A/N: I'm sorry I haven't updating in a long time, but I'm trying to make my chapters longer and have more about the characters, so here you guys go, if you're reading and sticking with me through this story, thank you. You guys are the reason I write!
I walked out of the store with Amara and back into the shopping area, the fans had gathered outside the store and Paul wasn’t here yet. As soon as they saw me screams erupted from the mob of girls and I felt Amara’s hand tense up. They began grabbing at me and her clothes, and before long she was away from me, pushed back to the outskirts of the crowd. Now the paps were here too, I can’t see Amara anymore, where did she go?
I screamed out towards the crowd, “Stop! Where is she?” they all turned to look at me, the fans had gone silent, stepping back they made a half pathway to Amara who had her hands over her ears with her eyes shut. I walked over to her and took her in my arms letting her head fall into my chest so she wasn’t looking at any of them. I looked around to see the fans standing in awe, and the paps snapping pictures and taking videos, I shook my head. How could everything get so hectic around me? How did I let this happen to her?
Paul came up to me and they formed another circle around us as they’d done earlier in the day, but the fans didn’t get nearly as close to us as before. Paul looked at me when we got to the cars, “What happened mate?” he gestured to Amara whose head had been down this whole time. “We got out of the store and were walking together when the fans came over, I tried to keep Amara next to me but she got lost in the outskirts of the crowd, but as the mob got bigger I knew that she was in some of the worst part just as I was so I yelled at them to stop and asked where she was. They moved for me and stayed quiet as I pulled her to me, then you got here… I don’t know what is getting into everyone, first Michael in 5 Seconds of Summer, now this?” shaking my head I put Amara in the car and gave her my big puffy coat to put around her shoulders.
I stepped away from her and Paul pulled me aside, “You can’t yell at fans like that Harry, you know better than that. I know you care about her but you’re making a very sticky situation for yourself, you understand that we most likely won't be able to help some of the repercussions of your actions this time.”
I knew that Paul was right, this wasn’t a fun mess to clean up, I don’t know what came over me when I couldn’t see her anymore, I’ve never reacted like that in front of fans before, let alone anyone. I shook my head, my love was for Lizzy only, and I couldn’t give my love to anyone else. Not while she was so sick. I need to make space between Amara and me for a while, spend some time with the other girls, or even more time with Lizzy.
Harry walked back over to me after getting pulled over by Paul. What just happened must have been one of the scariest experiences I’ve ever had; I don’t understand how the boys can deal with that. But giving the fans the benefit of the doubt they probably don’t get like that too often if Harry could handle that until he couldn’t see me. He opened the door for me when we got back to the house, I wanted to run to my room and leave him behind in the dust but of course I couldn’t get to me room with his help. Sighing rather loudly I stood at the door waiting for Harry to come up and take me back to my room. He saw my agitation and put his hand under my chin gingerly lifting my head so that I could look into his eyes, “I’m sorry about today, they aren’t usually like that I swear, I know you don’t like being walked around places like you need a guard dog every five seconds so I’m giving you free passes out to the garden and the pool from now on. Okay?” he was really sorry about everything I could tell by the way he spoke. I nodded and stepped away from him as he opened the door for me and walked me back to my room. Grabbing the ‘map’ that sat on my night stand I changed quickly into my bath suit and stepped out of my room, by myself for the first time. Walking two steps down the hall Kate and Beth greeted me and asked where I was going, but looking at what I was wearing they knew. Beth and Kate went back into their rooms and changed, but I told them I’d meet them down at the pool so that I could get some peace and quiet which is what I’ve been wanting this whole time.
Stepping out on the concrete that was measured around the pool I set my towel and the map down on my seat and walked over to the deepest part of the pool. Next I pulled my hair down from the ponytail that I was debating wearing while I swam, hearing Beth’s voice from a little ways down the hall I dived into the pool and I am greetedby the familiar feel of the crisp water hitting my skin. Truthfully I loved swimming, although when my family and I went we never stayed long and it was only a few times, I knew that I was a fish. Whenever there was a hard day, or I was sad I’d imagine myself swimming in some tropical place, usually with fish of million different colors. Surfacing the water I saw Beth and Kate standing in the shallow end of the water. The lights all around the pool had been lit up, and light bulbs hung from invisible wires above the pool and the lights inside the pool were a bright aquamarine color. Kate and I both started swimming towards each other but we noticed Beth getting out of the pool and grabbing one of the floating chairs that was between the pool and the door in a pile. She slowly put it into the pool and slipped on it without falling; next she made her way over to us and looked between me and Kate.
