I woke up today feeling... Happy? I don't know what it was but I liked feeling this way. I skipped to my bathroom and jumped into the shower. I washed my body and sung the song 'Butterfly' by Alicia Keys. I poured the vanilla scented shampoo in my hands. I start to rub the lather in my hair.
"You give me butterflies .
Got me flying so high in the sky.
Ohhhh you give me butterflies." I sang as I scrubbed my hair.
Ever since Harry and I cuddled on my sofa, I've been in a good mood. I think it's because I finally let my guard down . I really like Harry... Scratch that. I'm practically head over heals for him. I just hope I won't regret giving him my all.
I jumped out of the shower and jogged to my bedroom. I took out a pair of matching red panties and bra (from Calvin Klein). I slipped on my undergarments and walked to my closet to pick out an outfit. Today was Friday so I wanted to wear something ... Casual yet sexy.
"Hmm. What to wear...what to wear?" I thought aloud.
I settled with a pair of leather high waist shorts and a tight white tank top with my black combat boots . I put my hair in a high pony tail letting my crazy black curls fall willingly in the pony tail . I put on some of my Gucci perfume that I bought myself and headed for the kitchen.
I put two pop tarts in the toaster while I poured myself a glass of milk. I sat quietly as I ate my breakfast. When I was down I grabbed my keys, phone and book bag before leaving.
I parked my car in my usual spot. I stepped out of the car and made my way to Niall .
"Hey Nialler." I said smiling. He turned around to face me. A gigantic smile played on his lips.
"Skaiiiii!" He yelled embracing me in a hug. I giggled at his cuteness. I looked around the people he was with. Beth, Liam , Zayn , Louis , and the two girls I saw them with the other day were all smiling at me . I smiled back .
"Well hello there stranger." Said Zayn.
"Hi guyyyysss ." I said over exaggerating the 'ii' in 'guys'.
"Hey." They all said still smiling.
"Someone's in a good mood huh?" Asked Liam.
"Yeah ." I said looking down smiling like an idiot .
"I bet it has something to do with Harry, huh?" Louis said smirking. My smile instantly fell . Even though Harry was the cause of my sudden mood change, doesn't mean everyone could tease me about it. I don't like being teased or laughed at.. Wether it was just fun or not ,I hated it. I was bullied before and I hate how people found humor in other's lives .
"Even if he was the cause of my sudden mood change, what will you care? 'Cause last time I checked its none of your business." I said to Louis . He raised his hands up in defense. I rolled my eyes and focused on the others around me.
"Louis leave her alone." Said the pretty brunette . "Hi I'm Eleanor ."she held out her hand. I shook it and smiled at her.
"Skailar." I said smiling . Louis put his arm over her shoulder and kissed her cheek.
"Eleanor is my girlfriend ." Louis said.
"And Perrie is mine." Said Zayn referring to the pretty blonde.
"Hi nice to meet you ." Perrie said.
"Same ." I said smiling.
"Skai, we're throwing a party later-on, everyone's going ... If you want to come..?" Said Perrie.
"Umm yeah sure." I said.
"Yayyy !" Now we can all be besties." Said Beth. Everyone started laughing. I stopped laughing once I saw Harry step out his car followed by ... Chloe.
Is he fucking kidding me? I was willing to give him my all and he just blows me off for ... Her? She practically throws herself at him all the time. He claims I'm 'his' . But he's clearly not ready to be mine... And as for her she's supposed to be my friend and she knows that Harry and I have been talking. My stomach flipped, my heart dropped and I instantly felt sick... I felt my eyes start to throb. Most of all I was feeling... Hurt. I had to leave before this ends bad.
"Hey guys ." Harry yelled coming over to us followed by Chloe . I felt like all eyes were on me ...watching my heart break with every step that they took...watching my face for any emotion what so ever.. But the only emotional reaction they were getting from me was anger. I was angry . For what? Chloe and Harry , together , walking , smiling. Perrie and Eleanor being so pretty . And at Niall for just being ... Well Niall . I felt my heart throb even more as they were standing in front of me.
"Hey Skai ." Chloe said. I ignored her. I wasn't gonna say something out of anger and regret it later .
"Skai?" Harry asked looking at me. I looked at his face . He looked guilty. Good. I want him to feel the pain he's bringing to me.
"I have to get to class. Bye ." I said walking away. I really didn't want to stay there. I thought I was gonna cry. I brushed off those feelings and entered the school building.
It was fifth period. I had literature with Niall and Harry . Great... After the events of earlier I'm sure this class will be just lovely. Note the sarcasm.
