“Just listen to what my aunt said,”
“Don’t let it bother you and just ignore it,”
That was all Harry would ever say to me in this situation. I wished that he would give me some other advice. I get that maybe he doesn’t have any other advice to give me to help me out, but it would be nice if he would at least try.
All I could do right now was take this silence as him maybe thinking of other things that he could say to help me out, I knew he probably wasn’t though. I knew to him that this was no big deal, and he thought that I could just easy follow what he told me. I tried telling him that me, like most girls, often had trouble not caring about what people thought of them.
I try my best not to care, and no matter how much I told myself I didn’t care about what that person thought of me, there is still that part of you that doesn’t believe what you’re telling yourself, and you’d really rather have that person, who you’ve probably only talked to once, like you. Even if you don’t think you’re ever going to talk to them again, you don’t want them to dislike you. It’s the constant need that I had for acceptance that really bothered me.
I tried to get across to Harry that it wasn’t as simple for me as it was for him, but he just didn’t see it. I probably could’ve tried harder to get him to listen to me, but I kind of felt like he wasn’t listening or he didn’t care enough at the moment.
I realized that he hadn’t said anything about his practice today to me yet, so that made me a bit hesitant to ask him. It meant either it just went okay and didn’t think to say anything about it, or his practice could’ve gone awful and he didn’t feel like discussing it right now. When I did ask him about his practice on the drive back to my house, he told me that it went a bit better, which was good. On the rink all Zack really did was try and make him trip.
Then Harry told me about what Zack and Adam were teasing him about before practice started. Using the word teasing sounded so elementary, but I guess if you thought about it, that is really what they were doing, which just goes to show how immature they are.
Anyway, the things that they were saying to Harry were the same things that they were making up and bothering me about earlier in the lobby. It was about how they thought that Harry had taken me out for breakfast and that he was going to take me out for dinner too.
The more I thought about it though, the more that I wished Harry actually would take me out for dinner tonight. With everything that is going on and everything that has been happening lately, going out for a dinner sounded really nice. I was for some reason nervous to ask him if he actually did want to go out for dinner tonight.
I hated that I had gotten this idea from the stupid things that Zack was saying today, but I guess it really didn’t matter where I got the idea from.
Today also would be a good day to go out since with everything going on with my dad I really didn’t care if I got home late, and he’d most likely know who I was with anyway so I wouldn’t have to worry about him calling Bella’s mom only to have her say that I hadn’t been there with them at all like she said last time.
I really had no reason to be mad at her for telling my dad that I wasn’t with them though because that was completely on me, she was just telling my dad what she knew. I was just still mad at her for telling my dad about Harry and I without my full consent. I told myself to just quit thinking about all this nonsense right now and just ask Harry what I wanted to ask him.
I cleared my throat and began to speak up finally.
“Would you maybe want to go out for dinner tonight?” I finally asked him,
“I mean it’s been awhile since we’ve really gone out together, and I don’t know it just seems like a nice idea,” I added, although I regretted it when I saw him with an unsure look on his face.
“I mean yeah it does sound nice, but with everything happening, I’d just rather get you back to your house right now,” he told me, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t upset.
With the conflicts and stuff going on right now, I wanted to go out to get away from it all right now, but he didn’t want to go out because of it all. He just seemed so distant right now and it made me think that he had something better that he wanted to do right now. I’m not quite sure what it could be though, I mean he doesn’t have many friends anymore, and if he wanted to go do something with his aunt or Ben, he could just tell me because I wouldn’t mind.
I was thinking about maybe asking him what his plans for the rest of the night were, but I decided that would probably be pushing it. I told myself that I was just over thinking this, probably because I was just upset and so worried and nervous about having to go back to my house right now when the truth was I really didn’t want to.
Maybe since I was getting home before my dad I could just go upstairs and hid in my room forever. I knew that was nonsense and couldn’t happen, but right now I wished that it could. Harry began to drive into my neighborhood, and once we reached my house, he parked across the street from the house, and we both said bye to each other as I was getting out of the car.
Once I had crossed the street and was in my driveway, I tried back around to face the road to give Harry a quick wave before I headed to my door since he usually stayed and waited until I was in my house until he left. When I turned around though I saw that he was already leaving and I stood and watched as his car drove out of the street my house was on until I couldn’t see him anymore. I sighed and turned back around to walk up my driveway.
When I was at my door I out of habit reached my hand into the pocket of my hoodie in search of my key, but then I remembered that I never grabbed it when I had stormed out of my house last night. I was praying that the door was unlocked as I reached for the knob, but of course I was let down when the knob wouldn’t budge.
I was frustrated at Harry right now since the one time I actually needed him to stay and make sure that I got into the house was the one time that he would leave before I even made it up the driveway. He seemed in such a hurry to leave so I wasn’t going to bother calling him to see if he could help me out in anyway.
I knew that the back door of my house was locked, as well as all the windows too, so I was pretty much locked out. I let out a clearly annoyed sigh for only myself to hear, and sat down on the porch step. I was stuck out here until my dad came home, and it was really my goal to not see him today, but I guess I was going to.
And to make matters worse it seemed the longer that I sat out here, more wind was coming, and it was just getting colder and colder by the minute, and all I had on was some yoga pants, a t-shirt, and a light hoodie, and my dad wasn’t set to come home for at least another couple hours.