"Harmonie...I'm gonna find you..." I whisper to myself, stinging agony soaring through my body as I slice yet another cut deep into my scarred wrist.
I can't take it anymore, the loneliness, the feeling of total helplessness. It's all too much for me. Every day, I'm reminded of the girl I lost.
"Come find me Liam...I'm waiting..." Harmonie's angelic voice whispers from within the darkest corners of my mind. Her voice, it haunts me, pushing me closer and closer to the edge. Until finally, I dove off the end.
"I'm coming Harmonie...baby, I'm gonna find you...I'm gonna find you..." I begin to slit faster cuts, piercing deeper into my tanned flesh. There isn't one inch of my skin left unscarred, untouched.
The overwhelming sadness, the depressing darkness, pours out of me in a river of crimson red. The painful feeling only lasts a second, replaced soon after by an indescribable release.
I never thought it would get to be this bad, Harmonie leaving me. I didn't think I would ever turn to this, especially after quitting for so long.
What are we doing here? It seems like a big waste of time. Harmonie Horan is out there somewhere waiting for me. We need to find her...I need her back.
Tears well up into my eyes, dark thoughts of never finding her swarming in my head. How could I ever think this would work? 'There's no way we will find her' I think to myself.
I'm not strong enough for this. I can't bear the pain that is sure to come when we can't find my lost girl. It's like I'm back to square one, the darkness taking over me just as it had so many months ago.
Taking one last slice into my tender skin, I don't even realize that I'm no longer alone.
"Liam...no...not again..." A familiar Irish accent groans from the bedroom door, me taking no notice to it as I wrap my bleeding arms around my numb legs, slowly rocking back and forth on my heels.
"Harmonie..." I beg, tears falling down my round cheeks. It literally feels like my heart is eating itself from the inside out. I allow myself to be fully enveloped into the blackness of my own heart, losing every bit of myself.
"I'm gonna find you...Harmonie..."I promise, my voice deep and barely above a whisper. My brown eyes begin to cloud over as I completely surrender to the darkness.
Bits and pieces of old memories flash behind my closed eyelids, reminding me of days full of light and laughter.
A musical laugh that I once knew fades in and out as a lovely girl's voice whispers my name, calling me to her.
"Liam..."she whispers seductively. I can feel the pull, her voice enticing me to go to her.
"...Liam.." She whispers once again, her melodic voice entwining itself around me, dragging me slowly out of the dark haze around me. The pace quickens, as does her voice.
"Liam...Liam...Liam...Liam..." Over and over, faster a faster , her voice beckons me to her, pulling me back to the light. It begins to change, her voice becoming deeper, stronger, more frantic
"Liam!" It begs, the deep accented voice pulling me back to consciousness. My eyes fly open, glancing around wildly. Where am I? What's going on?
The first thing I see is a crying Niall sitting next to me, his normally kind blue eyes wide with fear. I try to come up with something to say, wanting to comfort my friend. What's gotten him so worked up?
I reach my hand out to him, wanting to help calm him down somehow. That's when I see the bandage. A pure white bandage is tightly wound all the way up my arm. Looking at my other arm, I notice the same result. What have I done?
Frantically, I try sitting up, freaking out when I see a needle embedded in the top of my hand. What is this?!
"Calm down there, Mr. Payne. Everything is going to be alright. " A woman, whom I have never met before, in a navy blue uniform assures me. What's happening?
I hear a loud siren going off from somewhere nearby, blue and red lights lighting up the black sky outside of the window in the room I was in. Is it a room? I eye my surroundings, beginning to hyperventilate when I see several medical and emergency items. Am I in a ambulance?!
I turn my fear filled gaze towards the blonde Irish boy, seeing tears streaming down his face as sobs erupt from his chest. I open my mouth to speak, but am incapable of forming words.
"Li...I thought you were dead!" Niall cries out, his small body folding in on itself as he sobs hysterically I to his knees. Oh my God. What have I done to myself?