I will love you till the end of time
-Lana Del Rey
I shuffle my feet towards the humble cafe shop where Jill told me to go.
'BEEEEEEP!' Jill skids on the road and appears in front of me.
I go towards the pink and blue bus, my face blank. Jill looks at me, a nervous smile across her face. "Hi Horizon," She seems a bit to cheery. "Why did you leave school?" I shrug my slumped shoulders.
"Felt like it."
Jill sighs, tired and obviously annoyed. "I know you were with Myles. I told you he's a bad influence. I don't want you to be with him."
"What? You're kidding right?"
"Sorry, Hori," I flinch at that nickname. "I had to."
"I can't believe you would do this to me! How can you be so..." I stop, unable to finish the sentence. I turn away from her glowing eyes. Jill is turning judgemental once again.
Horizon, Horizon." She moves my face towards her. "I said look at me. Why do I even bother when you don't listen?"
"BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!" I shout, pushing her away from me. "You're not my mom and you will NEVER be anything to me." I say, getting all throaty at the end.
Jill looks at me as if I'm a wounded animal. I hate that look. "I have to. You made me do this. I was going to consider... I'll tell you afterwards." I sneer at this, She will always be scared of me.
"Horizon!" A five year old girl with curly, black hair hugs me tight. "Guess what?"
"What's wrong? You look so happy!"
Suddenly, Jill puts her cold hands on Casey's mouth. "It's nothing don't worry. Casey," Casey looks up, chin raised so high the heavens could touch it. "You can watch Frozen on the tv now."
"Oh yay!" Casey skips to the living room.
Jill swivels on her heels (black and gold stilettos) and marches to the office. "Come along Hori." I roll my eyes at this, and mockingly copy her. Jim (the exact same copy as her with greasy blonde hair, long nose and yellow teeth, I could go on but they have too much faults for me to point out) sat on his desk. Jill coughs.
Jim suddenly looks at me as if I was the tax collector dude. His face was suddenly painted with sadness and fear. I just looked back at him with an emotionless expression on my face.
"Sit down." He said in such a simple tone. I gingerly sat down, scared but as usual I didn't show it. "Horizon, you DO know that we care for your safety and your future, right?" I nod slowly. "And we want you to happy. The thing is..."
What is he on about? Sorry if you Americans don't use that phrase, I AM English.
"Your current school is horrible, considering the fact that people DIE there and remember we care for your safety."
Anger boils inside me, burning every bit of my happiness and humanity. Nerves start sticking out of my red skin. My eyes resemble fire. I tightly hold my right hand which shakes uncontrollably.
"Horizon, please calm down. It's going to be alright."
"WHAT?" The twins flinch at me. "I AM NOT GOING TO, I'M NOT!" Tears form in my eyes. I'm not going to cry. I'm not.
"Horizon," Jim says with authority in his voice. "Please, sit down "
I'm standing up suddenly. I throw the chair on the floor. I storm out the room. "Horizon!" Jill shrieks from the small office. I hesitate in the middle of the hall, confused. Jill gets out and loss at me. "It's ok."
I look at her in disgust. Ok? My life is everything but ok and it will always be like this. My life is a puzzle with pieces in the bin. It will never be ok.
Casey turns the volume high, listening to Let It Go. It haunts me. I run up stairs, into my small room. I lock it, making sure I don't see the world's ugly face. I go to a dark corner, my skinny knees touching my eyelids.
"Myles," I whisper softly, repeating it like a scratched, 50's solemn song. "Oh Myles, Myles, Myles. I love you, I love you so much. I will always love you."