Being my usual self, I ended up avoiding Jack in person as much as I could. We still talked and texted, but I was way too embarrassed to look him in the eyes. I wanted him so bad, then… I just got nervous and ran out on him. Kenadie made me feel better, explaining to me that I wasn't the only one who's done that, but its still made me feel really stupid. First I was rejected, a few times, then I chickened out myself. I hated hormones. They trick you into thinking all kinds of things, than they just turn on you and make you feel like shit on the bottom of someone's shoe. I could live just great without them.
It was Sunday and we already had our last day before Christmas break. Its hard to believe that it was December already. Its what I like about my school though. Our breaks were usually really long. We had almost all of December off. The twelfth to January fifth. It was fine by me, it only sucked when the teachers felt the need to load us up with homework to do all break. I never did it though.
I was over at Rian’s sitting in his bean bag chair. He was still secretly five years old at heart. He and Cassadee were on his bed making out. It made me feel really uncomfortable, even though I should actually be really used to it by now. They did everything together, while Jack and I had to keep everything a secret.
“I forgot something in my car, I’ll be right back.” Cassadee mumble, but just loud enough for me to hear it. I knew what that met, it was like her own little code. She gave him a quick kiss and got up leaving the room. Rian sat up looking at me.
“Having fun?” he joked.
“Oh, yeah. I love watching my best friend and his girlfriend suck each other faces off then her leaving to go get condoms.” I replied back sarcastically. He shrugged his shoulders and laughed too. “I should probably leave anyway. I don't want to watch you guys fuck.” I continued and got up.
“Before you go, why have to been so out of it recently?” I just shrugged and didn't say anything. “Does it have to do with your parents? Or Jack?” I sighed and looked at him.
“I was just stupid the other day then I felt really embarrassed.” I told him. I heard the car door shut outside, so Cassadee would be coming back in soon.
“What did you do?” he asked me.
“I was just really persistent on sleeping with Jack and I chickened out and it’s really not that important.” I told him. He nodded. Rian didn't have anything to worry about it. He was straight and had a girlfriend that was just as sexual as he was. They didn't have much to worry about as long as they were protected. I, on the other hand, actually hard to worry. I was a guy and more than likely the ‘bottom’ so I had to worry a little more about pain and preparation. I think that's what scared me the most. Before I could say anything else to Rian, my phone buzzed on his dresser. I walked over to it and unlocked it, checking the message.
‘Can you come over? I have something for you.’ - Jack
I smiled at the message and was about to reply back before getting another text.
‘Plus, I just really want to see you.’ - Jack
I swear that I could actually feel my heart melt inside my chest. Everyday, with every message, I felt myself grow stronger and stronger to him. “Go,” Rian said from the bed. I looked over at him. I gave him a questioning look. “Go,” he said again. “I know that's Jack. I can tell by that smile, you only smile like that when it’s Jack.” he laughed.
“Yeah.” I said and started to leave. “Bye, be safe.” I joke with him and he flipped me off. Sometimes it think there is something wrong with my friend group, but at the same time, I probably wouldn't be here without them. I ran into Cass on the way downstairs and told her the same thing that I told Rian. I’d rather my friends not have kids in High School.
I walked over to Jack's house and stood on his porch for a couple minutes. This will be the first time in a few weeks that I'm actually going to see him. It was stupid, he was my boyfriend, I should be able to talk to him about this kind of thing. It was starting to get really cold outside, so I knocked on the door and a few seconds later, Jack opened it up smiling at me. “hey,” he said and let me in.
“Hey,” I said back. He closed the door and bent down a little kissing me.I kissed him back, really craving him again. I missed the contact.
“I hope I wasn't interrupting anything with your family, I just thought about having a nice birthday dinner.” I looked at him really confused. “December fourteenth is your birthday, right?”
“Yeah,” I said and nodded slowly. “but it’s the thirteen, right?” I questioned.
“No, it’s the fourteenth.” he said. Shit. How the fuck did I forget my own birthday? Only a complete moron could actually forget that.
