I woke up screaming for the third time that night, Will's glassy eyes still a fixed image beneath my eyelids. I'm covered in a cold sheen of sweat, and the blankets are twisted around me, trapping me, evidence of my twisting and turning during the night. The nightmares don't take me by surprise anymore, I've had them too many times for that, but tonight they seemed more real, more graphic, and it's that that makes my heart race and my cold, clammy hands grip the sheets, my body shaking.
I sit up in bed, still shaking. Tobias bursts through the door wearing only his training shorts, having obviously just been awakened by my screaming. "Tris! What is it?! What's wrong?!" he asks frantically, eyes roaming over my face and room, checking for danger. "Nothing," I answer, "just a bad dream." He lets out a breath, relieved. Leaning against the doorframe he asks, "You want to tell me about it?" I shrug, picking at my duvet. "It's no big deal. it was just... about Will," I mumble. "What about him?" Tobias asks, raising an eyebrow. "About when I.... when he died," I say to my duvet.
I hear him sigh, and sense rather than hear him move to my bed. It sinks slightly as he sits on the edge, but I keep my head down, focusing on unravelling the thread in my duvet. I feel his fingers underneath my chin, gently coaxing my head up. His face is gentle, gentler than I've ever seen it, and his eyes are filled with pain, comfort and something else. Something warm that makes my breath catch and my stomach erupt with butterflies. No, not butterflies. More like stampeding wildebeest.
You don't have to go through this alone, you know. It's not just you who has nightmares," He says softly. "I know that, but it's just that I keep thinking if I ignore it, it'll go away," I whisper. I don't know if it's the fact that we're this close, that we're sitting on a bed, or that Tobias is sitting here shirtless, that's making my cheeks hot, and it harder to swallow. He doesn't seem to notice though and rather than kissing me like i expected (and slightly hoped), he simply sighed and let go of my chin.
My head drops, disappointed, until he stands up and says, "Push over a bit. I need room for all this muscle." I smile slightly and move over on the bed, but I know he can tell I'm still on edge, because as he sits under the covers, he scoops me up and places me on his lap, tucking my head underneath his chin. "I meant what I said. You don't have to do this alone," he murmurs, "I'm here too." I smile slightly, "I know."
Later, when my breaths are even and my heart rate is calm, he moves me off his lap to lay on the bed. "Wait," I say, as he gets up. He looks down at me, one eyebrow raised. I clear my throat, "Stay. Please." He smirks, "you just can't get enough of me can you?" he winks. "Shut up," I mutter, grinning.
He lays down next to me, wrapping his arms around me as I lay my head on his chest. He leans down to kiss my head, as I feel myself slowly slipping into sleep, listening to his heart beating. "Goodnight Tris," he murmurs into my hair. "Goodnight Tobias," I mumble sleepily. As I begin to drift slowly towards unconsciousness, I hear him say three words that make me smile. Three words that make everything seem more bearable. Three words that were, "I love you."