I waited until the next day before thinking about going over to Jack’s house again, just to ensure that he was a lot more sober than he was the other day. I didn't want to see him like that. As always I waited until my parents went to work. My mom left early this morning, but my dad had some kind of construction thing going on at his work, so he was wasn't leaving until later, but later as in around three pm or so. I needed to sneak past him, if I was going over to Jack’s. I got ready, taking a shower and spending more time in the mirror than I teenager boy should. I was always really insecure about they way I looked, maybe it was the gay in me.
I tried fixing my hair, but got pissed when it wasn't doing what I wanted, So I just threw a beanie on and went to Kenadie’s room, I needed her help to keep my dad distracted while I leave. I stayed in my room and she called my dad up. Once he was in her room, I sprinted down the stairs and quietly out the door. I don't know what I would do without her. I walked across the lawn and knocked on his door. I hear the door locks unlock and Jack opened the door. He smiled at me, looking a little apologetic. He let me come in and we sat on the couch.
“I'm sorry about yesterday, Alex,” he sighed, before I said anything. “I was an asshole, I don't know why I even called you over. I knew that it was a bad idea and for some reason, I still did it” he gave me a sorry look and sighed again.
“It’s okay. You were drunk. I mean, it doesn't make up for that, but it’s understandable. Some people get more aggressive while drunk.” he nodded, slouching a little against the back of the couch. “What happened yesterday anyway? You looked so broken and hurt.” I asked, looking at him. He looked at me with sad eyes and started talking.
“Um…” he let out a heavy breath. “Uh… Devon he… He’s been cheating on me. For a while now.” I don't know why, but this all felt like my fault. If I would have just kept my stupid mouth shut and not kiss him, things would be this bad.
“I'm sorry, I didn't mea-” I started to talk.
“No, no, no,” he said, cutting me off. “It wasn't you at all, believe me. He’s been cheating on me for about a year.” he looked down, biting the inside of his lip. “It was with a girl to… Fuck, that feels almost worse.” he really looked like he wanted to cry, but he continued. “That's why we moved up here… So he could be closer with her, I guess. I bought this house for nothing. I don't know why he didn't just leave me, It would have been way less painful than being cheated on and it was with a girl. Like, I wasn't good enough for him.” he stopped, taking a deep breath. No, jack was amazing. yeah, he made a mistake, but Devon left him or a girl.
“And, do you wanna know something else, too?” I shrugged, and let him continue. “It was calm. We didn't blow up at each other or scream and kick… It was calm. It hurt even more than screaming because It felt like he never even cared. You fight for what you got when you care don't you? He lied about loving me.”
“Maybe he really did love you at one point.” I said, almost instantly taking it back and mentally slapping myself.
“Yeah, maybe.” he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. I was happy that he trusted me so much to tell me this. He did know a lot of people up here yet, so I guess I was his only option to talk to. “I want a drink.” he said, chuckling a little to himself. It wasn't one of those genuine chuckles, it was a sad one, the kind you give in awkward situations.
“You can get one.” I told him. It was stupid, yes, but he was an adult. I was just a kid. I looked at me and shook his head.
“Nah,” I gave him a surprised look, maybe I actually did get through to him last night. “You were right. It was stupid to think that I could just drink away my feelings. Devon tried to tell me the same thing, but I'm pretty sure that was just so he didn't feel bad if something went wrong. You were different though, you looked like you were scared in a way.” I nodded.
“I was.” I said back in a small voice.
“Why?” I sighed, I guess I should tell him. He told me all about him and Devon. Maybe this can help him too, knock some sense into the thick skull of his.
“Um.. Remember when I mentioned my friend Zack?” he nodded. "He was a partier. He loved his drinks more than anything. He was only sixteen, but he was pretty much an alcoholic. He started taking his parents drinks when he was about thirteen. He drank a lot. He used it to get ride of his problems a lot of time.” he was still confused.
“One day, he was at a party, one his way home actually, he was completely wasted. Somehow he made it home okay, but that night… Something happened in his body that didn't didn't set well with his body. He never woke up.” I said, and bit my lip so hard that I didn't know what there wasn't blood gushing from it. “When I asked what happened, they said that he literally drank himself to death. There might have been something else in his system too, but that was never confirmed.” I pulled down the sleeve of my jacket and wiped my cheeks from the few fallen tears.
