On my drive to the airport, I ended up having to pull over and search up directions on my phone. I had finally given up on convincing myself that I knew where it was. I kept hoping I could just figure it out and not have to waste time looking for directions, but it’s what I ended up having to do.
I would’ve saved more time if I had just searched directions when I left, but I the time I was so certain that I knew where I was going and didn’t want to have to waste minutes by looking up how I get to a place I already knew how to get to.
I couldn’t help but smile at myself when I thought about how I just basically walked out of the house with my dad’s car keys. I was never really one to act out or rebel in that way. Sure there was lying about Harry, but that was different. I wondered what his punishment for me was going to be.
There really wasn’t anything he could take away from me since most of my days were spent skating or doing schoolwork, his punishments were limited. I mean he could take away my phone like he did before, but now it doesn’t have as much as an effect since before I was using it to talk to Harry. Taking away TV really won’t make much of a difference to me, and I’m sure he’d want to come up with a better punishment than that.
Driving toward the airport, I began to seriously think about what I might want to say to him. All the other times I’ve thought about it, I was convinced that I wasn’t going to go talk to him so I was just thinking about what I’d like to say to him, not what I really needed to say to him or exactly what I wanted to say. I never thought about this situation as serious as I am now.
This time I’m not going to let myself talk me out of doing this because I’m too scared or nervous to. I have to go see him, I have to and I’m going to, I’m not going to let myself turn this car around. I really have nothing to lose, I mean he’s leaving so I can really say whatever I want since I’ll most likely never see him again.
He is leaving, there’s nothing I could do to stop him from leaving, and I still hadn’t decided if I wanted him to stay or not. I just wanted some type of closure with him. It didn’t seem right to just let him leave without at least saying bye. I never wanted us to completely stop talking, but it was pretty much inevitable.
I broke up with him for what seemed like no good reason to him, so that doesn’t usually go down well to where we wouldn’t end up acting like the other didn’t exist for the longest time. I had to stop thinking about all this though and get my focus back on driving since I almost missed that last exit I needed to get on.
Before I knew it I was driving up to the airport, but I had to park in the stupid parking garage that was almost always full. I was not looking forward to having to find a spot in there because I knew that if I didn’t make it into the airport, that was going to be the only reason why since I wasn’t letting myself leave.
I drove around the bottom floor about twice before I finally decided I was going to give up and drive up to the next floor of the garage to find a spot.
Just to my luck though, I noticed a family walking out of the airport and towards the garage. I waited for them to get in their car and drive away before I gleefully pulled into the newly opened spot. I quickly got out of the car and ran up to the entrance of the building.
After I got one of those passes to go through, I quickly headed over to security and since I only had my purse it should’ve gone quicker, but the people in front of me had so much crap with them that they could have checked onto the plane but decided to keep it with them.
Once I had finally gotten through security, I walked over to the monitors and tried to find the flight going to Heathrow so I could get Harry’s gate number.
My eyes had to scan through the flight list about three times until I finally found it. I had just put myself in such a rush to find it on there that I had hardly been looking at the list the first time, I was just thinking that I would automatically find it. I began to walk with a quick pace in the direction that Harry’s gate was in, saying the gate number in my head over and over so I wouldn’t forget it.
I really wanted to run to the gate but I knew that that would probably be a bad idea with all the people with bags and suitcases walking around. I finally made it to the section with the forties, and began to count them down as I saw them until I got to forty-six.
My heart was beating out of my chest as I looked over all the people sitting in the section, doing it slowly so I could see all the faces of the people and find Harry. I finally spotted his trait that was the first thing I noticed about him when I met him only a few months go, his head of messy brown hair that worked so well on him.
I began to walk over to where I saw him sitting, probably walking at the slowest pace I have all day since I was so nervous. I didn’t realize how I nervous I was going to be to do this until I was actually there, walking up to him.
He was so close and he felt so far, the feeling was cliché I now, but it was true. He had been looking down at a magazine so he really didn’t notice that I had been heading toward him until I was standing in front of him.
That’s when he looked up from his magazine and immediately closed it. I hadn’t really thought about what his reaction might be to seeing me here, I was just continuously thinking about what I was going to say to him.
“Gabrielle?” he managed to say, he was obviously at a loss for words from the shock that I was here.