“Oh, I'm sorry. I actually forgot my own birthday.” I laughed. He did too. It made me really happy that he remembered my birthday and actually wanted to do something.
“Well, happy birthday.” he told me kissing me. “Lets go in the kitchen, I made a nice dinner for us.” I smiled and nodded. We walked into the kitchen together and sat down at the table. He handed me the plate of food.
“Steak? Seems kind of fancy for a seventeen year old birthday, don't you think?” I questioned, laughing a little, but put some on my plate.
“Yeah, I don't really make steak that often, so I decided why not?” I nodded and handed him back the plate. I took a bit and as always it was probably the best steak that I’ve ever eaten.
“Why don't you just become a chef or something. You’re really good at cooking.” he shrugged and ate his food.
“I like cooking, but I don't really have a passion for it. Its a lot of work and I'm really lazy.” he explained and laughed. “Oh hey, I have a present for you.” he said and got up. He came back a few minutes later with a little box. He handed it to my and opened it. “It’s nothing special, but I thought you might like it.” I smiled and pulled out the picks for my guitar. I looked at each one, some said my name and some of them hand band logos from bands that both Jack and I liked. “Sorry, its nothing big.” he said again. I sat down the box and got up walking around the table. I bent down kissing Jack.
“I love them, okay.” I smiled and kissed him again. He kissed me back then pulled away.
“If you're done eating, we can go into the living room and watch a movie or something?” he suggested, looking up at me with big eyes. Wow, he was beautiful. How did a seventeen year old kid like me get so lucky? I nodded and he got up taking care of the food. I went in the living room and sat down looking at each of the guitar picks individually. I really did like them.
Jack came into the living room with a couple glass and the wine that he never lets me have. “You’re actually going to let me drink without begging?” I chuckled.
“It’s your birthday, so I thought why not.” he told me sitting down next to me. “But if you really want to beg, I'm okay with that,” he wiggled his eyebrows at me.
“Nah, I’ll save the begging for later.” I told him in a suggestive voice. He sat the glass on the table and pour some of the wine in both of them. We drank some of it, talking about little things. “I'm sorry about a few weeks ago. Y’know, running out like that. I just felt so stupid afterwards.” I told him. He bumped into me with his shoulder and smiled.
“Hey, it’s okay. I get it. If it happens, it happens. Don't rush yourself, okay?” he said ending in a question. I nodded and he smiled, bending down to kiss my lips again. We laid on the couch, Jack's arm around me, running his fingers up and down my arm. It wasn't even late and I was getting tired. I wasn't really sure what movie was on, but I didn't really care. I just payed attention to how comfortable Jack was and paying attention to his heartbeat in his chest. I felt my phone in my pocket start buzzing. I shuffles around pulling it out and checking the caller I.D.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Hey, bro.” I heard Kenadie’s voice on the other end of the line. I mumbled a hey back and let her continue. “I'm still up north right with a couple friends. College has been tiring so far, but I just called you to say happy seventeenth birthday, hopefully our parents haven't given you too rough of a time.”
“Nah, they had to go babysit that old guy again.” I said. I felt Jack chuckle a little, making me smile.
“Well, then I hope that Jack is taking care of you.”
“How do you know I'm with Jack?” I asked and lent my head back on his shoulder.
“Because you’re Alex and if our parents aren't home, you’re usually over there.” I heard he laughed again. I nodded even though I knew that she couldn't see me. “Anyway, I should go. I’ll be home tomorrow and maybe we can go out to lunch or dinner or something for a belated birthday?” she asked. Ever since she started college, I haven't seen her as much.
“Yeah, okay.” I told her. She told goodbye and we hung up. I sat my phone on the coffee table and snuggled back into Jack. I looked up at him and he looked down. He kissed me, for the millionth time today. I put my hand on the side of his neck to keep him there and continued kissing him. He was such a good kisser, I could never get enough.
My hand roamed down his chest, slowly unhooking each of the buttons. My arm slid around the warm skin of his stomach and back, getting myself as close to him as I could, but like before, I still needed more.
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