Author’s Notes: I do not own Twilight and I also do not own the song Give Me a Sign by Breaking Benjamin.
Say Something I’m Giving Up On You
Chapter 5: Look at Me
After the whole scenario that occurred Ashley had felt somewhat closer to Charlie. It had been nearly a month since she moved to Forks but she still felt like the black sheep especially in school. There was the occasional flirty guy but they were only interested because she was still new compared to the other girls. Even with that unwanted attention she still felt like she was isolated from everyone. Wasn’t making friends a norm in school?
The hours ticked by as she sat through multiple classes and the multiple lectures on subjects she highly doubted the teacher even knew about. Finally the bell rang for their lunch hour and she didn’t feel like eating the strange looking cafeteria food. She saw as Renesmee finished talking to her friends and ran to the front of the building with a bright smile on her face; probably going to see her boyfriend Jacob. ‘Makes me sick.’ She shook it off and went to find someplace to keep her mind occupied until class started.
Then she heard the faint sound of a guitar playing; entranced by it she wandered into the music room and saw a boy sitting on the desk with a black acoustic guitar. She thought her eyes were playing tricks on her because he was the most handsome boy she had ever seen: he had dark hair and sky blue eyes. She finally realized that she went from admiring him to staring at him and tried to walk out of the room as stealthily as she could. Fate thought it would’ve been too easy to let her just slip out without being humiliated; she backed up and turned around only to find that she walked into the door frame.
Everything went dark but she could faintly hear a siverly voice. “Hey. Are you okay?” She opened her eyes regretting her decision when she was blinded by the classroom light. Her eyes focused on the boy who was outlined by the light. “Am I dead?”
He chuckled “Not yet. But you did fall pretty hard so I’m sure you have a nasty bump.” She tried to sit up but ended up laying back down cringing in pain. “Yeah I should’ve told you getting up would be a bad idea.” He helped her sit up against the wall; she held her head and felt the tender bump and winced at the touch. He left the room for a minute or two and came back with juice.
“You’ll be fine just sit there for a bit. Drink this it’ll help make you feel less lightheaded.” He said while handing her the bottle. His smile was as radiant as the sun and his laugh was music to her ears. “Oh I almost forgot to introduce myself my name is Logan. I just transferred here from New York, and sadly I don’t know many people here.”
“My name’s Ashley and I guess I am also new, and don’t worry I’ve been here for quite a while and I still don’t know many people.” She could feel her face heating up and tried to avoid having him look at her red face. He grabbed her hand and placed a light kiss on the back of her hand. They were both startled when they heard the sound of a loud crash. Ashley tried to get up but was failing miserably, and Logan helped her up and led her to the hallway. Her eyes widened when she saw that there was a hole in the brick wall. They looked around finding nothing out of the ordinary, but she was still curious about what or who made the hole in the wall.
Jacob had picked up Renesmee because Bella wanted her to come home for lunch that day. He was still confused here he was riding on his bike with the girl he supposedly loved but his mind still wandered to Ashley. He tried his best to give Renesmee the attention she needed but he just couldn’t put his mind or his heart into it at least not today. He dropped her off at her house and went back to his for a bit till she was ready to go back to school.
“Back from dropping your girlfriend off?” asked Billy.
“Yeah same as I always do.”
“Did you happen to see Ashley up there?”
“You know I didn’t and why would I even want to?”
“Because I need you to give her these pictures from the other day. Remember? She wanted me to make copies when I went to get the film developed.” Now he remembered they were the pictures that were taken the day she moved in. She wanted them to add pictures to Charlie’s living room. He looked at the envelope dreading what was in it. Billy handed it to him and told him to give them to her when he dropped Renesmee off at school.
