Filmmaker Wannabes: Like a Prayer

Tyler and Rich are given a simple task by their producer: Film his sister's wedding. That doesn't seem like such a hard task now, does it? But when the bride develops a crush on one of our filmmakers, a murder happens on sight, and family rivalries break out...all hell breaks out within the church.

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3. The Wedding

INT – CHURCH

(TYLER and RICH set up their camera next to the front steps of the chapel)

MACCREEDY:

Excuse me. You two must be the videographers Mr. Polk phoned in about?

TYLER:

Why yes, we are. Tyler Sebert and Rich Cornell: Indie Filmmakers at your service.

RICH:

But as of this moment, we’re just the hired videographers.

MACCREADY:

How nice. I sure hope you make the wedding look as perfect as the couple who are about to get wed today.

TYLER:

Sure thing, Padre.

(DEDRICH enters with HYPHEN who is acting as his best man)

RICH:

Is that the groom?

MACCREADY:

Why yes, it is.

TYLER:

Perfect! I’ll go ask him how he would like this baby shot.

RICH:

No, Tyler-

(TYLER walks up to DEDRICH)

TYLER:

Excuse me, Mr. Marshal?

DEDRICH:

Who are you?

TYLER:

Tyler Sebret, the great filmmaking genius of such films as-

DEDRICH:

Don’t care.

TYLER:

Gotcha. But today I’m acting as your videographer and I was wondering how you would like your wedding to be filmed?

DEDRICH:

Is this guy serious?

(HYPHEN shrugs)

TYLER:

I am more than serious. You want your memories to turn out perfectly, don’t you?

DEDRICH:

What I want is some peace and quiet before the wedding so if you don’t mind-

TYLER:

Ah, yes. EVERYBODY SHUT UP! THIS MAN NEEDS SOME PEACE AND QUIET! Now as I was saying-

DEDRICH:

Listen Tyson-

TYLER:

Tyler.

DEDRICH:

I don’t give a shit. You annoy me. Please, start scooting before I make you scoot.

(A large burly man with a fancy mustache walks up)

HUMPHREY:

Ah, son!

(The man clasps his hand on DEDRICH’s back)

DEDRICH:

Hello, father.

HUMPHREY:

I am so proud of you, finding a beautiful woman to spend the rest of your life with. Today is going to be such a great day!

TYLER:

I’m guessing the cash bar is open, Sir?

HUMPHREY:

Why do you say that?

TYLER:

Just an assumption.

DEDRICH:

Hyphen, please show Trey out of my sight.

(HYPHEN nods and grabs TYLER by the collar)

TYLER:

It’s Tyler.

DEDRICH:

Whatever.

(HYPHEN drags TYLER back to his filming spot and drops him beside RICH. HYPHEN eyes the two and walks away)

RICH:

Who was that?

TYLER:

The best man.

RICH:

Hm. He seemed nice.

TYLER:

Well. I guess I’m not gonna get anything out of the groom. So that leaves me with the bride.

RICH:

Oh, Tyler. You can’t be serious.

TYLER:

I’m just gonna pay Jenny one quick visit is all.

RICH:

Tyler! This is all a simple point and shoot operation. Who cares what the bride and groom think?

TYLER:

I do! Now if you excuse me.

(TYLER walks off)

 

INT – BRIDE’s ROOM   

(JENNY wipes the tears from her eyes as he maid of honor tries to calm her down)

LYLA:

It’s going to be okay, Jenny!

JENNY:

I’m marrying a monster, Lyla. He doesn’t love me at all! All he wants from me is my money.

LYLA:

If that’s true, then why don’t you tell somebody?

JENNY:

I can’t. Something seriously terrible will happen if I tell anyone. That includes you! So whatever you do, don’t go blabbering to anyone what you just heard!

LYLA:

I won’t. Cross my heart.

JENNY:

Oh my God, I’m a nervous wreck.

LYLA:

It’s okay, Jenny. What you need is something to take your mind off of the wedding.

(JENNY takes out a bottle of pills. LYLA swipes them and throws them out the window)

LYLA:

NO! Jenny, that’s not the answer.

JENNY:

Lyla, those were my meds. I’m a nymphomaniac.

LYLA:

Oh. Well I didn’t know that.

JENNY:

Yeah.

(Awkward silence)

LYLA:

I’ll go get those for you.

(LYLA quickly gets up and exits the room. JENNY rubs her eyes as a knock comes to the front door)

JENNY:

Well that was quick. You better have gotten those pills because I’m getting pretty-

(She opens the door to reveal TYLER)

TYLER:

Excuse me. Miss Polk? Hi, I’m Tyler Sebert and-

JENNY:

Take me.

(JENNY rips off the top of her wedding dress)

TYLER:

I am so fired…

(JENNY grabs TYLER by the tie and pulls him inside the room. The door slams behind him)

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