Jack kept his hands under my thighs to keep me up. My arms wrapped around his neck, my fingers tangled and played in his hair. Things were actually getting really, really hot between us. He moved his lips to neck, kissing and nibbling on me, probably trying to leave some kind of mark. I told him not too, if my mom saw it, that would be the end of me. I moaned a little and felt him smirk against my skin. I really wanted him right now, like, really bad, but at the same time, those nervous butterflies filled my stomach. I was happy he rejected me the other day after I thought about it, I would have chickened out.
I pushed Jack back a little by his shoulders, we looked at each other, but before I could say anything, Jack's cell phone went off on the coffee table. Groaned some and kissed me, setting my feet back on the floor. “You should get that.” I mumbled. He nodded and kissed me quickly again. He went over to the coffee table picking up his phone, answering it. I went over to the couch and sat down, taking off my jacked. I threw it over the armrest and watch Jack on the phone. After a few minutes, he hung up and sat next to me.
“That was a mood killer.” he said and laughed a little. He leaned on me and kick his feet over the arm rest. Now he was just playing, he was purposely pushing himself further on my pretending to stretch.
“You’re a dork,” I chuckled pushing him off of me. He laughed and kissed me. “Who was on the phone?” I asked him when he pulled away.
“My boss,” he groaned and rolled his eyes. He sat up straighter with his elbows resting on his knees. “He’s making me work tomorrow even though it was my day off.” he sighed then slouched back against the couch.
“I'm sorry,” I said and rested my head on his shoulder.
“It’s fine, I just wanted to spend the whole day with you since your school always gets in the way and your parents are actually gone this weekend.” he was really sweet. I shuffled and moved, swinging my leg over his lap. I cupped his face and kissed him.
“How about after work tomorrow, we can stay upstairs and-” I stopped kissing him again. He got what I met thought.
“Alex, I don't know, still.” I sighed. I was done with nervous butterflies, I just wanted him, all of him.
“Jack, I'm ready. I just want you okay.” he sighed. “Please,” I said, kind of a question, but at the same time it wasn't a question. I wasn't really sure what it was. He put his hands on my waist and rubbed up and down my hips. He connected our lips sweetly and pulled back looking at me.
“We’ll talk about this more tomorrow okay. I don't want you caught up in a moment.” he explained rubbing my thighs.
“It’s just sex,” I told him. He didn't say anything back, but gave me a stern look. I sighed and didn't try to argue with him. I knew he was right.
“Lets go to sleep. Its getting kind of late.” He said and I got off his lap. “Do you wanna take the bed and I’ll sleep on the couch?” he asked. I nodded and he took me up to his room. “Here,” he said handing me and extra shirt.
“Thanks.” I said and stripped everything except my boxers and changed into his shirt. It was a little big on me, but I didn't mind. He moved the blankets around and threw an extra pillow on the bed.
“Night.” He said and picked up an extra blanket and pillow. He was about to leave before I grabbed his arm and made him turn around.
“Stay here.” I said to him.
“Alex, we’re not having se-”
“Thats not what I want.” I stopped him before he would finish his sentence. “I just want to lay together.” I told him. Jack gave me a slight smile and bent down kissing me.
“Okay.” he said. I laid down in bed and pushed the blankets back waiting for him. He sat the other blanket and pillow down and turned around, pulling off his shirt. I was more or less checking him out. “Alex, I know you're looking.”
“So? You have a really nice body.” he turned around giving me a fake glare. “How about a strip tease?” he gave me another very unimpressed look. “What?” I smirked. He rolled his eyes pulling down his pants. “Now thats not very sexy.” I played.
“Sucks” he told me sarcastically and crawled into bed. He got under the covers and pulled them up to his chest. “Sleep.” he kissed me and got comfortable on his back. I got closer putting my head on his chest and slinging my arm over his waist. He was really warm. He put his arm around my shoulder and eventually his breathing evened out letting me know that he was asleep. I was comfortable like this, just cuddling him and listening to his heart and breathing.
