I had finally given up on the possibility that Gabrielle was going to text me back and I pushed my phone away from me so I wouldn’t be tempted to keep checking it. I wished that she would just answer me right though because I really wanted to apologize to her and just listen to everything that she had to tell me right now and do my best to help her the best that I could.
Unfortunately that wasn’t going to happen right now since that wasn’t what I had done in the first place which had gotten me into this. Hopefully I would have some time at the rink today to talk to her. I was planning on getting to the rink today earlier than I really needed to so I could go into where she skated and talk to her.
I was hoping that Bella wasn’t going to be in there by the time I arrived there. I knew she was usually there because Gabrielle told me that Bella usually hung out in there while she waited for Gabrielle’s skate time to be over, that and I always see her in there when me and the rest of the guys on the team on in there when they’re still in there. I didn’t know for sure if Bella still waited for Gabrielle’s skate time to be up or not considering that Bella was still pretty angry with her I assumed. I really didn’t care if Bella was going to be in there or not, I just needed to talk to Gabrielle.
I knew I wouldn’t have too much time to talk to her so I was going to try and convince her to wait for my practice to be over, but I would understand if she didn’t want to wait so I would probably end up going to her house after my practice and attempt to pick her up and take her to dinner or something like that whether she wanted me to or not.
My aunt and I had decided just to stay up since we had woken up this early and we were both wide awake no so even if the mowing had stopped already, there was no way that either of us were getting anymore sleep this morning.
As the time passed, my aunt began to start making us an actual breakfast since all we had had for breakfast this morning was some pieces of buttered toast. While she was getting the pancake griddle out and was beginning to mix together the pancake batter, I was asking her continuous questions about what all I should do today when I got to the rink.
Mostly just about what I should say to Gabrielle. I was a bit upset that I was going to have to miss the buffet today, but I knew what I had to do today was a whole lot more important today since going to the buffet was pretty much one of the things that got me into this situation with Gabrielle.
I didn’t understand why I hadn’t just told Gabrielle that I was planning on going to the buffet so that was why I was in such a rush yesterday and wasn’t listening as much as I really needed to be. I guess I was just nervous about what she would say or what she would think about me going to the buffet with all the other hockey guys and coach.
I hadn’t really given it much thought, but thinking about it now that was most likely the reason I just never said anything to her, I don’t even remember considering telling her and I can’t remember why. I would end up telling her today and I wasn’t sure if she was going to be angry about it or not.
Yesterday she probably just would’ve been curious as to why I was going and she would either be happy that I was starting to work things out with the guys on my team, or unhappy with the fact that I was working things out with them and was on the way to getting things back to normal for myself.
I was hoping that she would’ve been happy if I had told her in the car, but I would’ve also understood if she was a bit jealous or upset considering that nothing was getting better for her. I knew since I hadn’t told her yesterday and would be telling her today that that was the reason why I was in such a rush; she wasn’t going to be happy.
It’ll be understandable though considering that she’ll be angry because I hadn’t been listening to her because I was in such a hurry to meet up with the hockey guys. I hoped after we resolved this though she could get over that and at least be the slightest bit happy for me. I wasn’t sure how any of this was going to go though so I didn’t even now what she was going to say about any of this.
Before my aunt had answered any of the questions I had asked her while she was getting the pancake batter made, she made a point to tell me what an idiot I was for not listening and being so focused on pretty much anything else yesterday. I continued to tell her that I knew that I wasn’t happy with myself, and she finally stopped.
The two of us went over what all had happened yesterday to make sure I knew everything that I had messed up yesterday so I could make sure I would say everything when I apologized to her later today. My aunt was helping me go over what I had planned to say to Gabrielle when I saw her today. I knew I was probably going to forget, but I wanted to at least have an idea of what I might say to her, just to make sure that I said everything that needed to be said and apologized for.
“You need to stop overthinking it all Harry, you will know what you need to say when the time comes. Don’t think of it as that big of a deal,” my aunt told me.
“But this is a big deal,” I said to her.
“Well I know that, but since you are making it a bigger deal than it is, you’re just making yourself even more nervous that you need to be. Just trust that when you see her at the rink today, you will apologize to her in the best way that you can and that is all that is needed,” she told me.
“Do you think just apologizing will be enough? Is she going to be one of those girls who wants some extravagant apology?” I asked.
“No, she doesn’t strike me as that type of girl. Save your extravagant apology for something bigger than you just not listening to her,” she assured me and I nodded.
We soon had to cut our conversation short since it was getting closer to the time that I originally woke up, so Ben had now joined us in the kitchen and was currently devouring the pancakes that his mom had placed in front of him.
When asked why we weren’t eating with him, we told Ben that we had already been up, and that obviously bothered him since he seemed to really enjoy waking up and eating at the same time as us.
That just goes in hand with his influential stage and wanting to be like the people around him, which was one of the reasons that my aunt was happy to take me in when I moved here so she could have a male figure in Ben’s life to look up to.
I knew having that role in Ben’s life right now wasn’t too big of a deal considering that he really wasn’t going to be influenced in anyway that couldn’t be fixed at his age, but it still worried me sometimes.
I just often wondered too much if I wasn’t a good enough role model for him and that there were plenty of other people that would be better for him to look up to. I’d talked to my aunt about that once and she assured me that I had been influencing Ben in nothing but good ways, even though I hadn’t seen anyway that I had, good or bad.
My aunt and I just listened to Ben talk to us once he had finished his breakfast, and I continued with the bad habit I’ve recently discovered which was not paying attention to the person who was talking as much as I should, but in this case I was too busy thinking about the person who I had begun to not listen to because at the time I was thinking that getting to and from one place to the next was more important, and it wasn’t.