When I saw that Harry had come in, I was somewhat expecting the rest of the hockey team to be coming in behind him, but I knew that they never came in this early and Harry was never the first one to come in. I looked back down at my skate as I continued to take it off, only looking up a few times as I saw him walking over to where Bella and I were sitting on the bleachers.
I guess it was pretty convenient that he was coming in here right now since I had wanted to talk to him, but I didn’t understand why he had come in here right now, I never told him that I needed to talk to him. I guess he had something that he needed to say to me which would explain why he had both called and texted me this morning.
Since I didn’t answer either of those ways he had tried to get in contact with me, coming to me face to face was his next best option. I wasn’t sure what he was so eager to talk to me about, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear it right now, or at all for that matter I guess.
I just wanted to tell him what I needed to and just get it over with so I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore and I didn’t want anything that he had to say to me mess with my decision since I knew with everything going on, I might regret changing my mind, but I always might regret what I thought I needed to do right now.
I knew that if I wanted to fix my relationships with everyone else in my life, I was probably going to have to break one. I knew that it wasn’t fair to Harry, but Bella is still upset with me and the good relationship I once had with my dad just kept getting worse and worse. Those two people were in my life way before Harry was and it doesn’t seem fair to them considering that I had been lying to them for so long about Harry and I.
Just a regular apology wasn’t going to cut it for this mess that I was in with those people right now, but I was hoping what I was going to do would help fix, or completely fix the issue. If this issue was resolved then hopefully Bella and I can just go back to being best friends instead of her just giving me an attitude all the time and not liking the fact that she still had to see me everyday.
As for my dad I was completely sure what all was going to be resolved. He probably wasn’t going to be able to forget the subject as easy as Bella might, but I was hoping that it would at least begin to fix the fight that we were in right now since all we were doing right now was just getting in deeper to the fight instead of trying to fix our disagreements.
I knew that this wasn’t going to completely wipe away everything that he had been arguing about, but I small part of me thought that this would really help out.
Some of the things though didn’t have much to do with Harry, like the fact that I was mad about my dad being at work all the time, but maybe that problem might be easier to resolve if Harry was no longer in the picture, he may feel more sympathy towards me.
As far as everything else, I was hoping that maybe my dad and me could just have a small talk about it and then the issue would be gone. I really didn’t want to talk about any of it, I just wanted it to all go away, but I knew that that wasn’t going to make anything easier for me, it may just lead to more conflict with my dad if we didn’t fix the problems now.
I knew that no matter what my dad was going to want to talk about the fact that I had lied to him during all this, lied to him about so many things. It seemed like every time that we attempt to talk about something, it just led to another fight between us. I was happy though that I had finally told him some things that I have been wanting to tell him for a long time but just didn’t have the guts to do it. I also had the slight fear though that doing this wasn’t going to accomplish any fixing with anyone.
What if everyone was just so upset and angry with me that no matter what I did they were just done with me?
That worry was eating at me and I tried not to let it bother me but it did. If they were done with me to the point that even if I cut Harry out of my life that they would still me mad, then I would really regret my decision.
I wish I knew if there was a way that those two could ever forgive me, because if there wasn’t then I would just stay with Harry because there wouldn’t be anything else I could do because my endless ways of trying to get them to forgive me would be pointless, so I might as well just forget about it and stay with Harry.
I wasn’t sure if that was the case though since Bella had somewhat started to become less hostile towards me. I was just so confused about what to do because I felt like either way there was going to me something that I might regret.
“Hey,” Harry smiled when we walked up to us.
Was he really that clueless that I was even the least bit upset with him?
“What do you want?” Bella snapped at him.
He seemed at a loss for words for a moment, probably not expecting Bella to snap at him like that, or for her to say something to him at all, but if she was going to say anything to him, it was going to be in a hostile action. I did want to know why he was in here, but I wasn’t positive if I wanted Bella to hear or not, plus I didn’t want her in here when I finally said what I needed to.
“Bella do you mind maybe waiting in the lobby for a few minutes, I need to talk to Harry,” I said to her.
“She gave me a look and let out an annoyed sigh before she finally got up from the bleachers, grabbed her bag and headed out of the rink and to the lobby. Harry and I both waited until she was gone, and I just couldn’t help but wonder what Harry wanted right now, but then again I didn’t want to know and I just wanted to get all this over with.
“Look,” he began, catching me off guard since I didn’t think that he was going to start talking yet, “I just came in here to say I’m sorry for yesterday and that I should’ve listened to you when you were talking to me and thinking about other things when I should’ve been listening to you. So if you want I was thinking that maybe later tonight I could take y-”
“I’m breaking up with you,” I blurted out as I interrupted him.
“Y-You’re what?” he asked, and I knew that he was trying to convince himself that he heard me wrong, but unfortunately he didn’t.
“Please don’t make me say it again,” I pleaded, trying my best to keep my guard up with doing this.
“But I apologized, well was in the middle of apologizing, you’re mad at me for not listening to you yesterday right?” he said, and the look on his face was hurting me too much.
“You’re I am a bit upset about yesterday, but I’ve been considering this for the past few days now and I honestly think it’s what’s best,” I told him.
“What’s best for who? For me? For you?” his voice was starting to rise and I knew he was feeling all kinds of hurt, and I hated myself for it.
“I don’t know, for everyone? Just think of how much conflict has happened Harry,” I said to him.
“I don’t care about whatever conflict is going on. I can help you, we can figure out ways to get all this not to bother you,” he tried.
“It’s not just that Harry, I’m losing my best friend and my relationship with my father is getting worse by the day. Having you in my life is what started the hostility with them, and I’m thinking having you out of my life would fix it,” I told him, and my voice began to crack at the end of what I was saying.
“I don’t think you should do this because of them, they’ll forgive you at some point once they realize how happy you are. We could make them get to know me, have them see that I’m not as bad as they think I am. Breaking up isn’t the answer to this problem Gabrielle; we need to work through it. Imagine if one of them was in your shoes, what do you think th-”
“Just stop Harry, please,” I said to him, on the verge of tears as I picked up my skate back and ran out of the rink.