Jack scooted closer and wrapped his arms around me. “I'm so sorry, Alex.” he said into my neck, hugging me tight. “I didn't know that.” I just nodded, I choked back a few more sobs.
“I don't care about that actual drinking, but I do care when someone drinks themselves to death. I really hated that dead look in your eye, like you just wanted it all to be over.” I pulled back looking at him. His eyes were red like he wanted to cry, too. It hurt me to know that Jack was doing the same thing. “I'm sorry for pouring out your drinks like that I-”
“Alex,” he stopped me again. “It’s okay. I'm sorry that I screamed at you for it. I had no idea about this.” I just nodded. “I poured them out too. After you left. I kept two of them, just to have. Something about how you talked and looked at me yesterday, told me all this.” It was an awkward silence. Neither one of us knew where to go from there.
“You got one thing out of this.” I said, giving him a light smile. He gave me a questioning look. “You met me.” I gave him a cheesy smile. He laughed a little to himself and nodded.
“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” he agreed. “You’re a good kid ya’know?” he smiled. Fuck, that stupid feeling about kissing him again was coming back. Like in every freaking movie and book, this is where the guy would lean in and kiss the girl, or in this case, the other guy. Luckily enough my phone rang. I picked it up seeing Kenadie’s name. I told Jack to hang on for a second and answered the phone.
“Hey, Kena.” I said, holding it to my ear.
“Dad is looking for you. I told him you were outside drawing again, I would get back here before she find out where you are.” she told me quickly. I told her okay and hung up the phone.
“I gotta go. My dad is looking at me and he’ll kill me if I’m over here.” I told him in a sorry voice.
“Okay,” he replied. “Thank you for talking and and stuff. Not a lot of people listen.”
“No problem.” I smiled and got up heading to the door.
“Hey wait for a sec.” he yelled. I stopped turning to him. He got in front of me and smiled. I never really noticed how much taller he was than me. He cupped my face with one hand and the other on my waist. He pulled me too him, bending down and kissed me. My hands went around his neck and kissed him back. He pulled back after the kiss, smiling. “Really, thank you.”
I nodded and walked out after telling him goodbye. Right as the door closed behind me, I let out a long sigh and couldn't stop smiling like some kind of school girl the just got kissed by her biggest crush. I walked my way home, with the smile planted on my lips. I walked in, my dad was on the couch.
“Hey dad, you wanted me?” he gave me a weird look, I probably should have come back in through the back door.
“Uh, yeah. Why weren't you outside?” I probably should have really thought this through. The smile visibly dropped, but on the inside I was jumping up and down.
“Oh, I uh… I was at the pavilion and was drawing. Its a lot nicer over there,” I wasn't completely lying, it really was nicer over there. “Kenadie called, so I came home.”
“Where are you stuff?” dammit dad.
“I dropped them off at Rian’s house. He wanted to borrow a couple things and I'm thinking of going there later.” I can lie pretty good, if I do say so myself. my dad nodded.
“Well, I need you to do your chores and have them done by the time I get home tonight.” he told me. I nodded before going upstairs. I was going to just go to my room, but I was still so happy on the inside, I needed to tell someone. I knocked on Kenadie’s door and she looked up. She told me to come in and I did, sitting on her bed.
“Why are you so smiley?” she asked, laughing at me a little.
“I just kissed the best person alive.” I bit my lips trying to to smile so much. She made and ‘ohhh-ing’ sound and put her things away, giving me her attentions.
“Details lover boy.” she really was a girl, but I was sitting here talking about it, so, why not.
“Okay, um… after we were done talking about him and Devon and Zack and all that stuff, you called me, I was about to leave before he stopped me. He held my face and my waist and kissed me. Really passionate too.” Kenadie was smiling too and laughed a little.
“You’re going to get in a lot of trouble one day, Lex.” I just ignored her comment. My heart was so jumpy, I didn't care what she thought. “why did he kiss you?” I just shrugged.
“I don't know, but I liked it a lot.” I sighed, but It was a happy sigh. “It was probably just a stupid ‘thank you’ kind of kiss though.”
“Why do you say that?” she asked, smiling fading a little.
“He said thank you before and after. He just broke up with Devon, I doubt he would just go around kissing people. Especially a teenager.” I told her.
“Well, you never know.” she smiled at me. I guess she had a point, there are relationships with age gaps all the time. I doubt this would be anything like that, I was still in high school and he was my neighbor. Deep down though, I wish something would happen, But I would rather give him time right now, that just be his rebound guy.
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