2. CHAPTER 1
Finally a nurse comes in to see if I'm awake, which I am. She doesn't say a word but starts checking my monitors and other things. The silence is honestly killing me because I'm not sure if something's wrong or what? She continued messing with the wires attached to my body. She walked over to a table near my bed and grabbed some liquid in a bottle that she began to pump into the IV bag standing by my bed. She then walked into the bathroom and washed out some bottles sitting on the sink. As she completed these tasks I wasn't able to hold in my curiosity.
"Why I am still alive?" I blurt out.
I wanted to know.
The nurse gave me a shocked look which soon subsided.
She calmly stated, "You were saved. And you should be thanking your lucky stars."
Saved? By who? I had made sure no one was home. I was finished. At least I thought I was. If my "lucky stars" were looking out for me I wouldn't be here, so obviously I'm not in a very gracious mood.
She seems to think for a second before asking the next question.
"Don't you regret it... At all?"
"What?" I ask.
Well she seems to say whatever's on her mind. I've never heard someone, especially a nurse, be so... blunt.
I thought for a moment. Deep down inside I knew I did regret it but honestly my life was so terrible that maybe I didn't. I have nothing. Therefore taking myself from this world wouldn't be hurting anyone really. I hesitate and as I'm about to reply to her question she walks towards the door and says,
"Dr. Waters will be in to check you soon then you may leave."
So apparently her question was rhetorical.
She told me I could leave, but where would I go? I can't go back to the family I was with, they deserve better than me. I knew they didn't love me because a few days before I tried... It... I heard them talking about how I was going to be adopted by another family, one with children more my age. Children? I'm 18 for goodness sakes why don't I just wait in the orphanage until I'm 19 and can live by myself. Although I've been feeling like I've been living by myself for ages.
You can be surrounded by people but still feel like you are the only one there.
It's been 3 years and it wasn't the first time I had thought to leave, this was just the first time I had acted on those thoughts. But of course "thanks to my lucky stars" I'm still here.
A tall man entered the room, wearing a name tag that said 'Dr. George Waters'
"Hi." I whispered quietly. Although I wasn't sure if I regretted my actions I still felt ashamed. Ashamed that I hadn't succeeded, because now I had to face the world with this "imperfection". The fact I had tried to take my own life. And honestly not feel much regret for it. I think.
"So you look great. But I'm gonna have to put you on medication and you'll have to continue therapy but we will have to be more consistent with those visits."
I nodded in approval.
"So, you can go home now." He said.
He began to walk out of the room but I stopped him.
"I don't have a home to go to."
He questioned me with his expression and then seemed to realize something.
"Ah, that's right you haven't been properly introduced."
My face must've shown my confusion because he quickly said.
"I'll call Simon and he can explain this all to you on your way to your new home."
"My new home? Where? With who?" I asked.
"Amber..." He said. "We've found your family."
Quickly he walked out of the room before I could question him further. I began to get up wanting to know more. My insides screaming to know more. My hopes went up a mile high as I wondered what it would be like to see my family again. To hug my father and mother. To hear my brother's laugh once more. It all seemed so amazing I jumped up from the bed forgetting that I was attached to about a million wires. As I began to sit down I felt a cold liquid being pumped into my veins as I slumped over into a drugged-induced sleep.
My mind was racing a mile a minute.
When I had woken up, Dr. Waters had exited the room but I couldn't stop thinking of what he had said.
'We have found your family.'
My family? But my family was dead.
A new sensation of hope swirled through me as scenarios gushed in my head of how it was possible for them to still be here. Alive. Coming for me.
A tall, hefty man walked into the room who introduced himself as 'Simon'. The first thing I noticed was his British accent.
He walked over to my bed and slowly helped me up and told me to get dressed.
I looked down embarrassed. Noticing for the first time I was in nothing but my hospital gown.
"Your clothes are in this bag."
He handed me my old Vera Bradley duffle bag. I took it and went into the bathroom adjacent to my hospital room. I changed quickly and returned to Simon on his cellphone.
"Yes I just picked her up. Yes. YES Lou I know we'll be careful. Yes she seems to be doing fine. Ok. See you soon. Bye."
He hung up and turned to me "Ready to go?"
"Yes I think so."
I was still wondering who this man was and how he had any connection to my family but I was willing to do anything to see them again.
We walked outside the hospital and there was a limo waiting out front. Simon walked toward it opening a door and ushering me in. He must have noticing my hesitation and questioning look. But he calmly said "Go on in." So I did.
We drove for about an hour before we reached the Chicago airport, which I've been to numerous time considering I lived only an hour from it and my family used to travel all the time to Florida before my grandmother passed away. I thought my life was over then but little did I know the worst was to come.
We boarded our flight and I was sat next to the window and Simon. As I sat there he again returned to his phone so I looked out the window as the world passed below us. Slowly my eyelids drifted close and I feel into a deep sleep
When I woke up I looked out the window to see a vast blur of blue below us. Confused I tapped Simon next to me who was still on his phone and asked if we were over some big lake or something?
He laughed and said "No actually we are over the Atlantic."
The shocked look on my face probably showed because he soon said "We are going to London."
"London??" I asked. Again shocked.
He smiled and replied "Yes, that's where your new family lives."
"Oh." I said. A little confused on why he said "new family". Must've just been some mistake.
The plane finally landed and I felt like I was on some alien planet. Another limo was there waiting for us and again I hopped in.
The drive was a blur. The excitement and worry were bubbling inside me and I knew at any moment I could burst.
We pulled up a long driveway and stopped as Simon got out of the car and help me out as well.
Let's just say my breath was knocked right out of me.
The house before my eyes was gorgeous. It reached almost 4 stories and the front lawn stretched almost an acre. I could see a pool in the backyard and a hammock laying between two flowering trees. A small smirk appeared on Simon's face as he guided me towards the front French double doors.
As I walked in the house I was again taken aback by the huge foyer that lay in front of me with a spiral stair case to the upstairs. Simon guided me into the living room which had gorgeous window overlooking the beautiful scenery.
"Here take a seat." Simon said ushering to the leather couch.
I obeyed and he said he was going to go get the boys. At this my heart sank for that couldn't be my family. I held my ground not wanting to cry in front of my new "family".
Simon returned to the room with a boy around my age with medium length brown hair wearing a denim jacket and blue jeans rolled up at the ends with red toms on his feet. As I turned to face the boy his face lit up and he asked Simon,
"Is this her?"
Before I knew what was going on I was encased in this boys arms and loosing my breath.
Simon seemed to notice because he chuckled and said "Louis let go before you squeeze her to death."
"Oh yeah! Sorry." The boy who's name was apparently Louis.
"Hi! I'm Louis!" He confirmed my suspicion. "And I'm your long-lost cousin!" He exclaimed.
I'm glad I was still near the couch because I felt myself falling and I landed my butt in the seat.
Louis looked at me with a worried face. And Simon was about to explain when four other boys came crashing into the living room.
"Hey Simon can we come in yet?" Yelled a boy with brownish-black hair and a perfectly white smile that seemed to comfort me a little.
"Might as well Zayn." Sighed Simon.
Soon I was overtaken by voices screaming out hellos and names, introducing themselves to me asking how I was and telling me how glad they were to finally meet me. I couldn't make out a single word because it had finally hit and sank into me.
My family was dead. This was not them and I would never see my real family again. I felt the last shreds of hope escaping my body as the salty tears threatened to pour over.
And then they fell.