I let out a shaky breath as I make my way down the street. Fuck me why did I have to fuck it up?! Wow I said fuck a lot.... Oh well I don't fucking care right now.
I look at the ground, kicking a stone that's in my way.
I just had to open my big fat mouth and mention Daniel. The last person she'd want to talk about or with.
I can't lose her completely, I'd die of I truly lost her.
I've made my mind up, okay well it's been made up for a while now but I just now accept it.
I, Ashton Irwin am head over heels in love with Allison Wall.
Yes I'm dating her sister so I don't know how this is actually going to work.... Plus I probably just fucked up any real chance I had with her. I feel my eyes start to sting gain and I know I'm gonna cry real soon.
Why am I such a fuck up?
Why do I always screw things up?
Now I understand why I don't sing so much, I suck at it-
Someone bumps into me making me stumble and break my train of thought.
I glare at the other guy but my eyes soften as I meet familear brown eyes.
"Hey watch where your going yeah bastar- Ashton?"
I look to the ground as I feel my eyes start to water again. Oh fuck this. Great timing jackass.
"Ash, are you okay?" And that sentence sends me on over drive. The tears spill down my cheeks and he brings me into a tight embrace as I cry on his shoulder and kinda on his chest because I'm shorter then him. Actually, I think I'm shorter then all of them.
Great another thing to remind me I'm a fuck up.
Sobs rack my body as I cling onto him and he (try's to anyway) make soothing sounds try's to get me to calm down.
He then leads me towards somewhere and before I know it, were on his bed and I'm still bawling like a damn baby.
God I've never cried over a damn girl before so why am I now? Oh that's right. Because I fucking love her and she just told me to get out of her life.
Just thinking about what happened makes my eyes water again.
"Ash what happened?" My band mate asks me again. I bite my lip to keep from bursting back into tears. Again.
God I feel like such a teenage girl. I need help.
"I-I can't Cal. It- it hurts. So much." I say and I feel so small because I'm in love and she doesn't love me back.
He wraps his arms around me again and I wipe my face with my hands but stop when he hands me a box of tissues.
"Thanks." I mumble and blow my nose and wipe my eyes (Not with the same one cause that's just nasty).
"So, what happened? What made you go all 'teenage-girl-breakup' mode on me?" He asks while I take a deep breath.
I glare at him but then my eyes fall to my lap. I don't want to tell Calum I'm in love with my girlfriends sister. He'd have my head probably.
"What hurt Ash?" He sighs as I don't say nothing.
I look at him and slowly point to my chest, right where my heart is.
He furrows his eyebrows and slowly nods his head. "And why does it hurt?"
I bite my lip looking down, debating if I should come clean or not. He is one of my closest friends, even though he's closer with Luke.
I let out a shaky breath. I look up to meet his warm brown eyes. "I-I'm in love."
His eyes go wide and his mouth goes slack a little and I look back down at the tissue box on my lap.
"Wow, that's great Ashton! Did you tell Violet yet?" He asks with a wide smile and I visibly shrink down and his smile slowly fades.
After a moment of silence and me not saying anything he speaks up. "Oh..... She didn't tell you she loved you back, did she?"
When I still don't say anything, he keeps on guessing. "She said it first and you didn't say it back and now you regret it because you really do love her?"
I let out a small sigh. My hazel eyes meet his and his whole smile is now a deep frown and I fiddle with my thumbs.
Just as he's a bout to speak up again my phone vibrates and I feel my eyes water again as I read the message. I drop my phone onto the bed and Calum picks it up. I go back onto full on sobbing the whole fucking package with the hiccups and shaky breath and whimpers. Everything.
I bring my knees up to my chest and rest my arms on them with head in it as I cry my life out.
"Are- are you in love. With...... Allison?" He finally stutters out and I feel my heart break at just the mention of her name. It hurts so much that I literally grab my chest and I let out a whimper in pain.
If this is what being in love is like then I don't like it. Not one bit.
I slowly open my glossy eyes and I see Calum looking at me with wide eyes and my phone is now laying on the bed.
I glance at the message again.
"Stay out of my life, I don't want you near me ever again you uncontested asshole."
I let out a throaty sob and I wipe my eyes and cheeks.
I nod my head and he lets out a sigh.
"Wow, that, something. Isn't she dating Michael?" He asks and I glare at him. "Oh right. Sorry."
I curl up into a ball on his bed and close my eyes as my head hits his pillow.
"Yeah sure. You can stay here if you want." He says and I can't tell if he's being real or sarcastic. Let's be safe and for Calum's sake, lets say he's being real.
I feel Calum get off the bed and head out his room, shutting the door behind him with a soft click sound.
Hopefully some sleep will take my heartache away, even if it's just for a little while.