About another week had passed by, and I was happy to say that things had been getting a whole lot better. I was surprised by how much of a difference just cutting one person out of your life could make with all the other people in your life. It especially made a big difference considering everyone else in my life hated the person who I cut out. I have been trying to refrain from using his name.
Every now and then I would have sporadic moments when I would just be overcome with sadness thinking about Harry. Ever since I saw him that day a couple of weeks ago where he at least acknowledged me, but in a way he didn’t. I hated what I did and how it seemed to be affecting him, but I told myself not to have too much regret for it since it did help me in all the other areas of my life.
“Thanks,” I said to my dad after he handed the waitress his debit card in the black booklet.
“No problem,” he said to me as he took a sip of his water.
On days that my dad is able to leave early, we go out for dinner instead of settling for the frozen meals that we always seem to have. Tonight we decided on eating at the diner, which I had told myself I would be fine with, but I knew I was lying to myself as soon as we had pulled into the parking. All the memories of the times that Harry and I had came here suddenly came flowing back.
I had almost forced myself to forget them all, but now that I was back in this place, the memories couldn’t help but pound at my skull and force me to remember them. I tried to just focus on the fact that I was here having dinner with my dad, something that I never thought I would be getting to do again. I needed to stop being reminded of Harry every time that I left the house.
I broke up with him; I shouldn’t be this upset because I saw it coming. I couldn’t imagine how Harry felt then because he didn’t see it coming, at all, and by his pleading I could tell that he didn’t want it to happen. I didn’t want it to happen either but it really did seem like the best thing to do, and so far the only regret I’ve had with my decision is how upset Harry is.
I’m sure he’s gotten over it by now though, or at least isn’t letting it affect him that much. The waitress came back with my dad’s card and the receipt and then we both got up from the booth and headed out to the parking lot.
My dad was planning on stopping by the rink at some time this week during lunch, so he was having me tell him how my routine and everything was going. There was one Lutz in the routine that I wasn’t sure if I had been landing in a way that looks nice even though it was convenient for me so I could continue on with the routine easily.
Skating was usually almost all we talked about, but I really didn’t mind that much. We continued the conversation on the drive back to the house, and once we were home, I headed up to my room to get ready for bed.
I decided that I would take a shower now instead of taking one in the morning. I took a quick shower and blow dried my hair and changed into some comfortable clothes before I headed back into my room. I sat at my vanity to wipe my make up off before finally getting into bed. I made sure my alarm was set before getting under the covers and turning my lamp off.
I woke up the next morning to the sound of my alarm. I was already half awake when it went off so I easily sat up and got out of bed to turn it off. I still couldn’t get over how good it felt to wake up and know that I wasn’t hiding anything from anyone and I hadn’t been telling lies to anyone. I could go downstairs and have a good conversation with my dad over breakfast before he left for work.
My dad has seemed a lot happier too. He has been less stressed than he used to be and looks a lot more relaxed. He wasn’t working ridiculous hours anymore, he was arriving at work and leaving work at the same time as everyone else at his building instead of staying super late like he used to do. He also takes his lunch breaks every now and then like I know most people do there too.
A little voice in the back of my head kept telling me that I didn’t fix everything though, Harry as far as I knew was still pretty unhappy. I kept telling myself that I needed to talk to him because I hated the unspoken tension between us. I just could never bring myself to waiting after my practice to stop and talk to him or to call him, I was just too nervous.
Nevertheless, after getting changed, I headed downstairs where my dad was probably already eating breakfast.
When I got into the kitchen my dad was sitting at the counter eating a bowl of cereal. I went to the pantry and grabbed my cereal out and poured it into a bowl. My dad told me he probably wasn’t going to take his lunch break today, which I was fine with.
After talking a bit in between bites of our cereal, I heard the doorbell ring signaling that Bella was here. I quickly finished the last of my breakfast and then put the bowl in the sink before grabbing my bag and saying bye to my dad. I headed out the door and followed Bella to the driveway where we both got into the car.
We both talked to her mom a bit on the drive to the rink until she finally pulled up at the building. She said bye to both of us and then drove off. I hadn’t realized until we walked inside and I looked at the clock that I realized that she had dropped us off a bit earlier today.
“She had to get to work a bit early today for some crap reason,” Bella told me when she noticed me looking at the clock on the wall.
“Oh okay,” I said.
We just kind of stood at the side of the lobby as we waited until it was time for us to go into the rink since there were still people in there right now. It was pointless to go sit down because we really didn’t have to wait too long and the couches were on the other side of the lobby.
As we were waiting, I was watching all the people who were coming in through the entrance, and I was a bit surprised when I saw Harry’s aunt walking in. I told Bella that I would be right back and then I quickly walked over to her.
“Tammy,” I said, getting her attention,
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Oh,” she said like I had surprised her a bit, “I guess I should’ve known he wouldn’t tell you,” she said and I knew she was talking about Harry. “Tell me what?” I asked. “I’m here to talk to his coach, Harry’s moving back to England.”