The Seuss Games

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  • Published: 27 Mar 2014
  • Updated: 27 Mar 2014
  • Status: Complete
This story is my silly little twist on the first Hunger Games movie, known as the Seuss Games, ran by Dr. Seuss. Enjoy!

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1. The Seuss Games

             The Seuss Games....only the most horrendous gory games of them all. There have been like, 2 people who died in only 51 games. This year we knew it was going to be different though, and it was going to suck. Well, it was going to suck for us, the dictators of this city. Why is it going to be terrible, you may ask? Because in District Potato (named for its agriculture) someone actually volunteered as tribute. Who is stupid enough to volunteer for tribute in Potato? Seriously, they gonna get wrecked. The tributes are the Cat in the Hat and Batman. Why would they volunteer, you ask? Well, the Cat in the Hat wanted to be just like Katniss and win the Seuss games. He even referred to himself as Cat-In-The-Hatniss. Also he was Dr. Seuss’ son and was forced to go or be tickled really hard. But one problem was, he had Tourette's. He keeps saying random Dr. Seuss quotes. Batman joined for no reason, we will never know why, he works alone. 

    Anyways, the Seuss games started. The tributes were the Cat-In-The-Hatniss, Batman, Rue, Scrooge, Caspian Lizard, Sherlock Holmes, and Russell from Up, were put into the Arena: a giant washing machine. The Cornucopia ( a McDonalds) was lined with the newest Seuss Weaponry: rubber duckies, balloon animals, thumbtacks, and a submachine gun. Even as Dr Seuss’ son, the only advantages the cat in the hat was given a box of matches, a coat, and the other competitors were tied to trees. This years was different because Cat-in-the-hatniss moved from the semi-pro league to the pro-league. Cat-In-The-Hatniss set her eyes on the golden arches of the McDonalds Cornucopia. Batman stood in solitude, in his pod. Cat-In-The-Hatniss, was very nervous and tried to lighten the mood,”So.........,” Caspian stepped on a land mine before the timer went off. After a few awkward minutes of looking around, the gun went off. Rather then everyone running to get weapons, we all temporarily made an alliance to beat down Rue. Rue, that animal scat, she looks small and innocent and weak. She expects them all to help her, but we had a few tricks up our jumpsuits. We all ran over and dog piled on her. Sherlock Holmes did a nasty pile driver and burned her with a magnifying glass. Cat-In-The-Hatniss found an anchor in the pocket of her jumpsuit, and dropped it on Rue.  Russell was making a knot for no reason, and Scrooge was just yelling at Russell and Rue. The signature kazoo sounded and we backed away from Rue. Now she was in 1000 pieces, so they could move on to the Cornucopia. Cat-In-The-Hatniss said,” I guess Rue wasn’t as big of a threat as I thought, my bad.” (She was still a turd though).

    Cat-In-The-Hatniss got the thumbtacks, and threw them at Scrooge until he fell into the lake and drowned while cursing Christmas. Russell was still making his knot, and they pushed him into the lake too. Scrooge was now yelling at Russell underwater. Batman kept talking in his deep voice to Sherlock Holmes, and he cried himself to sleep, making him no longer a threat. Cat-In-The-Hatniss’ Tourette's kicked in. “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is you-er than you,” Batman replied,”Theres no one alive anyways,” He held up his cape. Cat-In-The-Hatniss and Batman were laughing about how easy it was to kill them all, but then they realized only one could live. Then Batman came up with the brilliant idea that they could die at the same time. For some reason Batman had deadly berries in his belly-bag. They both put them in their hands, and got ready to eat. On three, Batman ate the berries and died, but Cat-In-The-Hatniss tricked him and didn’t eat them. Batman’s last words were,”I’m batman.” Cat-In-The-Hatniss did a victory dance, and then thought about how hungry he was. The Seuss Games were now renamed to the Hungry people Games but that sounded terrible so it was renamed again to the Hungry Games. Some time later it was changed a third time to the Hunger Games. When Cat-In-The-Hatniss was released, he was given a medal defeated the evil Rue and Dr.Seuss asked if he liked the games. Cat-In-The-Hatniss’ Tourette’s kicked in again,”Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, its not going to get better. It’s not,” They had a good laugh. Then silly Cat-In-The-Hatniss was executed on the spot for treason. 

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