Ask Kelly

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3. Guy Advice

Wow I think I've officially received my favorite question. Okay so a friend of mine has a problem. 

Problem definition: So me and my friend like the same guy and she has said that I can have him. The problem is that she always talks about every cute little thing he does in the classes she has with him and I have no classes with him. The only chance I have to talk to him is after school when we grab our instruments from the band room. She is always talking about how nice he is, and its getting annoying how she has all these cute moments with him and I don't. How do I tell her that its getting annoying? Or should I just leave her be?

Well you really do seem annoyed about this and I can only imagine how you feel. It must be hard to like the same guy as your friend.

Firstly, I just want to remind you of that favorite line of mine as is 'sister before mister.' So no matter what happens don't let this change your relationship between you and your friend. You guys were friends before him and it should remain that way after, no matter what.

Secondly, your friend only said you could have him because she's being a friend. She doesn't want to ruin what you guys have so she said she would back off and she's probably trying but maybe she's developing feelings for this guy and she can't stop it. It doesn't help that she has classes with him either. Consider the way you feel towards him and imagine that's the same way she feels too.

Thirdly, do you know if he likes you? Suppose he likes her? Have you ever considered his feelings? I know this must hurt for you but you can't claim him yours if he doesn't like you that way. Have you ever spoken to him. Like do you guys ever have moments the few times you do see him? If you do and you're sure he likes you then hey, go for it if you want.

My real advice to you though would be to just forget about him. Both of you because it's destroying your friendship and you can't throw away a good friend for some relationship that might not last long. But also, if this guy means that much to you then game on. But if you're going up against your friend do it discreetly if you want to keep her. Try not to hurt her and don't make her hate you, you'll look like a bitch, and I'm sure you don't want that. 

Try to be around him more without looking like you're stalking him. Start up a conversation when you go for your instruments. Ask him what's his favorite instrument and why, how he learned to play, what drew him to it, that kind of stuff.

I think you should talk to your friend about this. Ask her if she still likes him and both of you figure out what to do, if one of you will go for him or none. But remember some friendships are worth keeping.

I hope this helps.

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