It's 6 a.m. And we are just now leaving the hospital. God, it's been a long night. A long night filled with sadness, exhaustion, and happiness in the end. Now all I want is to be in bed, sleeping away this nightmare of a night.
Walking along the corridors of the building built solely for the health of people, my friends and I trudge along, making out way out the front door and into the parking lot.
Zayn, Hazz, and I all pile into the cab of Glinda's baby blue Chevy, the white leather seat cool from the morning chill. It's quite cold for Kansas, Zayn cranking the heat in the pick up truck.
I lean my head on Hazz's shoulder, resting my eyes as Zayn leans on the window on the passenger side. The three of us are utterly exhausted.
Turning on the ignition with a tired sigh, Harry pulls out of the hospital parking lot, leaving our dear friends Liam and Niall behind. The Irish boy refused to leave the bedside of Liam, the doctors keeping a close eye on the Wolverhampton boy after his fatal episode tonight.
The 50 mile drive back to Em and Glinda's house was a long one, Harry and I striving to stay awake and Zayn dozes off to sleep. I turn off the heat and lightly blast the radio to try to keep the two of us awake while still allowing the Muslim boy to sleep.
"You ok, Lou?" Harry asks, his deep, raspy voice filling the car. I lift my head off my best friends shoulder, giving him a confused look, cool morning air blowing my hair around due to the opened windows.
"Yeah...why do you ask?" I question, genuinely confused. Tonight wasn't about me. It shouldn't matter if I'm ok or not. Liam is our one priority.
Harry's green eyes meet mine for a mere two seconds before returning to the road, the Kansas sun starting to illuminate the sky. A smirk grows on his face, his dimples showing deeply in his cheeks.
"Lou, you've been my best friend for four years know! I know when you're upset. You haven't been yourself since we left home. Saying goodbye to Eleanor was hard enough as it is for you. Now everything with Liam and the fact that Emalee has a little thing for you is just adding to that. I just want to make sure you're ok..." The curly haired boy mumbles, his usually bright green eyes now a dull shade, exhaustion evident on his face.
I smile kindly at the young man next to me. He's been my friend through everything and the fact that he cares so much about me through all of this makes me feel more brotherly love towards the cheeky boy.
"Thanks Hazz...that's means a lot." I reply, leaning myself onto his side once more, singing along with the radio.
The hospital called me about an hour ago explaining Liam's stable condition. Great. I was hoping maybe he wouldn't make it through the night. Might as well get rid of him too, right?
Of course Emalee was thrilled to hear he was okay. The little traitor. She's probably been whoring around with all five of them, just like she always does.
Ugh, why me? Why do I have to deal with that and call it a daughter? If my son had just been born first...if Emalee had died instead, everything would've been fine.
Instead, I lost my perfect son, my little Todd, and am stuck here with that mistake named Emalee. What did I ever do to deserve this? Why must I go through a living hell every single day?
I take a long drink out of my glass cup, the translucent liquid inside failing to numb my senses, to drown out the memories of death and suffering. I refill my glass, pouring more vodka in to the rim of the cup. Sighing, I take a sip, the alcohol burning my throat as it rolls down y throat.
"Mama? The room is clean...can I go to bed now?" Emalee requests as she comes walking around the corner, her short brown hair pushed back with a headband, hands adorning rubber gloves. She looks exhausted, dark bags forming underneath her eyes, a red bruise showing on her cheek.
I can't help but smile with satisfaction, the realization that I marked her with my hand becoming visa me in my brain. A burst of pride fills me as I lounge there on the couch, watching my young daughter work herself to death. Oh how I wish she would just keel over and die one of these days.
Sitting up slightly, glass of vodka in one hand, black pistol in the other, my sinister grin grows as fear fills my daughter's face. I chuckle deeply, throwing my head back in laughter.
Oh how I could get used to this, Emalee slaving around the house while I drink to my hearts content, frightening her whenever needed with my dear pistol. I lock eyes with the young girl, blue eyes on blue eyes, practically identical.
"Mama...what's that for?" Emalee questions, her blue eyes moving from mine down to the gun in my hand. I glance down at the object, looking at it adoringly.
"This..." I explain, bringing the pistol up to my eyes, shaking it slightly to make sure I still have her attention,"this is a little present I have for...later." I finish, smiling evilly as a look of shock forms on Emalee's.
"Don't you dare hurt them!" She exclaims, eyes widening as she covers her mouth with her gloved hands.
Slowly, I stand up off the leather couch, my mouth slightly agape. I set the vodka bottle down on the coffee table, twirling the gun around my finger slightly, pointing it at my daughter.
"What did you just say?" I question, my grip tightening slightly on the guns barrel, the alcohol totally taking over my actions. I am know longer in control, my words slurring slightly.
Emalee is white as a ghost, her blue eyes rounder than any I've ever seen. She is literally shaking, her breathing barely visible.
"Nothing...Mama. It was nothing. I'm sorry!" She says, fear evident in her words as she starts to step back away from me.
With every step she takes back, I take two closer, always keeping up with her. Eventually, I have her pinned up against the wall, tears now spilling out of her eyes.
"Mama please..." She begs, "Stop..." Her voice drops to a whisper, her body cringing away from me as i stroke the side of her face with the pistol in my grasp.
I smile at her, not feeling one but sympathetic towards her, her pleas pushing me to continue. "And if I don't...?" I question, applying pressure to her cranium with the weapon, sobs now exploding from her chest.
I set the gun, hearing the click as I pull back the lever. Emalee just stands there, begging, sobbing, pleading for her life. I've never felt so empowered, so in control. So...empty.
It's at that moment that everything comes flooding back. Images of Todd as a little boy, never wanting to get muddy or play sports. Always wanting to play with Emalee instead, playing house and Barbies with her as children.
I never suspected a thing. Not even when I found him in Emalee's room one day, applying makeup to his face while wearing her skirt and bra. I just thought it was a phase, that he would grow out of it. I thought he was just a special boy, different than all the rest.
That all changed when Harmonie came. She is the one that brainwashed him. She's the one that filled his heads with unnatural thoughts. Harmonie is the one that made my son believe he was gay.
I couldn't handle it, the day he told me he was homosexual. It was all too much. I drank and I drank but I couldn't get that bit of information out of my head.
"Mama...I'm gay...I've always known this inside. I've always been different and I never really understood why. Harmonie, she helped me figure it all out! " he had explained to me with a smile in his bedroom that day, the day he died.
It was that moment that I ran to my office, gripping onto the gun in my desk. Striding back to my sons room, I enter, tears streaming down my face as I conceal the weapon behind my back.
"You can't be gay, Todd. It's not normal" I had screamed out, his smile dropping from his face. He sighs, running a hand through his messy brown hair, blue eyes sad and dull.
"I was never meant to be normal, Mama. I'd rather die today a gay man than live a hundred years as a lying, straight boy." Todd explains, a tear falling down his rosy cheek. His face goes pale as I pull the gun out from behind my back.
"Then so be it..." I mumble, pulling back the lever with a click. It all went fuzzy from there, the amount of alcohol I had consumed that day totally preventing me from remembering my actions.
The only thing I remember is that he had begged and pleaded for his life, just like how his sister is right now.
"Oh my God..." I whisper, returning back to the present, escaping my memories. "I killed Todd..."
It's at that moment that Louis, Harry, and Zayn storm through the door, freezing at the sight of me pinning a pistol to Emalee's head.