“So did you guys get your dresses yet?” it was just like her to bring that up. Kate nodded her head and so did I. “Well, tell me about them, but of course after I tell you about mine,” Kate laughed and crossed her arms over her chest while I giggled quickly. Beth had picked a long black dress with cutouts at the hips, on her chest and an opening in the shape of a ‘v’ at the bottom of the dress, and those cutouts are filled with lace. Kate decided she wanted to wear a white long-sleeved dress with lace detailing over it. For mine, I told them that Harry picked a long blue sparkly dress with an off the shoulder top, three quarter length sleeves and a cut on the sidethat ran up to the middle of my thigh. Then Beth began talking about a bunch of things that didn’t really interest me so I began thinking, now that I was able to go around the garden without Harry, my personal watchdog I could find a way out of here. I’ve got caught up in the glamor of this place and it was really distracting me from learning how I was going to get home.
I was looking out my window seeing Amara and her friends having fun when Liz came into my room, “what are you looking at baby?” she wrapped her arms around my waist from behind resting her head on my shoulder. I turned around to face her, kissing her lightly on the nose, “Nothing darling,” she put her hand on my jawbone rubbing my cheek lightly with her thumb.
“I know you like that girl sweetie, I might not be out and about in the house much but I do know what is going on, I saw you freak out with the fans too, you were all over Celebrity Feed last night, and you know that I love that show,” she laughed quickly before looking out at Amara and her friends, “What’s her name?”
“Her name is Amara,” I took my place behind Liz with my hands now around her waist.
“What’s so special about her?” I heard a hint of jealousy in Lizzy’s voice, it made me smile.
“She is nice, kind-hearted, she isn’t like everyone else, she likes some of the things that I do, she has a nice sense of humor and is very happy and light, but I think what really drew me to her at first was that she reminds me so much of you,” snuggling my head into Lizzy’s shoulder I looked out at them again, Beth was lounging while Kate and Amara were swimming laps, “you could always meet her?” I was joking of course, that probably wasn’t in Lizzy’s plans any time soon.
“That isn’t your worst idea Styles,” she turned to me and kissed me twice, quickly. My eyes widened, I didn’t think she would take to that idea, not as easily as she did, “yes, and while we are at it we should get some horses to live in the garden, it’s not like we don’t have tons of open spaces in the field, come to think about it we could get one for each of us, it’s not like we don’t have room!” again, I was joking, it just seemed like we were saying ridiculous things to each other.
“I love horses Harry! That’s a wonderful idea; you always knew that I’ve wanted a horse since I was little!” she was right, I did know that, I remember that on our first date I took her to a Petting Zoo so she could be with all the animals. I should have thought about that, I was mentally kicking myself. Now I have to get Amara to meet Lizzy, without her freaking out and I have to buy a shit ton of horses. Why do I have to fall so in love with people, Lizzy has me wrapped around her finger but I’m so in love with her that I don’t really give a damn, fuck me I’m such a softy.
Maybe I could take Amara and Lizzy to get the horses with me so they could bond and Amara could meet the real Lizzy, not the fragile sick girl who says inside her room mostly reading or writing. This was never going to work. Lizzy sat down in her large chair and I slowly drew myself away from the window and sat behind Lizzy with herbutt in my lap and her chest to my back. Running my fingers through her hair I waited until her breath became softer, and knowing she had fallen asleep I picked her up and carried her over to her bed. Lizzy’s wasn’t sick on the outside, it was the inside that was getting her, which she hid well by wearing baggy clothes, she was smaller than someone who is 21 is normally. I noticed when I picked her up that she was smaller than the last time I’d picked her up, and frankly it scared me because I pick her up quite often.
I stepped out of Lizzy’s room and walked into the kitchen grabbing a six-pack of beers, I wanted a quiet place to sit and think. Taking the elevator down and walking towards the pool I looked out seeing no one there. Grabbing one of the seats that were on the other side of the pool I sat, and opened one of my beers. Lizzy and I used to do this together, just come out with some beers and sit so we could look at the stars.
She had always talked about doing something with stars as a job one day, but we fell in love, I got famous, and she never really talked about it after that. When Lizzy and I were still in school she would come over some nightsand we’d sit on my roof just watching the stars, and when we had really lucky nights so that we could see the consultations she would challenge me to see if I could name them all correctly, of course I couldn’t but what I never told her is that I knew all of those silly little stars names, I just loved seeing her so passionate about something, which she wasn’t very often.
