Hey guys!!! It's been a while since I’ve posted on this but I have missed you and I’m happy that I finally got a question so that I could respond.
First and foremost, we are dealing with a serious issue here, which is that of the eating disorders Anorexia and Bulimia. Bulimia is an emotional disorder characterized by a distorted body image and an obsessive desire to lose weight, in which bouts of extreme overeating are followed by fasting or self-induced vomiting or purging while Anorexia is the lack or loss of appetite for food (as a medical condition) or an emotional disorder characterized by an obsessive desire to lose weight by refusing to eat.
I understand that with the society and media that we have today, it is very hard to love yourself but I encourage you to do that. The other day, I was taking the bus home with a friend of mine from school (yes I take the bus, how awful, I know) and she was showing me some pictures of herself and she made the comment of how pretty she looked. I said to her that if I had said that, everyone would tell me how conceited I am and she said the most inspiring thing to me. Her exact words were and I quote, ‘Don’t let people tell you that. There is no such thing as loving yourself too much, it is just something that society tells you in order to hold you back and make you feel unloved. It is a way for them to control you. They do that to encourage you to feel insecure. Nothing is ever wrong with loving yourself.’
When she said those words to me I felt so inspired and happy that the following week I saw people making posts of their women crush and I decided to post myself on my own instagram as my own woman crush everyday and the caption was ‘WCE. Yes I’m legit serious. There’s no beauty like one’s acceptance of self. I LOVE me and you should LOVE you. It’s okay to do so.’ My point of this story is to say that guys, it is important to love yourself. It is very necessary to love yourself because if you don’t then people will get to you and you will continue to do things to hurt yourself.
Please, do not starve yourselves or eat a lot and then force yourself to throw up, at no time at all. If you ever feel like you are getting really insecure just find someone, your friends or even family members that will lift you up and above the persons that are making you feel this way. If you accept yourself, there is no one who can make you feel bad about yourself. Love you and then everything in life will be so much easier. You can get over whatever it is that you are going through and if you hurt yourself for others you are only letting them win.
Below I’m attaching a poem I wrote last year for my exams where I was doing a portfolio and my topic was Ideal Beauty. Please read it, I find it very encouraging. Thank you and remember that I love every single one of you.
‘I thought about getting a razor,’ she said
‘I thought about putting it to my wrist
I thought about all the pain
I thought about ending it
I thought if I went deep enough
It would be done for good
I wondered if it would make me happy
I thought that it should.’
‘I thought about ropes,
I thought about knives
It’s been on my mind a while now
I’ve thought deeply about ending my life
Because they told me Beauty was priority
And that I didn’t fit
They told me small is attractive
And that I’ve long exceeded it.’
‘Well I tried makeup,’ the other replied
‘I thought that it would work
I thought that if I conformed to them
Then maybe I wouldn’t hurt
I thought by covering my flaws
Then maybe they wouldn’t stare
I thought it would make them happy
But they didn’t seem to care.’
‘I thought if I cried enough
It would take away the pain
It’s all I really thought about
It was driving me insane.
Because they told me I was ugly
They asked what did I expect
They said no one wanted to remember me
And that’s why they chose to forget.’
‘You seemed to have it easy,’ another spoke
‘It wasn’t the same for me
They pushed me into walls
They broke my self-esteem.
All my screams and pain
All I saw was red
I can never forget it
It keeps replaying in my head.’
‘I thought about why they did it
I wondered who gave them the right
I still ask why they broke my spirit
Why they took away my fight?
Because they made me weak
They robbed me of my voice
They made me lose hope
And so I felt I had no choice.’
‘I understand how you feel,’ the fourth joined in
‘I know what it’s like
To no longer live
But merely survive
I thought if I looked like them
I would be able to live in peace
But then I lost my morals
And I cried myself to sleep.’
‘I thought that it should have helped
That I’d be happy if I had their skin
I thought I’d regain control
But I realized I only let them win.
Because they told me my shade was dirty
They told me I had no appeal
They said I had no self respect
And I only made that real.’
‘I thought about society,’ the fifth confessed
‘I thought about my current state
I wanted to be who they wanted
I didn’t want to get overweight
I thought that I would restrict my food intake
I obsessed over being thin
I thought I was too fat
And so I stopped eating.’
‘I thought I wanted to be a part of their clique
I thought they would make me strong
I thought it was what I needed
But I realized I was wrong.
Because they made me break myself
They took advantage of my flaw
They encouraged me to threaten my health
Because my insecurity is all I saw.’
‘I thought I was simple,’ another sighed
‘I thought I needed to be enhanced
I really wanted to attract attention
And I thought this was my chance.
I wanted big busts and hips
I wanted a smaller nose
I thought nothing was wrong with surgery
And that was the path I chose.’
‘I thought I had to do it
I wanted to be Ideal
But then when I saw my reflection
I realized I was no longer real.
Because they made me change myself
They told me my appearance would lead to my condemn
They told me I needed an upgrade
And now I look like them.’
‘My story is different from yours,’ the last said
‘Listen and you’ll see
These people that you speak about
Well that used to be me.
They found me suitable to hang with
And I was glad to fit in
I helped to hurt people like you
But really I was insecure within.’
‘I thought I wanted power
I thought I needed them as friends
But that wasn’t where I belonged
I learnt that the hard way in the end.
Because we all have flaws
So who are we to judge?
Who are we to hurt you?
I hope you don’t hold a grudge.’
‘Some of us were lost,’ the leader concluded
‘Some of us abused
Some of us were mistreated
And the rest of us used.
We are like relatives
And we have become one
We were put together
Because we understand what it’s like to never belong.