It's been a few hours since my break down. I was too afraid to log on to Twitter or to go out. What do they think about me now?, they think I'm a freak.
I burry my head into my pillow. This is probably on the news everywhere by now.
I can feel myself blush.
I was about to put my earphones in but there was a knock on the door.
I groan and slowly open the door. Liam.
"oh uh hi" I say awkwardly, "can I come in?" he asks. My heart skips a beat. oh no.
"sure" I smile and he walks in.
I close my door and sit awkwardly next to him on the couch.
after a few seconds of silence he asks, "what happened?".
"I was just stressed...you know with the XFactor and all"
he studies my face and he knows I'm lying.
"are you sure?"
"you know you can tell me, right?"
"I guess" part of me just wanted to let it all out but I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.
"I know you have an eating disorder"
my heart beats faster. "h-how?" I stutter.
"I've known people with it and I know the signs"
he scoots over and pulls me into his chest.
too shocked to say anything I hug back tightly.
"what are they saying about me?" I whisper, still attached to him.
"nothing, you'll be fine"
I let go of him and grab my phone: 'Harper's breakdown' is all over Twitter. I decided to read one:
Harper arrived at a fancy hotel with the guys of One Direction, the girls of Little Mix, and xFactor Jason. It seems like Harper was a little stressed!. 30 minutes later Harper runs out of the hotel in anger and pain!, wonder what happened in there, fight maybe?, slow down Harp!. Leave your comments of what YOU think happened!.
I read some comments:
she fought with Jason.
she fought with Liam.
not one mentioned me having an eating disorder, which is a good thing.
I wasn't afraid of the internet anymore so I logged onto Twitter.
Harper feel well soon :) Xx.
I hope you're okay.
not as bad as I thought.
"would you like to talk about it?" Liam breaks my thoughts.
I feel uncomfortable talking about this. "some people are just afraid of not fitting in, I didn't have friends because I was a fat kid so I thought that I needed to be thin to fit in... I was different and I didn't like it so I starved and purged. One day I was too sad to be here..so I... tried to end my life..." I took my bracelets off and showed him long visible scars on my wrist.
"I tried overdose too...I wear bracelets to cover my scars because I'm ashamed" I quickly put on my bracelets again.
it felt kind of good to let it out.
he stared at me, probably unsure of what to feel about this.
"I'm sorry" he made eye contact with me.
I felt butterflies in my stomach and I found myself leaning towards him.
he put his hand behind my head and I scooted closer to him.
his lips pressed against mine softly.
fireworks went off in my head.
"you don't deserve this" he mumbled against my lips.
I put my hand on his chest. his lips were soft.
"Hey Harp-" the door swung open and I gasp.
"oh...sorry" Jason forced a smile, his eyes were disappointed.
"um hey" I say. He nods and closes the door again.
I look at Liam and he frowns, "I think he likes you" he says in a low voice.
I wasn't sure of how to respond.
"I'll see you later Harp" Liam kisses my forehead and leaves.
that night I kept thinking about the kiss, I smile to myself but then my thoughts go to Jason, he looked so disappointed and sad, maybe he did like me.
I decided to text him:
Hey Jason, how are you?
no you're not, I'm sorry.
it's not your fault.
I wasn't sure of what else to tell him.
you're my best friend, I love you for that, I tell him.
I love you too, goodnight Harper.
I wake up to a text message from Liam : WAKE UP SLEEPING BEAUTY.
I groan and get out of bed, I got an interview today.
"IN FIVE...4...3...2...1 ACTION"
"Hello everyone! and welcome back to Celebrities Today, today we have a special guest.. she's beautiful and she's smart! Harper Jones!"
I hear people whistling and clapping from outside and I walk out with a huge smile on my face, I wave at the crowd and shake hands with Anna.
I take a seat on the couch, "how are you today?" she asks.
"I'm great except the fact I had to get up early today, and you?" people laugh.
"I'm great too because you're here"
"today you will be answering questions from fans, shall we start?"
"first question: what was the last message you got and from who?"
I blush, "it was from Liam-"
"Liam Payne? from One Direction?"
"yes-" people whistle again.
"he said WAKE UP SLEEPING BEAUTY" I laugh.
people awe from the crowd.
"so is there something going on between you two" she raises an eyebrow.
"NO, we're just close friends!"
"mhm, I believe you"
"alright second question: what happened when you broke down?" my smile faded.
"well... you know stress"
"makes sense, third question: would you rather date Jason or Liam?"
"that's a weird question! pretty mean" I scrunch up my nose.
"what is your opinion on the ships they're giving you?"
"who do they ship me with?"
"Liam, Jason, and some even Simon" my eyes widen and the crowd laughs.
"well they can ship me with whoever they want, it doesn't really matter... one time after taking a picture with a fan she said 'KISS JASON' he was standing next to me and I just laughed and said no"
"where do you see your self in six years?"
"making music and making people smile"
"what is your favorite quote?"
"Live as an original, not a copy...because we all like everything that is original and get bored with copies."
"very inspiring...what's your opinion on bullying?"
"it gets me angry... people just don't get how bullying affects on people, parents get mad because we cry over words and they say that words don't mean a thing but honestly words affect our mind and life. People make fun of the ones who commit suicide because they're 'looking for attention' when in reality they get overwhelmed of their feelings and they want to be free... just like an earthquake."