Sitting here with my six-pack of beers and the first real quiet I’ve had in a long time was just what I needed. Things have been really stressful lately, and I haven’t had enough time to myself or with Liz. I don’t want her to feel like I’m paying less attention to her because Amara is here. I’ve finished my three beers, I couldn’t finish the other three, I just wanted to go back up to Lizzy’s room and sleep next to her tonight. Picking the other three up in my arms I stumbled back towards the door and then, up to her room. As I opened the door she raised her head, and looked at my with her eyes almost closed, and then dipped her head back down so that she was again resting on the pillow. I slipped my jeans off as well as my shirt before curling up behind Elizabeth and pulled her close to my chest. She hummed a hello to me as she drifted off into a sleep again, that was much needed by both me and her.
Tonight is the night! Amara’s dress has been delivered this morning, I picked up her shoes and I have every bit of hair accessories, hair tools and make up that I could grab before the other helpers woke up. Missy is coming to meet me with Amara’s breakfast and then we can wake up Amara and tell her what’s going on today. Missy came clattering down the hallway with a large tray and some things to cover the food so it would stay warm. I chuckled as she almost fell when she saw me; I guess I must have scared her. That’s just classic.
I woke up to Ally and Missy standing at the foot of my bed, much like they did my first night here after being taken from everything I know and love. Sighing I turned over and tried going back to sleep, but I felt eyes on me, so I opened my eyes and there was Missy with her face close to mine, “Wakey wakey eggs and bakey” she had twokinds of eggs and three pieces of bacon.
“I’m not super hungry Missy, but thank you; it’s very sweet of you to do for me,” I honestly wasn’t hungry, I was nervous for the Grammy’s that were coming up.
Missy frowned at me, “well you need to eat because we are taking pretty much all day to get you ready for this. You need to eat breakfast, then go do whatever for an hour and a half so we can set everything up and make alterations on your dress, then come back, long shower, dry off, figure out what we are doing for your hair, try on your dress and make more alterations if we need to, then test out your heels so we are sure you can walk in them and that they don’t hurt your feet, then makeup, hair and last step into your dress and you’re done!” Ally sighed as Missy finished her list. I shook my head, today was going to be a busy day. In fact I probably need to get out ofmy head for a while.
“Because you decided not to eat breakfast today, we will come get you in an hour and a half so we can make alterations, but for now, go crazy and have fun and we will come get you when we are ready,” Missy said handing me a bag and showing me out the door. There I stood, in the hall by myself, with a bag of whatever Ally and Missy packed me. Time to go for a swim I guess. As I walked down to the garden I ran into Louis who was holding about 6 shopping bags. “Oh, hey Amara, what are you doing?” he asked trying to situate the bags so they sat on his arms more comfortably.
I giggled before replying, “No I was just heading out, but to be honest I don’t know where the other bathrooms are or even if there are bathrooms outside of other people’s rooms, I was just going to head down to the pool to see if there was one there, but I ran into you, so here we are”
“Oh, you can use my bathroom for a minute it’s totally fine!” he said passing me the keys to his room, “just follow me and you can be in and out in a jiffy!”
We walked into Louis and Eleanor’s room; I saw the bits of her and him in all the decorations and the pillows. They had a king sized bed with two large bedside tables on each side, a large couch, with a large television, long curtains, an extra-large closet, and a large bathroom. “This is a really nice room, Louis!” I said as I walked into the bathroom with my bag of clothes. He slid the door shut after saying a quick thank you. In the bag I found a sundress, a bikini, a sweater, sunglasses, the electronic map, a pair of leggings, and a few hair ties. I changed into my bikini, threw my backpack over my shoulder and my sweater over my arm, “Thank you for letting me use your bathroom Lou,” I said walking back into his room.
“It was no problem Amara,” he smirked turning around to face me. “Well… um… if you need anything… just ask…” he mumbled rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.
“I’m going to go now, but thanks again,” I waved back, and stepped out into the hallway, which was still empty and made my way over to the elevator. As I walked down the hall I realized I must have taken a wrong turn because I don’t remember these pictures on the wall. One of the doors was standing wide open, and beautiful sound was coming in from inside. Stepping into the room, I found large mirrors all around on the walls, a hardwood floor, three cabinets next to the door, rolling Barres, a couple speakers and a dock for your music player or phone, and a medium-sized piano where the music was coming from. Kate sat on the bench that is in front of the keyboard, playing the piano with ease. I didn’t want to disturb her so I back out of the room quickly and quietly, next I pulled out the electronic map to see how I was supposed to get to the pool from here, the map said I was on the 1st floor and was previously in the dance room. If I walked straight down the hallway where I stood I would end up outside of my room, and from there I know my way to the pool.
