Ask Kelly

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13. How to deal with being alienated?

Problem Definition: Hi I had a bunch of friends but then I moved to Africa and stayed two years I went back to America and it turns out my friend has break downs and got home-schooled so I only have 1 friend she is leaving next year and all the girls don't like me help me I'm getting anxiety and feeling depressed!!


Firstly, I want to apologize for taking sooo long to respond. I'm just extremely busy right now with some exams but I feel extremely bad, so I'm very sorry.

Secondly, I want to share with you my early high school life. I'm currently doing my final exams and I'll be graduating in June. Right now, I guess I could say I have lots of friends and I basically speak to most if not all of my year group but when I started high school, things weren't like that. In my first year, I barely had friends, I wasn't that social so I could understand why but there were people who actually hated me for some reason unknown to me. As in, most of the persons who didn't talk to me was because I didn't talk to them but some of them actually hated me.

I didn't let it get to me though. I had lots of disagreements with them because they basically made it their point of duty to bother me everyday and I'm not one for bullying. I hate it. But I got through with the few good, true friends I had. The second and third year were the same too but I made new friends still. Now at that time I knew that a quarter of the year group didn't like me and the next half didn't care to show interest of being my friend but I didn't care.

I guess I became more social in the fourth year and things got better from there but people still didn't like me and they probably won't ever but my point is that it doesn't matter what others think or feel about you. Don't let them get to you. Enjoy the time you have with your friend and I guess you could try being more social. Don't change yourself or try to blend in with society. Keep true to yourself and if they are people worth keeping, they'll be your friend.

Why not try to talk to your friend who is being home-schooled? Try to understand what went wrong with her and try being a friend to her because she probably needs one.

People are jerks and there is nothing you can do to change them but don't let them get to you. Strength is the best way to fight back. When I didn't let those girls get to me, some of them actually started talking to me and we're cool now. I realized that they're cool people, they realized that I'm a nice person and we developed some form of relationship, not all of them, but it worked out.

I can only wish you the best and hope things blow over. Just give it time. I hope this helps.

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