Saying goodbye to Niall is something I must do every day, even though it kills me. I have to force the words out of my mouth, trying to make myself sound happy so I don't worry him. But once the phone is hung up, I'm an emotional mess.
The fact that the boy I love is so far away from me and all I can hear on a daily basis is his sweet Irish voice makes me miss him more than anything in this world. Especially the four other boys that I've grown to love. The boys that my kids have grown to love and refer to as their "uncles".
Learning what Liam had done to himself, hearing the pain in Niall's voice, it was heartbreaking. I never realized things were this bad for the kind, brown eyed boy. He has literally lost himself.
To think that it would be so easy for this to happen to someone, it's incredibly sad. The dark, depressing thoughts overwhelming you to the point where you turn to self harm. I wish there was a way for me to help Liam and all the people suffering from this.
Fighting to hold back the tears in my eyes, I drop down onto a chair in the kitchen, feeling utterly helpless. How could such a sweet boy bring so much pain and suffering upon himself and his friends?
My kids run around me and the house, screaming joyfully with not a care in the world. They didn't have to do deal with these sadnesses, not yet. I envy their carefree lives.
My head placed in between my hands, I let the tears fall down my cheeks, allowing the pain and sorrow for my friend to wash over me.
"Wendy? You otay?" I lift my head quickly, wiping my eyes in the process as I turn towards the little blonde girl standing next to me.
I smile down at her, her little toothless mouth fumbling on the word "okay". I lift her up into my arms, hugging her to my chest.
Lily's little arms grip onto me, resting her curly haired head on my shoulder. She begins to hum a song to me, creating an even bigger smile onto my face.
In so many ways, this little girl reminds me of Liam. The way she cares about others feelings, how sweet and understanding she is for such a young being. How just her small smile can brighten a room in seconds.
"I wuv you, Wendy!" Lily explains, giving me a sweet kiss on the cheek. I chuckle slightly, tears welling up in my eyes once again.
"I love you too, baby girl..." I reply, kissing her on the forehead before placing her back on the floor. The small girl runs off, the three young boys calling her name out in the front yard.
I watch her disappear around the corner, the front door opening and closing soon after. That little girl is a special one.
Tears escape from my eyes, me no longer being able to hold them off. I take a shaky breath, dropping my head back into my hands as sobs erupt through my body.
My fists ball up in my red hair, slightly tugging on the thick strands. If they had stayed here, this would have happened. Everything would have been okay.
I cry for what seems like a long time, wishing there was something I could do to help them. I couldn't go to them, my lack of money being an obstacle and the fact that I have children to take care of here makes this impossible as well.
Finally, I am defeated, not coming up with a helpful solution. I must stay here, for now. My kids need me.
"Liam has the boys, he will be ok." I tell myself, trying and failing to sound convincing.
As I sit there, mixed up in my thoughts and emotions, I don't even acknowledge the happy, excited screams coming from my kids outside. I don't even notice the person walking trough my house, making there way into the kitchen.
"Hi Wen..." An extremely familiar voice says, causing me to freeze in my chair. Slowly, I lift my head out of my hands, turning towards the owner of the voice with wide eyes.
"Harmonie...?" I whisper before everything goes black.