Chapter One: New and Broken Beginnings
I always loved the feeling of summer. Great expectations, the suns warmth radiating across the many small holes of your skin and causing your cheeks to flush with warmth, but it may also be the symptoms of love acting up. Beware, you may have just caught the virus. I know I did, I used to love the feel of his tan skin and black hair. His green eyes were covered by thick framed eyelashes like long dusty feathers which added to the rock and roll feeling he'd always carried with him. His strong jaw which I would cup with my hands and cross over the smooth silk of his skin, and as I would caress him gently, his sweet melodic yet husky voice would speak into my ears, whispering songs of sweet nothings into my ears. But then it came with a sweet rise yet heavy fall, the feeling of a high tide of pain swept over me as he said to me, almost apathetically and indifferently, like the past time we had spent together meant nothing at all to him.
"I can't do this anymore, it's been good in the long run but it's time to move on. It's been to long".
Even today as I simmer down to the car my parents had set up for me the words rang in my ear like a bell constantly on repeat, like a voice mail echoing because of the sentimental imagery it had brought along with its army of words, and it didn't even let me leave a tone after the beep.
I stopped at the car, its elongated silver arm opened and stretched out to me, allowing me room to enter and sit and soon the arms would encase me and trap me away from the people I needed the most, my parents. I wasn't the type of girl who would normally love to be with her parents. I used to be the rock-stars girlfriend, the irony of it all. I was the girl who partied all night without any room for sleep breaks, the no sleep breaks still stayed but now I was the hushed girl trying to mend my shattered heart. The pieces left on the floor for me to pick up, the glass shards scraping me every time I tried to forget about them and store them away in my heart. If only I could cut him as he did with me with the shards I had cut myself on constantly.
I sat in the protective body and just as I was about to close the door a shoe stopped the door and a pale hand overlapped the framing of the car door. The door was pulled wide open an in the view was the face of my mother, her bittersweet smile burning through me as my throat began to sting me with the unheard wails I wanted to release. Her eyes had dark circles from endless nights of constant arguing and throwing of items. Love was love and despite the rumours of it lasting for a lifetime it just wasn't the case. It all had to end someday. We just had to anticipate the day when it would happen.
I wanted to jump out of the car and hug her but behind her was my father. The Divorcer and in front of him was my mother the divorcee. I couldn't show my bias. I didn't want to. I was torn by love, my wounds still fresh and now they just decided to add salt and fire. It was like the world was out for blood. My blood, my feelings that my blood coursed through my veins. It was like my own heart was attacking me. I wanted out. I just wanted to get away from everything and it just so happened that my parents had wanted the exact same thing, only they yet again decided what had to be done for me once again. I stared at her, my lips pressed into in thin line and the pain and pressure exerted onto it.
I took shallow breaths, I felt like I was going to explode had I needed to look at her face any longer. Love had always been a pain, why did they decide to make it a battle?
“I’m sorry sweetie, I know this is hard but your father and I talked this through and we wouldn’t do anything that wouldn’t be the best for you” she said, the forced smile re-appearing on her face. The falseness of the smile left shivers down my spine as I stared at her with as much as disgust as I could muster. My jaw clenched as I tried to bite back the river of words that I wanted to spill to her.
“Sure it is. Of course everything you do for me is for the best isn’t it dear mother?” I spat with as much as venom I could in my voice. How could they do this to me? How could they be so inconsiderate to me?
“Please Alicia, don’t make this hard for me and for your… father. We will always love you. We are sending you to some family friends we love very much everything we do is for the best”. I sighed after she finished her sentence, and slammed the car door shut, not really caring for the feelings of hers which I may have destroyed. The car engine roared as the car moved slightly, my mother hung on to the car like a claw not wanting to leave her ‘Darling Child’ alone.
I told the driver to stop the car and as I said it the car came to an immediate halt. I took a deep inhale as I closed my eyes and scrolled down the window. I rolled my eyes slightly as I lowered down the window needing to collect information I had missed out. The vital information that truly mattered.
“Who exactly am I going to live with?” I asked, trying to not convey a hint of emotion within my voice. Gulping down the water I had collected within my throat and exhaled. I expected it to be some kind of a hippie family my mother always used to get along with. She was just like that.
“Oh you don’t know? The Tomlinsons!”.
You can’t be serious.