the line. He doesn't love me anymore? That's been my worst nightmare since day 1 with him. He promised me.. He promised he couldn't stop loving me if he tried.. He f**king lied.
"Can we go?" I asked turning back around to Brandon who was already up and had his keys in his hand. He could tell by the look on my face and almost tears that I was upset. He truly Is a great friend. We walked back out to his car and he started driving.
"Are you okay?" He asked me grabbing my hand and holding it tightly, not in a relationship kind of way, just to show he cared.
"No, but I will be."
We pulled up to my house and I thanked him.
"Call me if you need anything or someone to talk to." He called to me and I nodded with a smile. Why couldn't I have met him a long time ago.
I walked inside and sat down on the couch. I think it's time for me to call Niall and unleash my fury on him. They should be on the bus but hey you never know, he may be in some random girls bed. I took my phone out and dialed his number. It rang for awhile but he answered.
"H-Hello?" He groaned into the phone obviously hung over.
"We need to talk. Right now." My sadness turned to anger right away.
"I know.." He sighed.
"Look, I'm sorry for saying that happened with me and Justin because it didn't. He tried and tried but I wouldn't let him. I only said it because I was angry." I was gonna start off by yelling at him but hearing his voice pushed me against that idea. He was silent. "I wish you would've told me that you didn't love me awhile ago so that It didn't waste half my life on you." I gritted through my teeth.
"You saw the news story.." He sighed, once again.
"All I can do is apologize because there's absolutely nothing I can do to make you feel the same way as I do." I cried. I couldn't help it. When you've loved someone for so long and you finally reach the point where you thought you knew they loved you back and they don't. It's the worst feeling.
"I'm sorry.." He whispered.
"Lets just make this easier on both of us. This is our last goodbye because It can't be bad when we both know we won't say hello again."
"We're never gonna see each other again?" Niall asked, sadly almost.
"Never. I'll delete your contact and get a new number and address. Just please tell the other guys that I love them.. Please. I won't be seeing them again either." I cried out, the tears can't stay in forever.
"Just know Niall, that I don't regret you or wish I hadn't met you, because once upon a time, You were exactly what I needed. Bye Niall." With that I hung up feeling even more empty than I have ever before. I feel as if I have nothing. I love Niall more than anything and now I have to just forget about him.. It's so hard when he's given me so much to remember.
"Autumn, wait!" I yelled into the phone but she already hung up. She's gone.. I lost her, again. This is what I wanted right? No.. It can't be. If it was I wouldn't feel as if I have nothing to live for. I wouldn't feel like my heart wasn't just broken, but tore into several tiny pieces.
"I need to leave! I need off this f**king bus and a plane ticket home now!" I yelled.
"You can't leave Niall.. If you are you have to wait until next week when you have a 2 day break.." Paul said to me. I just dropped to my knees and cried my eyes out.
"I let her go Paul! I let her go.. I'm never gonna see or talk to h-her a-again." I cried out slurring my speech from not being able to breathe. "I f**k everything up! If I would've just shut up about Amy and not made it a competition to see who could make the other one feel worse, then maybe I'd still have her!" I yelled punching a hole in the wall and knocking everything onto the ground leaving a huge mess. I went to break something else but Paul held me down. My anger then turned to sadness and I was crying again.