I was still in a bit of a shock that I was here standing in front of him too, just as much as he seemed to be. All of it was pretty unexpected.
“What are you doing here?” he asked me as he stood up from the chair he was sitting in to stand in front of me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked him, even though I knew why he was here, since deciding to keep the small talk and get right to the point of what I wanted to say to him, since I wasn’t sure how much time I had to talk to him.
“I’m here because I’m going back to England, how did you even know I was here?” he asked.
“Your aunt told me,” I said to him.
“Of course she did,” he mumbled under his breath.
I was now regretting coming because I felt like he didn’t even want me to know that he was leaving. I guess I wasn’t expecting him to be excited that I was here, but still.
“You still haven’t given me a reason of why you’re here,” I told him.
“Why I’m here? What about you? How didn’t you even get through security without a ticket?” he asked me.
“I got a pass,” I told him and held up the pass I had that let me through security, and I was wishing that I could just get to what I wanted to say, but he just seemed so obsessed with why I was here and how I got here.
“A pass,” he scoffed, a bit frustrated and ran a hand through my hair, I figured that was because he didn’t know about those once I realized the absence of Ben and his aunt, I never even thought about them being here right now when I talked to him.
“Why are you leaving?” I asked again, a bit more demanding this time since he hadn’t been answering.
He sighed, “Because there’s nothing here for me anymore,” he told me.
“Nothing here for you? You came here for hockey and you had a team. Sure the people on the team are assholes, but it’s still a great hockey team. Don’t let a few people on the team disliking you make you want to quit,” I told him. “I’m not quitting, I’m going back to my team in England,” he said to me.
“But you left that team for a more advanced one here, are you seriously just going to give up on the team here that’s more successful,” I said to him, and I really couldn’t believe I was complimenting that team but I was, I wasn’t sure where a lot of what I was saying was coming from, but it was coming out of my mouth.
“Now why are you really leaving?”
“You don’t realize that it’s not all about the success, it’s about enjoying myself playing the sport, and I’m not enjoying it anymore here. I just don’t like the people at this rink,” he explained to me.
“What about your aunt and Ben? You get along so well with them, you have them when things at the rink aren’t going well,”
“I know but that’s not always enough. I can’t spend my time here only with my aunt and cousin. I wanted actual friends here my age, and I tried to make some friends, but it wasn’t working out. I don’t want to leave my family here, but they aren’t my life, there’s other things that are more important that I need to make better for myself that affect my future,” he said to me.
“And why do you even care about what I do with my life? We haven’t talked in weeks you’ve made it clear you’re done with me and now you’re here,” he added.
“I never said I was done with you,” I told him.
“Yet here we are, you break up with me, don’t talk to me, you show up when something big happens that you for some reason have a problem with. I didn’t think you’d care if I left, wouldn’t it just make your life easier if I was gone?”
“I just want everything to start over,” I admitted to him, not knowing what else to say to him.
“You’re kidding me? It’s kind of bad timing to tell me that now since I am leaving,” he told me.
“Just stay,” I blurted out.
“Stay? Why are you saying all of this now? Would you even be saying any of this to me if I wasn’t leaving?”
“I don’t know, at some point maybe. I’ve just been missing you in my life and I don’t want you even further away from me,” I said.
“You’re kidding me Gabrielle! Why should I stay? Why should I care about or believe anything that you’re saying to me? You broke up with me just because one problem occurred. A problem that we could’ve worked through but you decided just to let me go instead, how do I know that won’t happen again?” he said to me, his voice starting to rise a bit and I noticed a few people looking in out direction now.
He realized too and began to calm himself down a bit.
“It won’t happen again Harry, I was being stupid and I wasn’t thinking through everything very well, I was just stressed,” I told him.
“Oh I know it won’t happen again,” he told me and walked passed me, hitting my shoulder with his as he walked away from me and he went to find another section of the gate area to sit.
I just stood there for a few more moments before finally deciding to leave. I looked at Harry as I walked away from the gate, but he didn’t look up once. I sighed and finally made myself walk out of the airport. I felt more upset that I thought I would, I wasn’t even sure what I thought was going to happen. He obviously wasn’t going to decide to stay here, especially since he was already here at the airport waiting for his flight.
What was really bothering me right now was the fact that I didn’t even get to say good-bye to him.