When I got outside to the pool I realized that it was overcast and not the best day to go swimming. Quickly I pulled my sweatshirt over my head and my leggings up so that I was wearing legitimate clothes that were meantfor this kind of weather. So I sat down on the pool side chairs for a minute looking at the beauty that surrounded me, and I have grasped that this house, is full of deception. They have all of these glamorous things to make you forget that you are trapped in here, I forgot, and I didn’t even know. I have had to put on a face about it and I didn’t even contemplate the fact that I wasn’t faking it anymore, I want to be here, I want to be caught up in the lights and cameras, I want to fall in love properly, although the circumstances that got me here are not the best.
I’ve come to understand that by however I got here today it is in retrospect this was a good thing. I’m getting to live the way I’ve always dreamed of, and Harry does seem to actually care for me, most of the people here are nice, and I’m sure that they all mean well. So maybe, just maybe I’m here for a reason, and that things are going this way for a reason. Maybe whatever is up there that has a higher power than your average human being, be it a person, like god or some sort of being that isn’t like anything we have ever known, has a plan for me, and this was my plan all along. I never realized it until now, but I think that is it.
I was snapped out of my thoughts as the rain hit the exposed skin on my arm. Tucking the map back into the bag I walked back inside of the house, which I guess I have to call my home. I need a jacket, I still want to walk around the garden, which I have not done yet, but I know that now probably isn’t the best time anyway. I’ll just head back to my room early, and see if I can help with anything.
“Ouch,” I heard someone muttered, looking up I saw an unfamiliar face in front of me.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going…” I replied looking her over. I don’t ever remember seeing her in the house before. She was wearing a sweatshirt and pair of shorts, her hair was blonde and a bit above her shoulders, she had on light makeup with promenade cheek bones, she almost looked a little too small for someone who is assumingly the same age as Harry.
“It’s fine sweetie, everyone bumps into something once in a while,” she chuckled, “oh, excuse me, my name is Elizabeth, and you are?”
“Amara, my name is Amara,” I answered, “I’ve heard a lot about you,” this was a very awkward conversation, possibly the most awkward one I’d ever had. She is Harry’s first love; she is also the girl that I happen to bereplacing after and if she doesn’t make it.
“I know who you are,” she admitted, “you’re next in line, come with me, we can go talk somewhere until you have to go get ready for the Grammy’s.”
For someone who I’ve never seen in this house she sure knows a lot about what is going on, which is a little weird, but I shrugged and followed her towards her room. I’m sure Harry tells her all about everything that goes on in here unless she knows on her own, which is weirder still. Getting on the elevator we got off on the second floor and walked into her room, which looked like mine but with more things and more closet space. “Your room is beautiful,” I stated glancing around at it all.
“Don’t you think so; Harry let me design it, along with you and the other’s room too. I have a bit of a knack for it, that and astronomy,” she beamed, “So you’re my replacement huh?” she looked me up and down again, “yeah I can see why,” Elizabeth observed, and crossed her arms over her chest.
“You seem to find this whole thing quite humorous,” I interjected, “You are sick, but yet you joke about things like this, it almost seems like a sick way to handle this all,” I was being honest, but perhaps brutally honest, which is one of my less admirable traits.
“I appreciate your honesty Amara, but the way I see it is there is nothing I can really do about the whole dying thing; and trust me Harry and I have tried, but I make the best of it and try to handle it with a smile and a few jokes rather than sitting and wallowing. I’ll always have my memories of the good times before I was sick, but my days are limited and I’m just trying to live them as if they were any other day. I have a weird sense of humor anyway, so I’d probably be cracking similar jokes even if I wasn’t going to die,” that was her turn to be brutally honest with me, but it helped me understand why Harry was so drawn to her in the first place, even though she is dying she has a spark to her that nothing seems to dim.
“I’m sorry, brutally honest comments happen a lot and I can’t really control it much, like you. And I guy like Harry too from what you are leading me to imply,” I liked Elizabeth; she was snarky, smart and honest. I had thought that she would be some jealous girl not wanting to let Harry go. “So what did you need to talk to me about Elizabeth, I don’t mean to sound rude but I’m on limited time as you know.”
She nodded, “I just wanted to tell you a bit about me and a bit about Harry, talk to you about how all this works and learn a little about you on the way. Let’s call it girl bonding time,” instructing me to her porch that sat looking out over the garden we sat in large cushioned chairs, “So… let’s get started.”
“Yes let’s,” I agreed sitting back in my chair.