Once a week we visit his gravestone; our dear Augustus, dead before his time. We lay down flowers, short messages on bits of paper, and once (something that still remains though slightly damaged due to rainfall) a book Hazel had placed beside him herself; one I know the both of them have read. Clearly it was special to them, and she truly wants Augustus to keep it, because I've never known Hazel to want to give up a book. She'd left it by his side so willingly. I can't remember it's name now, but I do remember the navy blue of it's cover, a picture of very small size in the centre, and, as the cold wind flapped the pages briefly open that day she left it by his side, text of a size and font I knew I myself would struggle to read. We've also left a packet of cigarettes. Each day, myself, my husband or Hazel takes one from the packet, leaves it in the earth beside his place of burial, and it then remains there, in the ground, until the following day (sometimes this process is done a couple of times; once in the morning, once at noon). The thing is: of course, the cigarettes are never lit, as they are in the ground next to a gravestone far away from anyone in possession of a lighter.
The killing thing still has no power to kill. Gus' metaphor lives on. Because although everyday we are faced with and have to witness the fact he's gone, in our hearts he hasn't. To us (as I'm sure is the case with others after losing someone so close to them), he's still alive and well. To us, cancer is the killer, but has not yet done its' killing.
This past month, Hazel's been like a second child. Obviously she's feeling great devastation, as we all are, yet she's trying to be as positive as possible; something that's evident every time we see her. Her parents are completely fine with her coming to see us so often- they always think it'll be a distraction (from thinking of the death, I presume)- but I can't quite understand that; us being Gus' parents. However we try not to mention him too much (merely laying down flowers and cigars at his grave make us all cry)...instead, the focal points of our conversations range from what we've been up to, our jobs, Hazel's education and grades, and most commonly: her cancer.
Something that's been great news to us all (her parents included, I'm sure) is the fact Hazel's growing stronger and stronger with each breath. Each day, she's explained to us in great detail the 'wondrous sensations of breathing'- 'almost as if I'm a normal person'- she's experienced since her rapid recovery (that must be more than half way there now).
I'm so proud of her and the improvement she's made. Though I'm sure Augustus is so much prouder.
A/N: I apologise for not updating last week (my absence from writing wasn't in fact due to procrastination but forgetfulness), but to make up for it I wrote this chapter a day early! Now I won't need reminding to write tomorrow; the whole day I'm free to sleep, internet, work on another book I'm writing (though it's not online), and continue re-reading tfios :D
I'm not entirely sure where this story's going (and I admit it's not my best work), but I know I want to keep the bond between the Waters' and Hazel, because I like the idea of them becoming close after Gus' death (they're the only two relatives of his she's acquainted with...so she has something with her at nearly all times that also holds a part of him. It's almost as if there's something left of him; they're the only people who've approached the situation the same way she has. As they all loved and continue to love Augustus Waters).
However I am still unsure about future chapters, and despite having school and other things that could postpone one or two I do want to continue with this story as already it's got so many reads (which I must thank you all so much for; I'm honoured as I never believed only a couple of chapters in I'd have almost 200 people reading my words!), and I don't want to let anyone down.
So to avoid me getting major writer's block, if anyone's got any ideas please feel free to comment and I'll gladly take them on board.
I look forward to (hopefully) updating next Thursday
Later, Nerdfighters 👓 (and Happy Easter!)