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4. 31/03/14

"Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time.
It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other."

- Anon


No picture today, it doesn't seem right. The thing about this quote is that it doesn't quite sum it all up. With my sister, I never could tell her I loved her. But I loved her so dearly before she was even born, we all did. Now I can only talk to a stone statue of a baby enveloped by angel wings, and a grave saying 'born asleep' on it. Bethany passed away only weeks before her due date. We think it was caused by a blood condition in the family that miraculously never affected me, but it could be anything. It was a medical effort just to get my brother born.

Honestly, It's pretty damn painful to think of Bethany. You could be thinking 'consider yourself lucky, you can't truly miss somebody who was never there' but oh, how I wish that was true. Sometimes I imagine this sweet little girl with my red hair, walking beside me holding my hand. I'm grateful for Ethan, of course, I love my brother so much. But I just wish Bethany was here. I wish I could at least meet her, hear her voice, hear her favorite color. Simply see what she looks like.

I wish I could tell her how much I love her and not have the words drift into space.


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