After Ashton and I had our little break down in the bathroom, we continued the rest of the day like nothing had happened. I invited him back to my house but he rejected it saying that he had to go home and do some things. I knew he was lying but I just dismissed the feeling in my gut. I feel like he's hiding something from me, maybe Its something really obvious but I'm just too oblivious of everything around me to figure it out. It's tearing me apart inside knowing that he's broken and he won't open up and let me know what's going on with him. I'm tired, so tired of all of the crying and pain that's been happening lately...I'm ready to just end it all, but I've gotta stay strong for Ashton. I will fix him no matter what it takes.
Luke asked me to come to his house but I denied because I had "things to do" but I really didn't I just don't want to get beat again, so I came home early and went straight to my room. There's nothing to do so I put on sad music and just thought about everything in my life, I ended up crying, more like sobbing myself to sleep. I feel like I'm walking down a really long road, a never ending road of hurt, pain, and sadness. I just want to leave this boulevard of broken dreams. Speaking of dreams, everyone says that their dreams are better than reality, the sad thing is that my dreams are just nightmares, they're just as bad as my life, my life and my dreams are never ending nightmares, my dreams are reoccurring, the same dream over and over and I just want it to be over, I don't want to remember what happened that night.
When I wake up from my terrible slumber I decide to get fresh air, I climb out of my bedroom window and down the tree next to my window, just so I can avoid the drunk down stairs, when I reach the ground I start to run. I don't know where I'm running but I just need to get away from my house, my feet have a mind of their own because once they stop I realize where they took me, my destination is the one and only, Luke Hemmings house. Before I can think about what I'm doing, my fists are lightly tapping the door. I step back and turn around almost wanting to run away but my feet stop me when the door opens, a very familiar voice says "ash? What are you doing here? Are you okay?" I slowly turn around and respond quietly, "I don't know" i manage to get out of my mouth "well do you want to come in?" The blond boy says I just nod nod and slowly take a step forward, all of my actions seem to be so slow, like I'm turning into stone.
I step into Luke's house and he guides me to his bedroom and I take a seat on his bed, "do you need anything?" The blue eyed beauty says, "beauty?" I whisper to myself in a questioning tone "what?" Luke says and I shake my head "nothing, I don't need anything, just someone to hangout with I guess" I say with a shaky voice.
I've been at Luke's house for 2 and a half hours now, we haven't really done much, we played video games and watched a movie and just talked about random stuff until he fell asleep, I just can't seem to fall asleep so I just sit there watching him sleep, that sounds creepy but it's not really. He looks flawless even when he's asleep, wait...what? Why the hell do I keep thinking these things about him? "Stop it brain!" I scold myself for thinking such things about another boy, I must've scolded myself a little too loudly because Luke stirred in his sleep and let out a yawn and woke up as I sat there quietly and watched him. "Ash?" Luke whispered and I stood up from my position at his desk and walked over to his bed "yeah, Luke?" I whispered back. "You should've woken me up right when you saw me drifting off to sleep" he said in a groggily voice, which sounded really sexy by the way, ughh stop brain! "I didn't want to, you seemed tired so I let you sleep" I said and he nodded and patted the spot next to him on the bed motioning for me to sit with him.
I sat on the edge of the bed and he grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him and snuggled up to me like a koala, that's fucking adorable. I sighed contently and looked down at the little blond haired blue eyed boy, thinking that he was going to fall asleep again until I heard him speak "ash?" He whispered and I hummed in response as I brought my hand up to his hair and massaged my fingers through his hair, "can I try something? It's okay if you say no" he said quietly and I though about it before answering, what did he wanna try? I was curious, so I responds hesitantly "yeah, you can try something." He lifted his head off of my chest and looked me straight in the eyes, I never noticed how beautiful his eyes were before, I soon found myself looking at his lips, I saw him do the same and my breath got caught it my throat, he slowly leaned in and soon his lips were attached to mine and I was in shock, I didn't know what to do, soon I found myself hesitantly kissing him back, when he pulled back we were both out of breath and I was unsure of what to say, I didn't know he liked me like that, now he's got me questioning why I kissed him back, why didn't I push him away? Do I have feelings for this boy? I'm so confused. Luke must've noticed my lack of attention because he cleared his throat and said "say something, please?" And I let out a shaky breath and all I said was "wow"
Sooo, they kissed...how do you feel about that? I haven't updated in forever and I was bored and it's like 12:30 p.m right now and I've been having a shitty life lately and I just needed an escape, so I made something good happen. I might try to update soon too but don't get your hopes up because I'm a shitty updater...soo bye bye for now my little penguins 🐧🐧🐧