I climbed out of bed with a splitting headache. Now I regret spending my whole night crying over him. Him... A name that shall not be mentioned.
I made my way to the bathroom. I stripped off my clothing and took a look in the full body mirror. Wow... I'm pathetic. If you look hard enough and close enough you could see all of my healed scars. Cutting scars. They lay on my hips and wrists. How could he miss them?
I turned on the shower. I stepped in and let the hot water cascade down my body. I started to hum a tune my mom used to sing to me.
"There is no upper hand,
I'm giving you mine.
This doesn't have to end up wasting your time.
There's things that I could say.
But here in my own way,
I'm gonna let you know it will all be okay."
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me.
Opening my closet and looking for something to wear is the worst. I sighed walking into the spacy closet.
I settled with a black Rolling Stones t-shirt and black skinny jeans. I slipped on my black timberland boots and pulled my curls into a sloppy bun. Time to enter hell.
I locked my car and slung my school bag over my shoulder. I slowly walked into the dull building.
People were staring at me and whispering. To me, this was normal. They always did shit like this. But today was different. They weren't snickering or giggling like they did when I would walk in with Harry. Today, they were just staring at me with pity in their eyes. Some of the girls even shook their heads as I walked past them. Even Chloe. I haven't spoken to her in a month. And I didn't want to. But today she looked like she had something important to say.
I walked to my locker and grabbed my binder. I looked to my side to see Chloe next to me with tears brimming her eyes. I closed my locker and hugged her.
"What's wrong, Chloe?" I asked. She hugged me tighter and started to sniffle.
"I'm so sorry." She cried onto my shoulder.
"For what?" I asked rubbing her back.
"I shoulda- I shoulda told you. I tried to warn you. But h-he said he'd never speak to me again. This is all of my fault." She cried out even more.
"What are you talking about?" I tried to push her off a little but she clung onto me tighter.
"H-Harry." She sniffled. "He used you only for sex. Your part of this sick fucking game he plays with females." She mumbled.
"What!" I said pushing her off of me. She pulled herself together and started to explain.
"He- Um- He has this game. It's when he meets a girl-that's a virgin- and he does anything just to take her virginity. And after he gets what he wants, he doesn't bother with them anymore. You were part of the game. And since you had sex with him-" I cut her off.
"How do you even know we had sex?!?" I asked.
"Everyone knows. Even Beth. Everyone knows about his game. And since you came in today, alone, we all know that he won..." She trailed off.
"Won? So fucking with my emotions is a game to him? And everybody in this whole fucking school knew, yet not one of ya mother fuckers bothered to even tell me?!?" I yelled at her. She looked at her feet and wiped a tear from her eye.
"Sorry?!? No we're way past fucking sorry! You knew and you let it happen! You could've saved me from making the worst mistake of my life!" I yelled again pushing past her and the crowd of people staring at us.
I turned back around and stood right in front of Chloe.
"You know what... I'm sorry. I'm sorry that your a selfish bitch that only cares about herself. And I'm sorry that our friendship is completely over." And with that I walked away.
It was lunch time. I couldn't focus in any of my classes. My mind kept going back to this game. This fucking game! How could he? Why would he do this to me? He lied. About everything. This couldn't be happening to me.... He said he loved me... That has to mean something, right?
I ran out of the building. I had to find him. I have to know if what we had was real or not. I have to know if I was just a game to him.
I saw Niall, along with Carla, Beth, Liam, Louis, and Zayn. I approached them.
"Hey Skai." Zayn said standing up. I pushed him back down.
"You fucking knew!" I yelled in their faces. Carla was the only one that looked confused.
"Skai let us explain-" Louis said. I ignored him and slapped Beth in the face. She held her cheek and tried to speak.
"Shut the fuck up! You all knew! You were supposed to be my best friend! But you played me out for them!" I yelled at Beth.
"I'm sorry." She yelled back still holding her cheek.
"Sorry? Why is everyone sorry? Don't feel pity for me! I was stupid enough to believe you guys are my friends." I said.
"What's going on?" Carla asked.
"Ask your new so called friends." I said and walked away. I heard everyone calling me back. But I ignored them until I heard Zayn yell something.
"There's nothing we could've done! He never loses! Don't go looking for him, because he's not alone!"
I didn't care I was going to find him.
I felt the tears stream down my face. How could he just hurt me and not care? And to make matters worse, he wasn't alone. He was with Meghan.
I just stared at the two of them. They were laying on the football field together. Hands intertwined and wide grins played on both of their faces. They could almost pass as a couple. A happy couple.
As I started to approach them my heart ached more and more. I felt my knees go weak. I felt like nothing. I finally made it to them. Harry noticed me and stood up. I pushed him back on the ground.
"Why?" I yelled. The tears were now falling freely from my eyes.
"Skai-" Harry said trying to stand back up. I pushed him down again.
"Shut up! How could you? You lied to me. You played me!" I cried.
"Skai-" I cut him off.
"No! Shut up! I actually thought you cared! Why would you so this to me? This whole time I was just a game to you?" I yelled at him. He just looked down. "What, are you dumb? Speak! Why me? Why do you do this?" I yelled again.
"That's how the game goes." He said through clenched teeth.
"Your fucking sick! Do you know that? I actually cared about you. I loved you.... But you didn't feel the same... You hurt me!" I said. He didn't reply. He just stood up and dusted himself off.
"Fucking say something!" I yelled as I pushed him again. He didn't fall this time. He just stood there with a blank expression.
"Say what? What the fuck do you want me to say?" He screamed in my face grabbing my wrists.
"Say it's not true." I whispered. More hot tears fell from my eyes. Harry let go of my wrists and stepped back.
"I can't do that, love." He said.
"Why not." I cried softly.
"Because it is. I never loved you. Hell I don't even like you. I got what I wanted. Now leave me alone you psychotic bitch." He said grabbing Meghan's hand and intertwining their hands. I felt my heart shatter.
"How could you be so evil? I hate you Styles." I whispered as I brushed past him and his bimbo.
I got in the car and drove home. After everything that just happened, I still don't understand what made me trust him or them. How could people be so heartless? From today on, I TRUST NO ONE.