The next morning I woke up to the bight room. I squinted my eyes looking next me, but Jack was gone. I frowned at the empty spot, I was really hoping that he was going to be here when I woke up and we could have had one of those really cute lazy morning make outs that people read about. I groaned looking at the clocking seeing as it was ten am. Jack left for work maybe a half hour ago. I sat up rubbing my eyes and picking up my phone, I didn't have any notifications, so I assumed it was still safe for me to be here. I moved the blankets, getting up and stretching at the same time. I walked out of the room going downstairs. I walked in the kitchen, seeing a note on the fridge.
‘Had to leave early. Hope you slept well. Help yourself to anything in the fridge. NO alcohol.’-Jack
I laughed at the cute note. I like how he just assumed that I would be drinking what ever he had left. Which was pretty true, but I actually haven't seen him drink in a while. I guess he was doing better with controlling his drinking. I opened the fridge and got out some stuff to make a quick bowl of cereal and sat in his living room. This almost made it feel like we were living together, we weren’t, but sometimes I like to pretend. This was maybe the eighth time I've stayed over, and I was really beginning to like it.
I didn't want to called whatever feelings I had for him love, but many times I just wanted to say it too him. I'm only 16 and turn 17 in a month, I couldn't be in love, or, maybe I could. Teenagers are perfectly capable of feeling love. I just wish I knew what Jack was always thinking. I knew he cared about me, or we probably would have slept together the first time I asked him too. Now though, I really believed that I was ready. When he gets home today, I'm taking him right up to his bedroom and sleeping with him.
I finished my cereal took it to the kitchen cleaning out the bowl. I still had a few more hours to kill so I called Rian and talked to him for a while. The conversation didn't last long because soon I heard Cassadee in the back giggling. Rain told me he had to go because he had ‘stuff’ to do, more like he had Cassadee to do. I texted Kenadie just to check in and she told me she would be out for a couple hours so she wouldn't be home. I just really wanted Jack to get home soon.
I feel asleep on the couch watching TV. I woke up to the sound of the door opening and closing. “Hey,” Jack mumbled and dropped his coat off on the armrest where mine still was. I stood up walking over to him and immediately kissing him. He kissed back hold my waist. “I never get welcome backs like that. Keep doing it and I just might keep you around.” he joked and kissed me again. “How was your morning?” he asked walking us backwards.
“Good,” I said and kissed his neck. I stopped kissing him completely and just looked at him. He gave me a questioning look. “I want to have sex with you.” I told him. He sighed just like he did last night.
“Are you sure?” I smiled, nodding and biting my bottom lip, I knew he would give in. He took a deep breath and cupped my cheeks, kissing me. I held on to his wrist near my face and kissed him back. He moved his hand down to my waist and pulled me closer before picking me up. I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist. This was it.
He walked up up the stairs and back to the bedroom. We got to the bed and he dropped both of us on it. We shuffled to the top and continued kissing. He ran his slim fingers along the exposed skin between my boxers and his shirt. I started to unbutton his shirt and slid my hands inside touching his chest. He pulled my shirt off and tossed it on the ground. He started kiss my neck and push his lower half into me. Everything felt good, but not how I wanted. It was weird feeling. I could hear and feel his breathing on my neck, it made me not want to stop, but I wasn't getting turned on like I thought I was. Something was still missing. I could feel my chest start beating heavily now.
“Jack,” I said, he didn't do anything except continuing to kiss and nibble on my neck. I just assumed that he couldn't hear me, my breath was getting heavier by the second, and not because I was turned on. “Jack,” I said a bit louder and he stopped. He sat up a bit and looked at me, his eyes were slowly becoming clouded with desire. I wanted to speak, but I didn't know what to say. “I can't,” I finally said and pushed him off of me. There, I chickened out. I got up putting my shirt one and pulling up my pants.
“Alex, are you okay?” he asked still on the bed. I looked at him and nodded.
“Yeah, I'm sorry. I-I just… I can't. I'm sorry.” I told him and ran downstairs quickly grabbing my shoes and jacket. I heard Jack call my name, but I was already out of the house by the time he could get downstairs. I ran back over to my house, happy to see that Kena’s car was back. I ran in the house and up the stairs.