“And I want you to deliver them not Renesmee. I know she would a thing or two to say about seeing Charlie this way with Ashley.” He took the pictures from his hand and went to his room to lay down for a bit. He tossed the pictures on his desk and laid on his bed contemplating whether he should deliver them or not. He was torn because he wanted to listen to Carlisle and ignore her but he also wanted to listen to his father because of the obvious reason being he is his dad. He was at a crossroads and he disliked it because both sides ordered him around whether it was to protect someone or not he was not a dog.
‘Dead star shine Light up the sky I'm all out of breath My walls are closing in’
He opened up his window to get some fresh air since he felt like the room was suffocating him. He didn’t realize how strong the wind was and suddenly a huge gust blew through his room scattering the pictures across his floor. He scurried to grab all of the pictures before they flew out the window.
‘Days go by Give me a sign Come back to the end The shepherd of the damned’
Each picture he saw brought back memories from that day: Charlie and his dad yelling at the game on TV while he helped Ashley make a cake to celebrate the big day. He remembered making a huge mess because he wanted to put the mixer on the highest speed so it could be done quicker. That was a mistake he had spent hour cleaning up. He expected her to be mad but she just laughed it off and said he would be let off with a warning and to not go into the kitchen ever again.
‘I can feel you falling away No longer the lost No longer the same And I can see you starting to break’
Since they weren’t too interested in the game they decided to play a game instead. They settled on playing Monopoly. He felt it wasn’t as exciting as the game on TV so she decided to put her spin on it. “And Jacob buys Reading Railroad for 200 dollars! But wait! How is he going to make it work when I have the other three!” she exclaimed in an imitated announcer voice.
“Oh I plan to trade it! She’ll want this last railroad so she’ll have to trade me her Parkplace property!”
It still made him laugh because they ended up shouting just as much as Billy and Charlie. That’s Monopoly for you; been tearing families apart since the 1930’s. For that day he felt like things were different for once. That day he felt normal for the first time in a while.
‘I'll keep you alive If you show me the way Forever and ever the scars will remain I'm falling apart Leave me here forever in the dark’
Then he came across the last picture; he had never seen it before and if he wasn’t seeing it with his own eyes he would’ve never believed it. The picture showed him laying his head in her lap and it looked like he was sleeping. He was never known to let his guard down in front of anyone especially not a stranger. Maybe it’s not so bad if he did let her in; he figured since he was able to let his guard down then she couldn’t be all bad.
He heard his phone ringing meaning that Renesmee was ready to go back. He dropped her off at the school and Renesmee expected a kiss but all Jacob did was give her a pat on the head. For some reason he didn’t feel very affectionate that day. He got off his bike and went to look for Ashley to deliver the pictures. There was a faint smell of strawberries and a hint of vanilla running through the halls and then he caught a better trail of her scent and followed it. He turned the corner and heard voices coming from the classroom. There he saw Ashley sitting on the floor and a boy kneeling in front of her. His eyes darkened in anger as he saw him kissing her hand. He didn’t know why but all of his anger was swelling up inside of him and the next thing he knew his fist was planted into the wall. He couldn’t believe what he did so he ran leaving his bike behind.
Ashley was feeling better after a little rest and some more juice. She said her goodbyes to Logan as she began her walk home. Charlie was there and he was out of his uniform and into his usual flannel shirt and jeans. “We’re going over to Billy’s for dinner tonight. If you don’t mind that is.”
“No it’s fine I’ll just go get changed.”
“Oh Billy wanted to know if you got the pictures.”
“The ones Jacob was suppose to give to you.”
“No I didn’t see him at all today.”
“Oh well we’ll get them while we’re over there. Hey do you mind making a dessert to go for after dinner? Billy’s not one who is talented at making sweets.”
“Sure.” she said with a sweet smile on her face.
A few hours later and they were heading over to Billy’s house. Billy was going to inform Jacob of them coming over but he couldn’t seem to get him out of his room. “Look Charlie is my friend and I happen to enjoy having Ashley around so if you’re going to be a grinch while they’re here then you might as well just stay in there. She doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment just because of what Carlisle said.” said Billy.