I walked into the classroom. Niall was already in his seat and so was Harry. I took my seat next to Niall and waited for the teacher to start.
The bell just rung indicating class started. Our teacher, Ms. Borden stood up and wrote something on the board before turning to the class.
"Good afternoon students ." The middle aged woman said."Today I want you guys to do me a favor- throw your literature textbooks off your desk." She started. Everyone obeyed and threw their textbooks on the floor." Okay so you did that because..." Someone raised their hand. "Mr. Davis ." She said .
"We just threw those stupid textbooks on the floor because they're shitty. " Said a boy named Cole.
"No Mr. Davis... That is not the reason I was looking for. The reason we threw our textbooks on the floor is because they are our rules... Our boundaries for what the board of Ed wants us to learn. So today we are breaking our boundaries . We will be doing that by playing a game . So instead of sitting down on your lazy asses while I recite a quote from your shitty text books and bore you to death, we are gonna play a game that has to do about what words mean to you. So everyone stand up , move your desk and form a circle in the middle of class." She spoke. Once again everyone obeyed. We formed a huge circle in the middle of class. Niall was standing beside me and Harry was standing across from me .
"So what I'm going to do is throw a beanbag to someone and ask them what a word of feeling means to them. Okay? Okay ... So Niall heads up." Said Mrs. Borden as she tossed the beanbag to Niall . "What does the word 'happy' means to you?" She asked.
"Umm .. 'Happy' means to catch yourself smiling for no apparent reason ... To find joy in everything you do." Said Niall . He looked absolutely adorable , like a puppy.
"Nice response ." Said Ms.Borden. "Heads up Skai ." She said as she tossed me the bean bag. I caught it and waited for the word she gave me.
"What does 'Pain' mean to you ." She asked. Wow ....
"Pain is when your hurting, mentally and physically . When you feel like you've been let down and hurt so much that you become immune to all the hurt that is being thrown at you that all you feel is nothing... But a painful nothing . Pain is when you feel an emptiness inside and can't help but feel worthless all the time. Pain is when you hate yourself for everyone's else's problems including your own. Pain is when the scars on your arms have been there for years and no one noticed. Pain is when you first press the razor to your skin. Pain is when you've been let down for the first time by the person you adore. And that's all I really got to say... I'm sure you all get the point." I said . Everyone was speechless even Ms.Borden. I looked at Harry . He face was.. Sad ? He looked me in the eyes and mouthed 'sorry'.
The rest of the time in class flew by. The end if the day came soon after . I walked to my locker to get my stuff. I texted Carla and told her to meet me at my house and that we were going out tonight .
I looked up from my phone and saw Harry standing there smiling.
"Me, you party tonight." He said.
"No. I'm already going to a party with my friend Carla ." I said not making eye contact with him .
"So since we're all going to the same party ,then we can meet there ." He said lifting my chin to look at him.
"Fine. Whatever ." I said .
"Skai is there something wrong ?" He asked.
"What's going on with you and Chloe ?" I blurted out looking him in the eyes. His face stiffened .
"She's my daily hook up." He said looking away from me.
"What do you mean?" I asked already knowing . I wanted my instincts to be wrong , but it was I who was wrong.
"Me and her are nothing serious ... We just fuck from time to time." He said in a low tone.
"She loves you doesn't she?" I asked. He looked at me with sad eyes and nodded. I was hurt ... I was falling in love with a player that my friend fucks and loves. I am a horrible person. I looked at Harry and shook my head in disappointment and tried to walk away from him.
"Skai you can't possibly be mad at me!" He yelled at me grabbing my wrists so I couldn't leave.
"Are you kidding me Harry ! You fuck everything that walks ... But if I talk to another guy you get mad. You tell me I'm 'yours' but your clearly not ready to be 'mine'. What the fuck Harry, we're not even dating ! What makes you think you can claim me like I'm an object ? What makes you think I want you huh? What makes you think you haven't hurt me enough? You flirt with everybody and then expect me to wait for you ! Well I'll tell you something 'babe', I'm done ! I quit!" I yelled in his face as my eyes started to water.
He was speechless ..after about two minutes he replied. "Your mine ... Wether you like it or not ! And if you leave me you'll pay... Do you understand me?" He hissed in my ear as he pulled me into a hug.
"Goodbye Harry ." I said as I pulled away from him. I was about to walk out the door when I heard Harry yell : "You know you love me ." See that was the problem... I didn't nor do I love Harry ... Because I'm falling in love with him...