I was a monster and I had to leave before the dark matter dragged them down with me.
A single tear ran down my cheek as I placed the letter on the soft grass by the grave. I turned around to never look back, that was a promise to me, but it was a promise I knew very well I wasn't going to keep.
I wanted to run, but I kept a steady walking pace, but as I walked further and further away, the tears streamed down my cheeks at a rapid speed. I wanted to stay there and I wanted to be there when they came. I wanted to see them one last time.
I wasn’t like them… not anymore. I had to go and I had to leave them. They would never truly understand. They would never understand how the power inside of me was swallowing me whole and threatened to drag me down with it. They were better than that; they would come far in this world.
This was our world, the world of the mighty Kirehe, the shadow hunters. The order with powers no human would ever be able to comprehend.
We were monsters in their eyes, as they could not comprehend the dangers of the dark matter that existed inside of us all.
There was no regret when I turned around to have a final look at the tombstone, but when I saw the familiar group of people approaching, I wanted to turn back and talk with them, just for the last time. I wanted to say goodbye to all of them.
But I couldn't get myself to do it. They didn't deserve to get a grim reminder of their loss thrown in their faces. But I did stop up and I looked at them from behind a large willow.
They were all dressed in black suits or dresses. They looked funny dressed all formal on such a normal boring day. They didn’t use to do that... I guess a lot of things had changed since I last where there. They still emanated the power of mighty creatures.
Rion, Matter and Micah were all dressed in suits, all black with black ties and black shirts. They looked too good to be true.
Oblivion was dressed in a beautiful black dress that in a way showed nothing and everything at the same time, it was long and gorgeous. She was gorgeous with her short black hair and light green eyes with golden specks. Model material and the most amazing personality... she was perfection.
They looked like something from a runway… this was a weird runway… a graveyard runway. That could totally be a thing. It probably was a thing.
I concentrated on them again… wanted to take them in as much as I could before they went away again. The way that they circled the grave… the way they looked at the tombstone, it made my insides turn ice cold. My tears dripped down in the soft grass, reminding me it was time to get away. To get away before they saw me. But I couldn’t go … not yet.
I needed to hear their voices and see them as they made each other smile. They were remembering someone, someone whose name I could not even remember.
I missed them so terribly much and I wanted to be with them again. They were my family and they were my everything. But now I had nothing and I was alone… not because of them but because of faith being a bitch and not really working in anyone’s favours.
“Vion…” his voice pierced the air and shot straight through my heart. But that’s when I saw Oblivion had fallen to her knees with her fists firmly planted in the ground. The earth cracked beneath them and as she screamed electricity shot through her and sent lightning bolts all around.
My heart broke and I wanted nothing more than to run to her and hold her tight. I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay, that she was going to be okay. But how could I tell her those lies. It wasn’t going to be okay, nothing ever was. We belonged together and we were broken without each other.
One, two, three, four and five. Our numbers. Our rank. Our destiny.
It was sad to think that I would run away from everything I had grown up with. The order and the people whom I had no blood relation to that had become my family over the years.
“I can’t feel her” Matters voice cracked at the end and he fell to the ground beside Vion, laying his arm around her, absorbing her lightning.
“What the bloody hell do you mean by you can’t feel her?! You need to be able to feel her! She’s. Still. Here!” His voice ripped the air apart and his eyes was filled with a promise of death. To whom that promise was to, nobody knew. It was probably some unlucky soul whom his wrath would unleash on.
“She’s either blocking me or she’s gone!” Matter was crying now, it was such an unusual thing to see. He had always been the strong one, the one who had always lifted us up, made us stronger. He was the oldest one, the strongest.
But this had broken him and I wasn’t sure he could ever be the same smiling, loving Matter. I looked at them as Rion was the only one standing now, as Micah sat on the ground on the other side of Vion. They held her as she broke down, beating the ground beneath her.
I stepped out from behind the tree and it was in that moment that he noticed the letter with the carefully written name on the envelope.
His entire position dropped and he looked broken as he held the letter as if his life depended on it. I ran toward him, screaming his name.
But he didn’t react. Nobody did.
I could almost touch him so I jumped into his arms. I waited for the sweet moment when I would finally feel his skin against me, feel his warmth.
