After I went up to my room, I threw myself on my bed and buried my face in my pillow. I was so irritated at everyone right now and I had nobody to talk to. Normally in this situation when I would get into a fight with my dad, I would immediately go to calling Harry but of course I was irritated with him right now too and I didn’t want to talk to him.
I knew that I should probably tell him why I was a bit upset with him because right now he probably thinks that everything is just fine. I can’t expect an apology or something from him if he’s clueless that I’m even the slightest bit irritated. I just did not feel like talking to him right now and I didn’t know why, I guess that I’d just wait until tomorrow to sort that out.
As for the conflict with my dad, I didn’t know what was going to happen. He obviously now hated Harry even more and now he was getting pretty frustrated with me. I certainly did not like the accusations that he was throwing around and I really wanted to defend myself, but not as much as I just wanted it to go away. I began to go over everything that we said to each other and I was thinking of ways that maybe I could work all this out with him even though it probably wouldn’t be very effective considering how stubborn he is probably going to be with all of this.
As I was going over some of the things that he had said to be, I began to think more in depth about some of them. I really did like being able to talk to my and tell him certain things when I needed to, and I wasn’t really sure what happened to that.
My dad insisted that it was because of Harry, which was something I was hiding from him, and naturally that made me hide more things from him. Most of them involved Harry though, so I wasn’t sure if my dad understood that or not. I knew that he was pretty upset that I hadn’t told him about how I didn’t like him staying at work all the time, but I thought that one was pretty obvious.
Not many kids enjoy it when their dad leaves early in the morning and isn’t seen again out of work until late at night and doesn’t even bother to take the lunch break he is given to come see me do my skating routine. I always said how I hated that he would critique every little thing that I would do that didn’t make my routine perfect to him, but now that it’s gone and he isn’t there to do it, I actually miss it in a way.
Now I just have to build up on myself and I have no clue if I’m getting better or not. If my dad still doesn’t want to come though, my trainer would be back in the states soon to help me so my dad doesn’t have to worry about me he could just focus on work, even though I still wished that he would be there for me.
I continued to think on what my dad had said about Harry influencing me. If he did influence me in any way, neither of us knew about it, and I knew Harry wouldn’t have done it intentionally if had, but he hadn’t.
I had already gotten under the covers and turned off the light and everything by now, not bothering to change into different clothes to sleep in since these were confortable enough.
I began to think more on the topic until I realized a few things, but by then I was already almost asleep and wasn’t able to think more on what I realized.
I woke up the next morning to my alarm that was thankfully still set from the other day since I completely forgot to make sure that I still had it switch to on in my phone.
As I was getting ready, I continued most of my thought process from last night about Harry and everything. I mean it could be true that Harry could be having an influence on me, but in a way I was doing it to myself.
I knew I should probably call Harry later today since he’s most likely worried about how everything went with my dad yesterday. Then again after his actions yesterday, he probably doesn’t care the least bit since he couldn’t even bother to listen to something that was affecting me greatly, or wait maybe one extra minute to make sure that I got into my house all right, which by the way I didn’t.
I proceeded to think about what I should about all this as I continued to get ready to head back to the rink. I was now kind of wishing that the conversation between my dad and I last night had gone well because then maybe he would be taking me to the rink, or at least showing up to the rink during lunch since I knew that he had to be at work at a certain time. He might’ve come home later though because he stays a few hours longer everyday than he’s really required to.
The conversation last night didn’t end well, just as we both probably expected, so I knew none of that was going to happen. If anything he was probably going to stay at work even longer. I finished getting ready and I stalled bit upstairs before heading downstairs into the kitchen to get breakfast. I was pretty sure my dad was still down there unless he decided that he wanted to leave the house even earlier as well. I headed into the kitchen and I saw that my dad was sitting at the counter.
“Still here?” I asked, “Thought you’d be gone by now,”
I had walked to the fridge as I was talking to him.
“I was just about to leave actually,” he told me as he gathered up the paper work he had in front of him.
He probably wasn’t about to leave until the moment I walked in is when he decided that he was about to leave.
“Okay,” I mumbled and I wait for him to leave before sitting down at the counter to eat my breakfast.
I decided just to enjoy this time of not having to argue with my dad right now instead of worrying about what might happen later tonight.
As I was eating, I noticed my phone begin to light up on the counter as it started to ring. I looked at the screen and saw that it was Harry calling me. I was surprised to see that he was awake right now considering how much he complained about having to get up at this time the other day, but I guess it was about thirty minutes later now though.
I stared at the phone screen until I saw it go black signaling that he was transferred to voicemail. I probably should’ve answered, but just kept remembering everything that my dad had said to me last night, and after thinking about it one last time, I knew what I needed to do.