“Alex? Are you okay?” I heard Kena yell from her room, I ignored it though and got into mine. I threw my shoes and Jacket on the floor and fell onto my bed pushing my face into the pillows. I was stupid. I was just a stupid hormonal teenage boy. I sobbed a couple times into the fabric before sitting up, I felt like I couldn't breathe My sister came into my room and stood at the doorway. “Alex, what's wrong?” she asked, I felt like I couldn't answer. She came over to me and sat on the bed. “Was it Jack? Did he hurt you? I swear to fuck I will ring his goddamn neck if he touched you-”
“No,” I said getting her to stop. “It wasn't Jack, I promise. It was me. I'm stupid.” I tried to get my breathing under control. He rested her hand on my back and rubbed it up and down trying to sooth me.
“What happened?” she asked again. I waited a couple minutes until I could properly breathe. I wiped my face with my arm and looked at her.
“I'm just stupid.” I told her and choked back a sob.
“Well if you’re upset, it has to be something.” she pressed on.
“Can you not laugh when I tell you?” I asked and looked at her though my lashes. She nodded and situated herself so she was face at me better. I didn't the same thing and looked at her. I took a deep breath and started to talk again. “Um, Jack and I were um, making out and I told him I wanted to have sex with him.” I stopped and looked at her. She just nodded for me to continue. “He’s rejected me a couple times, he knew I wasn't ready, but earlier, I thought I was.” I sighed.
“Go on,” she said.
“I told him I was and for sure wanted to do it, despite the legality of it all. He was hesitant, but agreed. We were upstairs and… I don't know what happened. I freaked. It didn't feel right. Fuck, I'm so stupid.” I groaned and hit my mattress.
“No, Alex. You’re not stupid. Did he make you do anything?” she asked. I shook my head.
“No, he stopped when I told him too, I just… I feel so fucking stupid. I’ve been asking him for weeks and he finally agrees and now I just… I don't know. I couldn't sleep with him.” she sighed and pulled me in for a hug.
“It’s okay,” she said rubbing my back. “A lot of people are like that, especially their first time. Even me.” she said. I pulled back giving her a questioning look. “If I tell you this, will you promise not to laugh at me about it?” I nodded. “Okay, like you, when I was with my first boyfriend we were planing on having sex on our six month anniversary. Everything was really sweet and nice, it got really hot and passionate,”
“Maybe I don't want to hear this,” I chimed in.
“Just listen,” she said and I nodded again. “I did the same thing. I freaked out and ran away.” I gave her a surprised look. “Alex, what I learned from that, was that you need to wait until you were ready. Even if you think you are, you need to think about it more. Like now, you thought you were when you weren’t. The first time I really did have sex, wasn't like I thought and I kind of regretted it for a while. Obviously Jack is a really understanding person. Talk to him about it because when you do have sex, and its with someone you really want it with, it does feel really good.” she laughed and hit my shoulder a littler.
“I just feel so stupid running away like that after I insisted so much.” she rubbed my arm.
“That’s just being a teenager, Alex.” she told me and got up. “Text Jack. He might be worried about you. Make sure he knows it wasn't his fault, but not your either.” I nodded.
“Hey, Ken.” I stopped her before she left. She turned around and looked at me. “When did you grow up?” she laughed and I did too.
“They day you got an older boyfriend. You needed someone, plus,” she paused. “It had to happen sometimes. I'm 19, I can't stay a kid forever.”
“Just don't grow up too much. I like my crazy sister.” I laughed.
“Don't worry, I don't plan on growing up that much.” she smiled and left. I was lucky to have here. I picked up my phone seeing that I did have a missed call and two missed texts from Jack. He didn't leave a voice mail, but I didn’t read the text.
‘Alex, are you okay? You ran off really fast.’ and ‘I'm sorry if I did anything. Call or text me when you can okay?’
He was a really good guy, but I still felt stupid. I sighed before calling him, I wanted to make sure that he knew I was okay.
Dont forget about my other current Jalex-> Brotherly Love