I can hear it now, just like I do every night. The voice that sends tears rolling out from behind my eyes. The voice that keeps telling me to go near it - the chasm. Get closer... Nearer... Never will you be near enough, it says. If I don't listen, it screams. Screams throughout the inside of my body, eventually making it's way out of my mouth. It's too much for me to cope with... Too much for me to cope with in life.
These calls keep me awake at night, and asleep in day.
I'm an owl, in great pain. An owl who fears night. All of my feathers have shed, and both of my eyes have shrunk. My body's too numb to feel, and my eyes are too small to see. There's nothing left for me to do. Nothing but run. It's the only option I have left. Somewhere else I'll be happy. Happier than here. At peace.
For that, I'll do anything... Anything but hear the voice.
It began as just simple, innocent whispers, pointing out the crashing waves hundreds of feet below me. Whispers I could cope with, even if they reminded me of the family I lost, and made me sob at night. It was normal. And at daytime, there was almost utter silence. But slowly the voice grew louder, and louder, creeping up on me like a lion with it's prey. Now I'm here. Where I am right now.
Somewhere I don't want to be.
With shaking hands, I throw back the covers and tiptoe out of the room, passing the beds of dorm mates I'd never see again. Pure bliss for them. Pure bliss for Tris... the girl who deceived me. She acted timid and weak, but inside there was power. Too much for her own good. None left for the people who needed it. People who needed the survival.
I enter the room, and the voice screams louder than before. I run to the edge before anyone can hear the cries and distract me...
Nearer... You're almost there... Let go of it... LET GO!... Almost home...
They say it's confidence - but it's nothing but cowardice.