A sudden rush of air shot through me like an arrow, but as soon as it came it disappeared. What the hell…
But I quickly forgot about that as a searing pain spread across the right side of my cheek. As I gently touched the spot the pain came back and a hiss escaped my lips.
What had happened? I had no idea… That was just until I tried to breathe through my mouth and it was like eating a fistful of grass, and I opened my eyes and everything was a lovely green colour that I realized that I had my pretty little head firmly planted in the fucking lawn.
What the bloody hell!
I picked myself up and brushed my simple dark blue dress off. I looked around and saw that I was right in front of them.
Matter looked straight at me... no he looked at something right behind me. I knew if I turned around and acknowledged it, there was no turning back. I wouldn’t be able to ignore the truth anymore… and I didn’t want to stop up and realize the terrible things that had happened. I wanted to run far away and just forget the world. Forget everything and climb into my little cocoon of denial.
I could live that way. I could forever believe that the truth was a horrible lie and that my lie was the perfect truth. Yes… that was my choice.
“Get up you three! Now!” Rion whipped out the orders and were once again the hard, stone cold man we all knew and loved. As he took upon the role as the leader, they simply obeyed. Normally I would be surprised that they would obey and snap out of it that easily. But they sensed something now… something dark, I could see it in their eyes. They were wary and they transformed into the Kirehe, they were born to be. The hunters of the night, slaying all the dark afterlife scum. There should be a Valayá somewhere near… a dark soul of a dead dark creature. They were looking for trouble as it was the only thing that made them feel alive. Most of them were invisible, but they could all materialize themselves. They were fed from human fear and, of course, their blood. They had once been light creatures, whom had wondered the world in peace, living as humans, but they had turned the light away as they had been killed. They were now angry, violent, and aggressive and consumed by dark matter in search for revenge.
It was our job to kill the dark matter part and take them to their destination in the afterlife. A kind of grim reaper for the Valayá
“What is THAT?” Vion asked with a scrunched up nose, she look disgusted, but something in her eyes told me she was scared. Oblivion was a lot of things, but she was never scared, thus her carefulness and eager to kill.
“A very powerful Valayá” Matter answered while shifting from foot to foot uneasily. This should be no problem for them, they were excellent warriors and they were the top five … top four… of the Kirehe community.
What the hell… where was this creature. Matter and I was usually the first ones to sniff out the Valayá’s. But I couldn’t sense anything, unless you counted the four strong Kirehe that stood before me. Where was this powerful Valayá?
They were all on guard and their killer instincts had kicked in. They were not somebody you wanted to meet a dark night… especially not when they were in a bad mood. They would fuck you up, light or dark creature. You did not mess with an angry Kirehe.
“It’s her… isn’t it? That’s why Matter couldn’t feel her before. She didn’t pass on…” Oblivion said and she once again fell to the ground, but this time it was like seeing a ragdoll being tossed to the side, lifeless and empty.
That’s when something clicked inside all of them. They understood.
“There’s a part of everyone and everything that is made of dark matter. In the Kirehe it’s our powers. But she was pure. She was made for a glamorous life, a rich and endearing life. I never got to give her that. She was everything to me and she deserved better. I loved her” he looked broken, but strong as the words spilled over his lips. A single tear ran down his cheek and I wanted nothing more than to just… touch him. Ease his mind.
My Rion, so broken, yet so strong.
“We all loved her. She was a part of us and they took her” these were the first words Micah spoke, but they were powerful and his eyes were full of strong emotions. I would hug him, but I would go straight through him, just like I had done with Rion. I still needed to figure out why.
I had left them, of my own free will. Why were they talking about me as if I was dead? And why couldn’t they see me…
“We’ll revenge you Ghost, even if it’s the last thing we’ll ever do”
That did it… they said my name and that wiped every doubt from my mind. I was the Valayá they talked about… I was whom they grieved. I had never really looked at the tombstone, maybe because I feared what the name said. Who laid in the ground under it. Who’s death it symbolized.
The answer what easy to find… so I turned around and I let the writing sink in.
Ghost Valeria Williams.
Born the 11th of November 1997 – Died the 12th of November 2015
A creature made of light
I was dead.
I was what my name said.