UP ALL NIGHT
Final Goodbye: The Final Breath
The boys all loved [Y/N] as a sister-me a bit more so. How could I not? I had fallen so hard and so fast. Mysterious and dark, hidden and guarded. So enticing I fell head over heels; Heart over mind.
Right now the boys and I were out at a concert, we had been at a signing all day until now. I was desperate to call her and talk to her, I missed her like no other. Since I was a pop star though, I would have to wait.
Halfway through the fifth song I spun about to see Paul, waving frantically to get my attention. I furrowed my eyebrows, still singing as I jogged over briskly.
“What is it Paul?” I inquired, my voice loud enough for him to hear, the microphone behind my back so it wouldn’t broadcast our conversation.
He looked panicked, his eyes glancing everywhere and breath quick and short, causing me to worry more. His voice urgent as he spoke “We have to cut the concert short!”
This only confused me further. “What? Why? Paul, you’re not making any sense!”
He ran a hand over his declining hairline before he spoke again, voice only growing in intensity. “Zayn! [Y/N] was in an accident! Just shut up and cut the concert off!”
My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat, along with a lump the size of my heart; which felt hollow and as if it were sinking to the floorboards.
Paul groaned and ripped my microphone out of my hand, rushing forth on to the stage and putting it to his lips as he screamed over the hoards of girls.
“I’m sorry but there is an emergency and this concert has to be ended now. We will reschedule it for a later date.”
He dropped the microphone and rounded up the lads, pushing them back stage with little to no effort. They went willing, obviously extremely worried about this so called ‘emergency.’
I just stood there, frozen with shock and fear. All senses gone, this staggering wave of terror washed over me, overcame the movement of my feet. Before I could react the boys swift movements rapidly dragged me out of the emptying building and into the sweltering heat of the night.
We drove, excessively over the speed limit, to get to the airport. When we arrived it was as if my mind kicked into gear, I practically flew out of the extra large minivan. I raced up to the terminal buying eight tickets home. Five for me and the boys, one for Paul, and two for Keith and Preston, our security guards.
I was nervous and fidgety the whole flight, I’m pretty sure I aggravated the majority of the flight, probably the staff as well. I couldn’t help it though, my everything was hurt! I don’t even know what by.
When we arrived I bolted off the plane, the boys hot on my racing heels. It felt as if there was fire in my veins, a burning sensation that I couldn’t shake, I almost didn’t want to due to the fact that it was powering every muscle and cell in my body to move faster and faster. My will power was shaking because all I wanted to do was go to sleep and wake up from this nightmare, but I knew it was reality and I hated every blasted second of it.
We rushed to the hospital, Paul clearly running on steam, to tired to even hold his head up, yet he did. Knowing we all had to stay awake and as calm as possible. I, of course, was not even relatively calm, I was on the brink of crazy.
We pulled in and I slowed my pace, walking behind Paul and chewed my lip anxiously. He found her room, but instead of leading us to her hospital room he led us to the waiting area.
“Listen… She was badly injured in a massive car wreck. She hit a pole when she swerved to avoid a drunk driver who was weaving her way through traffic. It was a three car pile up, she was on the bottom….” Paul informed us sullenly.
I knew the boys were worried and they had a right to be, but it felt as if my whole world was crashing down. Crumbling at my feet. I felt lightheaded and dizzy as I processed his fear-ridden words. I’m pretty sure I would have passed out, or thrown up at the least, if it hadn’t been for the fact that some small voice in the back of my mind reminded me that I had to be strong for my girl.
I nodded gravely before making my voice as strong as I could, my face a mask of emotionless features. “Take me to her room. Now Paul.”
He didn’t argue, he didn’t even try. He just led us down a long corridor, straight into the ICU. I tightened my fists around the hem of my clingy white t-shirt, my jaw clenching against my watering eyes. We walked into the vast room, instantly I saw her body.
She was attached to many tubes and wires, her face drawn and dropping, eyes sunk in and her whole body as white as the crisp sheets she laid upon. All the boys gasped at her disfigurement, me I just walked forward and picked up her frail hand in my own, kissing it softly.
Paul stepped out after an hour to talk to the doctor, [Y/N] had been awake for awhile but she wasn’t truly talking. They were weak and raspy whispers, if she could even manage that. We all kept telling her how much she meant to us and how she would be okay.
Nervously I turned to Paul when he cleared his throat, his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes full of lost hope and sadness, maybe even a hint of pity.
“Boys…” He started off in a low whisper, his voice far to quiet for my liking. “S-she… She’s not going to make it…” He stuttered out the rest, taking in all our faces. The boys almost started crying immediately, I say there in shock again.
Only this time, it wasn’t just shock, it felt as if every part of my body was tearing, shredding. I was dying from the inside out…much like my love. I couldn’t handle this, I needed to get out of here, but I couldn’t, so I stayed.
Later that evening [Y/N] made us all gather around, telling each of us how much she loved us and the sort. She saved me for last, the words thick as fat tears rolled their way down her trembling cheeks.
“Zaynie, I love you and you know that. I have always loved you, I will never love anyone else. But, when I move on, to a different world, I need you to move on as well, move on from me. Don’t start back talking me and telling me that’s impossible, please just do it for me. Please.”
All I could do was nod, tears falling down my face and hitting the raggedy blanket covering her fragile body. She lifted one delicate hand and flicked away a tear, wiping the track off with the pad of her thumb gently.
We all whisper another ‘love you’, but my breath caught s as she wheezed. Her breathing has been labored since we arrived, but now it seemed all air in her lungs was making its final exit. As she took her final breath she smiled and whispered “I love you boys….” Her eyes slipped shut along with all hope I had.
It had been months since I had lost her. Each day was harder than the last, the pain wracking my body repeatedly. I smoked a lot more now, I drank a lot as well. It was my escape for the pain, but it didn’t work. She was always right there in the back of my mind, I could see her, hear her, feel her every where I went.
It was all becoming too much…I couldn’t handle not seeing her. The boys tried to pull me out of this zombie-like state and bring some of the ‘old’ Zayn back. It didn’t work.
One day I was alone as usual, half witted and drunk. Out of cigarettes and staring at a picture of the night of me and [Y/N]s’ third date. Suddenly something clicked in me, or more of snapped.
I stood up, my mind now set on what I was going to do. I walked over to the large balcony, onto the terrace. I looked out over the beautiful city of London, it still hadn’t looked the same since she passed.
I smiled, knowing I’d see her soon. I stepped onto the ledge and the wind rustled my hair and ratty bathrobe. I whispered the words as I fell back
"Goodbye." I grinned, knowing it wouldn’t be long until I was with her again.
A/N: Sorry if this is to sad for your liking.. I was really sad that day and parts of this popped into my head.. The idea emerged as sad due to my mood, but I like it and am proud of this imagine. Sorry if this is a trigger, I am not sure if it is…. Feedback would be appreciated. :)