“Dad I have to do this to protect her. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
“You’re doing this to protect her? Or to protect yourself?”
There was a knock at the door signalling their arrival and Billy went to open it leaving Jacob behind his door to ponder the question. “Hey Billy we’re here and we’re hungry so where’s the grub.”
“Sorry Billy my father still has yet to grasp the concept of manners.”
“It’s alright Ashley I’ve known this baboon for a long time and his lack of manners is why he’s so fun to be around.”
The whole night was filled with laughter and the various scents of food. She had made a cake for dessert which was almost all gone in mere seconds. She managed to save a piece for Jacob and went to go give it to him. She stood in front of his closed door her fear of rejection grew as she lifted her hand to knock on the door. “Jacob. I saved you a piece of the cake. I figured you would be getting hungry by now.” She waited and still no response from him her eyes became saddened knowing that he must really hate her. “I’m sorry if I’m bothering you. I know you hate me so I won’t burden you with having to see me so I’ll leave it outside the door for you.” She placed the plate on the floor and walked away before he had a chance to see her cry.
Billy and Charlie did everything in their power to stop her from crying which consisted of speeches and stories. Ashley did cheer up a little bit but she still felt sad. “Ashley Jacob is very hard headed but he does have a good heart. Anything he does has good intentions. My advice is to don’t give up. If you value that friendship then you have to fight for it.” said Billy. It was crazy but he might’ve actually been right she couldn’t just give up on their friendship; if she did then that just means that it wasn’t worth fighting for.
She sat off to the side of the hallway as close as she could to his door. She would wait as long as she had to for an opportunity to beat some sense into him.
Jacob was sitting on his bed digging into the piece of cake and practically devouring it since he hadn’t eaten anything almost all day. It tasted like heaven on earth to him and he savoured every bite. “I know you hate me…” That phrase kept repeating itself in his head and each time felt like a knife to his heart. He didn’t hate her he just had to do this for her sake. He knew how painful it was for him but he never considered how she had felt. All this time he was being so selfish; maybe Billy was right and he was just trying to protect himself. That was it he didn’t care what Carlisle or anybody thought he had to be with her. He didn’t care if he had to settle for friendship it would be better than nothing. What finally got to him was when he saw that guy touch her. Just thinking about it made body heat up, but what made his heart heavy was when she thought he hated her.
‘Give me a sign There's something buried in the words Give me a sign Your tears are adding to the flood’
He got up from his bed and opened his door to find her curled up with her knees to her chest and she was sleeping. She fell asleep in the hallway waiting for him. He assumed Billy had gone to bed and Charlie was sleeping on the couch, but he couldn’t believe that they would leave her like that unless they were trying to beat it into his skull too. Finally coming to his senses he picked her up and took her to his bed. He laid her down and used the extra blankets to make him a bed on the floor; he was almost done when he heard her mumbling in her sleep. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to hate me.”
Before he knew it he placed a tender kiss on her lips to silence her cries. He felt so stupid for letting her suffer this long and for what? For a make believe reason to shield himself from thinking that maybe he was destined for someone other than Renesmee. “I don’t hate you. I will never hate you for as long as I live and breathe. Don’t ever blame yourself for me being an idiot. I was scared of how this whole situation would play out. But I promise you I will never ignore you ever again. If I ever intend on protecting you it will be with my own strength.”
He grabbed her hand gently as to not awaken her then he placed a soft kiss sealing his pact with her. He laid back down on his makeshift bed awaiting the next time he speaks with Carlisle and expecting his disapproval along with the rest of the Cullens. He doesn’t regret his decision in fact he had never been so sure in his life.
End Chapter 5
Author’s notes: Sorry it took so long to upload a new chapter! As usual reviews fuel my will to keep writing! And if you have any suggestions don’t be afraid to say anything. I usually take forever because I have difficulty thinking of new ideas and plot twists. Curse you writers block!